


The Sweetest Spark

by deadto27



Series: The Sweetest Spark [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bucky is 22, Bucky is a sweetheart, Bucky is in college, Domestic Fluff, Earns its rating eventually, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Happy Ending, M/M, Maybe not really that slow, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Pining, Possessive Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Slow Burn, Steve is 32, Steve likes looking after people, Temporary Breakup, chapter 16 is evil, eventual angst, maybe a little bit of plot, steve is rich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-06 05:54:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 73,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14635461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadto27/pseuds/deadto27
Summary: Steve Rogers runs a successful business. He has great friends and a great life. It seems like he has it all. So why is he sitting in a diner on a Friday night alone? Maybe he's just a little lonely. Maybe Bucky Barnes can help with that.-----It wasn’t just how he looked. Of course, the fact that he was ridiculously stunning was what Steve had noticed first when he’d spotted him across the diner and had left him staring with his mouth open before he’d realised what he was doing, but how could he not?...Or: basically everything I love in a Steve and Bucky fic rolled into one.





	1. Steve meets Bucky

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic, please be kind, but point out mistakes if you like :) It's basically just endless unoriginal fluff.
> 
> Oh and I'm British, so apologies for any UK spellings, even though this is set in NY.
> 
>  

It wasn’t just how he looked. Of course, the fact that he was ridiculously stunning was what Steve had noticed first when he’d spotted him across the diner, and had left him staring with his mouth open before he’d realised what he was doing, but how could he not?

The guy had this beautifully soft looking hair, tied into a messy bun, strands escaping and falling into his eyes. Every time he pushed it back behind his ears Steve had to push down the sigh that threatened to escape him. And then those eyes, god those eyes. Even from a distance Steve could see they were light blue, framed by long dark lashes and currently completely focused on the laptop in front of him.

Steve had to stop himself from even thinking about the guy’s mouth, having to literally force himself to stop looking as the guy bit down on his lower lip in concentration. He couldn’t see much of the guy’s body, hidden behind the table of the booth he was sitting at, but he thought he could make out some excellent looking arm muscles, unfortunately hidden behind the black sweater the guy had on.

But no, Steve thought to himself. It wasn’t just his looks. Steve had been watching him for over forty minutes now and the first time the guy had smiled up at his waitress, with a warm genuine smile that lit up his entire face, his eyes crinkling in the corners, Steve had felt utterly and completely captivated. This guy had a warmth that just radiated out of him.

The next time he smiled again, when the waitress refilled his coffee, Steve found himself sort of hating the waitress, wishing that this guy would smile at him and only him ever again. Of course, this guy hadn’t even noticed him—Steve was sitting out of the guy’s eye line. After an hour had passed, Steve decided he had to remedy that.

He ordered a piece of apple pie from his place at the counter and informed the waitress that he was going to move to a booth, getting a refill for his coffee and carrying it with him. He slid into the booth that was across and one down from the guy, sitting facing in his direction.

The guy looked up at the movement and met Steve’s eyes, giving him a slight smile after a second.

Steve felt himself combust at having even a small version of this guy’s smile directed at him and oh, he was wrong, his eyes weren’t light blue, they were an amazing gray-blue that Steve didn’t think he’d ever seen on another person.

Steve watched as the guy’s gaze lingered on his arms, which were very visible in the tight gray t-shirt he had on, and oh, wasn’t that interesting, Steve thought. Steve couldn’t help himself—he lifted his coffee cup, causing his right arm muscle to flex, and watched as the guy looked and suddenly dropped his eyes back to the laptop, ducking his head, and oh god, he was biting his lip again, Steve realised.

Steve had never quite gotten used to people actually finding him attractive. He’d grown up skinny and short, always getting sick, and even though he’d finally hit a growth spurt as he neared the end of his teenage years and grown out of his childhood illnesses, he still felt like the same small kid that no one wanted to know sometimes. In fact, until he’d joined the Army, he’d still carried around a lot of hang-ups from his childhood. The Army was where he’d finally come into his own. Other soldiers had respected him and his unit had become the family he’d lost when his mother had passed.

Losing soldiers and being on the brink of death himself had also caused a significant change to Steve’s mindset once he’d left the Army. He’d always known time was precious—the time he’d not had with his mother had been proof of that—but now he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t wait around anymore and if he wanted something he would get it. That attitude was part of the reason he’d been able to build up his graphic design business to the success it was today—a feat virtually unheard of for someone of thirty-two.

Steve glanced over at the guy again, amazed he’d lost himself in thought for a moment, when that guy was sitting less than ten feet from him. The guy looked over again at the same time Steve had looked and seemed to freeze a little at being caught out. Steve felt little butterflies setting off in his stomach. He gave the guy a warm smile.

“What are you working on?” Steve asked, gesturing towards the laptop.

“What?” the guy stuttered out, perhaps surprised Steve had spoken. Those big eyes were fixed on Steve now. The sound of his voice, even just one word uttered, set Steve off wondering what it would sound like if he said Steve’s name…or moaned it…

Steve pulled himself back from the brink. “I’ve just never seen someone look so focused…especially not at eleven on a Friday night,” he said, genuinely curious.

He knew why _he_ was hanging out in a diner on a Friday, but this guy seemed like the type who would be out, surrounded by friends, having a good time. Steve had a great group of friends, but they also seemed to be at the age where everyone was either settling down or busy with their own work and businesses and sometimes that meant Friday nights alone in his favourite diner.

“Term paper,” the guy responded, his face relaxing a little.

 _Well, shit_ , Steve thought. This guy was in college and probably wasn’t older than early twenties at most. Steve had been too blinded by his beautiful face to notice.

The waitress appeared and placed Steve’s pie down in front of him, momentarily pulling him away from the guy. He was still watching him though, Steve noticed, as he thanked her, as though waiting to see if Steve would keep talking once she’d left.

He couldn’t help himself, deciding that the probably fairly large age difference didn’t matter, not when someone looked that good. “Well, if you need a break, I wouldn’t mind some company,” he said, sounding a lot smoother than he had in his head.

The guy’s eyes widened, surprised again. “Oh, uh, that would…umm, sure, actually would you mind watching my stuff for a minute?”

Steve nodded, lifting his plate and cup and moving to the guy’s booth, sliding into the seat opposite him. “Sure,” he said, trying to hide the little amusement he felt when the guy’s eyes bugged out a bit. Maybe he hadn’t expected he would actually join him.

The guy slid from his seat and Steve drank in the sight of him. He was tall and lean, but Steve could see the strong muscles hiding under his clothes.

“Thanks, uh…” the guy waited, looking down at him.

“Steve,” he filled in.

“Bucky,” the guy nodded at him and headed back towards the bathroom.

Steve watched his hips as he walked. Okay, maybe he watched a little further down than that as well, but he didn’t think anyone who saw Bucky would be able to resist doing the same, though the thought of someone else’s eyes on Bucky made him knit his eyebrows together in a frown.

 _Bucky_ , Steve thought to himself as he waited. He’d never met anyone with that name, which meant it was perfect, because he’d never met anyone who looked like Bucky before. He lost himself in a little daydream, snapping out of it as he saw Bucky returning.

“Thanks,” Bucky said, sliding back into the booth. His hair was neater, like he’d just retied it, Steve noticed.

Steve nodded, taking a small bite of his pie as he tried to think of what to say next. He noticed Bucky’s eyes tracking the movement. He couldn’t be sure if he was looking at the pie or at Steve’s mouth. Maybe it was both.

Steve went with the safer option. “Can I get you anything to eat?” he asked Bucky. He’d noticed Bucky had only had coffee since he’d been there.

“Oh…no, I’m good,” Bucky replied, picking up his coffee.

“Are you sure?” Steve pressed, because it sounded like Bucky was just being polite. “My treat, seeing as you let me bother you?”

Bucky smiled at that. “You’re not bothering me.” He hesitated for a moment. “I mean…maybe a grilled cheese would be nice?” he finally said.

“Sure,” Steve nodded. “The pie’s really good too…” he offered.

Bucky shrugged casually. “I mean, sure, if you insist,” he said with a smile.

Three. That was three smiles just for Steve. They made Steve feel all glowy inside. Steve called over the waitress and ordered the food as she refilled their coffee cups.

“So, Steve, I know why I’m in a diner on a Friday night, but why are you?” Bucky asked, leaning back, looking a bit more comfortable now.

God, it _did_ sound good when he said his name. “I was working late and this place has the best pie,” Steve admitted, mostly honestly. He’d worked until eight-thirty and then sat around at home before getting bored and heading to the diner.

“What do you do?” Bucky asked, pushing some stray hair behind his ear. Steve wasn’t sure why that small movement made his heart lurch in his chest, but it did.

“Oh, I run a graphic design company.”

“You do?” Bucky’s eyes brightened with interest. “My friend is looking for internships…” He broke off. “Sorry, I mean…ignore me, I didn’t mean to jump on you like that.” He looked embarrassed.

Steve wished he _would_ jump on him. “No, it’s fine, I don’t mind,” Steve said, with a wave of his hand. “What sort of thing is your friend looking for?”

Bucky shifted in his seat. “I don’t know, she’s doing art and design so I think she wants any experience she can get really.”

Steve shifted to pull out his wallet and retrieve a business card. “Well, we take on interns all year round, depending on how long she’s looking for, so just get her to send me over some of her stuff and I’ll take a look.”

He passed the card to Bucky, unbelievably happy to be possibly able to help him help his friend as well as having an easy way to give Bucky his phone number. Technically he didn’t get involved with the intern process at all, but what did he care, he could make an exception for this.

Bucky took the card. “You run Shield?” he said, sounding shocked as he read the card.

Steve tried to look bashful even though he was very proud of what he’d achieved. “Yeah, it’s my company.” They were pretty well known in the city, though he was still surprised Bucky seemed to know who they were.

Bucky’s eyes widened slightly. “Natasha, my friend, she’s mentioned your place before, she’ll be thrilled, honestly. You sure it’s okay?”

“Of course,” Steve said as the waitress arrived with Bucky’s food. She got a heart-stopping smile from him, which then moved to Steve as Bucky thanked him for the food. Steve tried to remember how to breathe for a minute. The corner of Bucky’s mouth moved up just a little as though he knew the effect he was having on Steve. Steve coughed and tried to cover it, drinking his coffee quickly.

Bucky started on his grilled cheese and oh god, he made a little happy moan as he ate, and Steve didn’t know what to do with himself, taking another huge sip of coffee. There was no way he’d be sleeping for hours now with the amount of coffee he was downing here.

“So, what are you studying, Bucky?” he asked, trying to not focus on Bucky’s mouth, and particularly the way his throat moved as he swallowed his food.

“Biochemistry,” Bucky replied, licking grease off his fingers. Steve watched him, fairly certain he was about to die from the way his heart (and dick) jumped at the sight.

“Wow,” Steve breathed out. He wasn’t sure he’d meant to say it, but luckily Bucky seemed to think he was talking about his choice of major and not anything else.

“Yeah, what was I thinking, huh?” Bucky grinned.

“I guess that explains why you’re here writing on a Friday night,” Steve mused, trying to pull himself together.

Bucky speared his pie with a fork. “Well, that and now the pie.”

“So, which school do you go to?” Steve asked.

“I’m at NYU.” Bucky’s phone made a pinging noise and he looked at the screen for a moment. “Ugh, sorry Steve, I’ve got to get going.”

Steve felt disappointment cloud over him as Bucky started wolfing down the rest of his pie, but somehow did it in an attractive way. “Sure, sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you,” Steve said warmly. He couldn’t exactly show Bucky how disappointed he was.

Bucky looked over at him, closing his laptop and gathering his things. “No, it’s just my friend, I was supposed to meet him a few minutes ago.” He pushed his laptop into his bag and pulled it onto his shoulder. “Thanks for dinner,” he said, throwing another of his bright, genuine smiles Steve’s way.

Steve frowned at him. “That was your dinner?” It definitely wasn’t substantial enough to be dinner. He instantly felt worried about Bucky.

Bucky just kept smiling. “I’ll get Nat to email you.” Then he was up, giving Steve a wave and saying thanks again as Steve stared after him.


	2. Steve goes to a bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve pines and runs into Bucky again.

Steve definitely didn’t go back to the diner every night for the next five days. That would have been crazy. He only went on four of the five days. He was bitterly disappointed each time when Bucky wasn’t there and spent his night over at Tony’s thinking that maybe this was the night Bucky might be at the diner and maybe he should skip out on his friends early to check. Somehow he managed to stop himself.

If only he’d managed to get Bucky’s last name, at least he could have done some Google stalking to maybe satisfy his curiosity. Steve leaned back in his desk chair. He really, really needed to stop thinking about Bucky. It was the middle of a work day and he needed to focus, but it was like one look at Bucky and he’d been hooked.

He scrolled through his email, marking the most important ones until he noticed one that had come in a couple of hours ago and his heart leapt a bit. Sent from Natasha Romanov with a subject line of ‘Internship Request’. Steve opened the email immediately. He scanned the text quickly and one part jumped out at him—“My friend Bucky Barnes gave me your contact details…”

Barnes! Steve had a last name. Steve managed to contain himself. He could Google Bucky later, Natasha deserved his attention for at least a few moments—he was a professional after all.

He clicked on the link she’d included to her portfolio and found himself pleasantly surprised. Of course, as she was doing art and design at college he’d assumed she wouldn’t be terrible, but she was actually much more talented than Steve had expected. She seemed to have more of a focus on drawing in her portfolio, just like Steve had when he’d started turning his art into a career. An internship at Shield could give her some graphic design experience and be really helpful if she intended to pursue it as a career.

Steve fired off an email to Peter, his assistant, giving him Natasha’s contact details and told him to include her in whatever the process was for hiring interns, but to make sure to let him know when she’d be coming in for an interview. Once that was done he allotted himself five minutes to do a quick check on Bucky’s name. He spent ten and found nothing.

 

****

 

When Friday night came, Steve again found himself wondering if Bucky would be at the diner. Maybe he only went on Fridays? Of course, it just so happened to be the night his friends had arranged to get together for drinks, so he told himself maybe he would stop by the diner afterwards—Bucky had been there late last time after all.

He sighed at his own obsession as he pulled himself back to listen to his friends. Tony was telling some story and he should probably be laughing at some point. He joined in when Bruce and Sam laughed and no one seemed to notice that he hadn’t been paying attention.

Wanda, Pepper and Thor arrived a little late and Steve managed to properly focus on his friends, catching up over drinks.

The bar was crowded, even for a Friday night, but Steve liked it that way. Sometimes he spent so much time at the office, or home on his own, that he liked to get out among people for a change. It hadn’t been that way when he’d come back from the Army. For a long time he’d stayed away from places like this, but slowly, and with the help of mental health professionals, he’d been able to adjust.

Tony always grumbled a little when they went to places that didn’t have VIP sections, but all the others seemed happy. Steve liked to make sure his friends were happy and taken care of. He’d given Sam a job at his company when he’d left the Air Force for that very reason. Sam deserved the job of course, but Steve just liked taking care of people, he couldn’t help it.

“Steve, it’s your round!” Sam yelled at him over the din of the bar.

Steve nodded. “Alright, I’m going.” He didn’t ask what they wanted—he knew them well enough by now.

He waited politely for the bartender’s attention, even though Steve was anything but a patient man, and ordered a bottle of single malt scotch, because he knew that would keep Tony and Bruce happy for maybe the rest of the night, depending on how long they stayed, along with a pitcher of margaritas because well, they were delicious and who didn’t like a margarita.

“Steve?” a voice said to his right.

He turned to look, his eyes probably bugging out of his head as he took in the sight of Bucky, standing there next to him. Bucky had his hair down, it reached to about chin length and he was wearing a red henley with black slim jeans and the same black boots from the diner. “Bucky?” he breathed out, without really meaning to, Bucky’s eyes sparkling at him.

“Bad day?” Bucky asked, gesturing to the alcohol being placed in front of him.

“Huh?” Steve said dumbly, before realising the bartender was waiting there to get paid. “Oh!” Steve hurriedly pulled two fifties from his wallet and handed them over.

“No, uh, this is for my friends,” Steve said lamely, lifting the bottle of scotch and gesturing towards the crowd in the direction of where his friends were somewhere.

Bucky looked sort of bemused at him.

“Are you here with anyone?” he asked Bucky, trying to slow his own heartbeat down. He’d been able to act pretty together in the diner, but seeing Bucky here, out of the blue…well, Steve wasn’t ready for it.

Bucky suddenly straightened up. “Yeah, actually Nat is here, do you…I mean, do you want to meet her?”

“Oh, I…um…sure,” Steve agreed, wondering if it was a good idea to meet a potential employee in a bar, but then not caring when Bucky’s eyes lit up.

“I’ll be right back,” Bucky told him, scurrying away quickly.

He was back in moments, pulling a redhead along with him, and wow, was she stunning, with her red lips and black dress that looked like it could have been painted on. She seemed to be arguing with Bucky.

“This is Steve Rogers,” Bucky announced as they came to a stop in front of him.

Natasha froze for a moment, giving Bucky a slight glare, but seemed to recover quickly. “Mr Rogers, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said smoothly, sticking her hand out.

Steve shook it, surprised by her firm grip. “Ms Romanov, the pleasure is all mine,” he replied, just as smoothly. Apparently only Bucky turned him into a bumbling wreck. “And call me Steve.”

“Only if you call me Natasha,” she replied with a smile.

“Well, has anyone from my office called you yet, Natasha?” Steve didn’t think they would have, it would probably take a few days to get things organised, which meant he now had a chance to look good in front of Bucky.

“No, but I know how busy you are and he shouldn’t have bothered you with this in the first place,” she said, giving Bucky a fierce look.

“Oh, no, I’m glad he did,” Steve promised, with a smile at Bucky, who was standing there watching them with a little smile on his face. “I loved your portfolio, my assistant should be in touch soon to arrange an interview with you.”

“You…really?” Natasha looked a little flummoxed and Steve could tell that wasn’t a usual thing for her.

He smiled brightly at her. “Yes, really. You’re very talented. I especially loved your drawings.” He chanced a little look at Bucky, who was smiling proudly at Natasha.

Natasha recovered quickly again. “I…thank you. That means a lot coming from someone like you. I love your graphic design work, but the artwork you do…I just find it so inspiring.”

“Well, I don’t get to do much of either lately, but thank you, I’m flattered.” Steve spent far too much time overseeing things now to actually get to do design work and most of the time that was fine, but suddenly he was itching to draw something…or maybe someone.

“Cap, my man, what’s taking so long?” Sam’s voice boomed loudly as he appeared behind Steve.

“Sorry,” Steve said startled, turning to Sam. “This is Natasha and Bucky.”

“Hi there,” Sam said, reaching out to shake their hands.

“This is Sam. He works at Shield with me. Natasha is going to be one of our new interns,” he told Sam.

“I haven’t been interviewed yet,” Natasha reminded Steve.

Steve waved his hand. “The interview’s more to see if we’re the right fit for you, not the other way around.”

Sam nodded. “It’s true, we like to go on talent at Shield so if your portfolio is good…”

“Are you a designer?” Bucky asked, chipping in for the first time and instantly pulling Steve’s eyes back to him.

Sam barked out a laugh. “God no. Can’t draw to save my life. I’m the CFO.” He turned to Steve. “Tony’s been pretending to die of thirst back there, by the way.”

Steve rolled his eyes. Of course he was. “Here,” he said, passing Sam the scotch and the pitcher. “Take these over, I’ll get the glasses and be over in a minute.”

“Sorry, duty calls,” Sam said with a smile to Natasha and Bucky. “Nice to meet you both. See you in the office!”

“Sorry, we’ve been keeping you from your friends,” Natasha apologised as Sam left.

Steve brushed it off. “Don’t worry about it, I’m glad I ran into you.” He couldn’t help looking at Bucky when he said that. “Here, let me get you both a drink to celebrate the internship,” he added.

“Oh, no, Steve, you don’t have to do that,” Bucky protested.

“I want to,” Steve replied simply. _I want to give you literally anything that would make you happy_ , he added in his head, a thought that was sort of surprising even to himself. “What are you drinking?” he asked before pausing. “Wait, you are both legal, right?”

“I’m twenty-one and he’s twenty-two, promise,” Natasha said with a smile.

Twenty-two. Twenty-two wasn’t so bad compared to thirty-two. No, twenty-two was fine, Steve decided, trying and failing to stop his eyes flicking over to Bucky again.

“I’m just going to go to the ladies, if you could get me whatever he’s having that would be great,” Natasha said, giving Bucky a look that Steve couldn’t quite decipher. Bucky seemed to be giving her a small glare back as she walked away.

“Well, what can I get you, Bucky?”

Bucky stopped glaring and looked at Steve with those perfect gray-blue eyes. “Oh, umm, Nat likes vodka.”

“Okay,” Steve nodded. “How about vodka martinis?”

Bucky nodded back at him. “Sure, that sounds great.”

Steve turned to order at the bar, forcing himself not to glance back over at Bucky as he did.

“Thanks for looking at Nat’s stuff,” Bucky said, as he leaned onto the bar next to Steve.

“I meant it, she’s really talented.” Steve had to catch his breath when he looked over, as Bucky was standing a lot closer then he’d realised. He could smell Bucky when he was this close, a mix of some sort of spicy scented aftershave and something faintly chemical. That, mixed with the fact that Bucky was running his hand through his hair, meant Steve forgot how to breathe again and oh shit, he could feel himself getting a little hard.

“So is Cap a nickname?” Bucky asked.

Steve was too busy willing himself to think of anything but Bucky that he didn’t really hear him. “What?” he asked stupidly.

“Sam called you Cap?”

“Oh, right, yes. Nickname, yes.” Steve wanted to punch himself in the face for sounding so incoherent. He looked at the bar instead of at Bucky.

“What’s it mean?” Bucky pressed, giving Steve a nudge with his elbow, and Steve really, really wanted to punch himself in the face, because now all he could think was that it was the first time Bucky had touched him, and for god’s sake it was only with his elbow. Steve really needed to pull himself together.

He took a deep breath. “It’s my Army rank,” he told Bucky, this time forcing himself to look over at Bucky, because it was weird to talk to someone and not look at them for too long.

“Wow,” Bucky replied. “How long did you serve?”

“Eight years,” Steve answered lightly. He hoped Bucky wasn’t going to ask him all about it. It wasn’t a time he liked to reflect on much.

“Wow, that’s—”

Bucky didn’t get a chance to say what that was as the bartender interrupted them with their drinks. Steve pulled his money out again, while Bucky thanked him again.

“Bucky’s a nickname too,” Bucky said, after taking a sip of his drink.

Now they were getting somewhere, Steve thought. “Oh yeah?”

“Short for Buchanan. It’s my middle name. First name is James, but most people call me Bucky. Except Nat. She’s always stuck with James for some reason.”

“Capsicle!” Tony yelled in Steve’s ear as he clapped him hard on the back. “You’re supposed to be bringing glasses. How else am I going to drink the fine scotch you got me?”

Steve frowned at the interruption, as well as at the partly drunk bottle in Tony’s hand. “Looks like you found a way.”

“That I did,” Tony admitted. “Who are you?” he asked bluntly, turning his attention to Bucky. Bucky who was staring and clearly knew who Tony Stark was. Steve often forgot but Tony’s company was one of the biggest in the world and he was pretty much becoming a public figure at this point.

“This is my friend Bucky,” Steve introduced him. “Bucky, this is Tony.”

Bucky, to his credit, just shook Tony’s hand and said hello.

“Why don’t you join our table so we can have Cap back?” Tony said, taking a swig from the bottle.

“No, Tony, Bucky’s here with someone.” Steve rolled his eyes. “I should get him back over there,” Steve told Bucky apologetically. He really didn’t want to leave Bucky, but Tony had too many stories about him, embarrassing things that Bucky certainly did not need to hear and Tony was clearly almost drunk enough to start telling them.

“Oh, no problem,” Bucky said. “Nat should be back in a sec anyway. Thanks for the drinks, Steve.”

Steve smiled at him. “Anytime.” He couldn’t hold back the slightly flirty tone from his voice.

Bucky’s mouth curved up in a little smile as Steve put his hand on Tony’s shoulder and led him away.

 

****

 

“I think I just cock-blocked Steve,” Tony announced loudly to the whole table.

“Jesus, Tony,” Steve startled. “Who let him drink so much?” he asked accusingly.

“Wait, is he talking about the guy with the long hair?” Sam questioned, amusement on his face.

“Yep!” Tony confirmed. “Should we be worried Cap? Cause he doesn’t even look old enough to be in here?”

Steve rested his face on his hands as he leant on the high table. “He’s twenty-two, Tony, now please shut up.”

“I cannot believe you would do that, Tony,” Thor chipped in. “Steve here has been single for over a year and you blocked his cock?” Thor laughed uproariously.

“Hey, you forgot your glasses,” Bucky’s voice said, as Steve snapped his head up to see Bucky standing there a foot from their table, a bunch of glasses in his hands.

 _Shit_. Steve’s mouth went dry. What exactly had Bucky heard? Bucky’s mouth was tilted up into a half smile half smirk that told Steve he’d probably heard everything. _Fuck_. Steve stood there staring, frozen.

“Thanks, man.” Sam saved him, taking the glasses from Bucky.

“No problem,” Bucky answered, still looking at Steve. “See you around,” he said, his eyes sparkling again as Steve sort of managed a grunt in his direction as he walked off.

Once he was out of sight, Steve buried his face in his hands again. “Oh, god,” he moaned pathetically.

Wanda took pity on him. “It’s not that bad.”

“You don’t think he heard?” Steve questioned, voice muffled by his hands.

“Oh, no, he definitely heard. But he didn’t really seem to mind.”

“Yeah, didn’t you see the look he gave you?” Pepper added.

Steve lifted his face a little. “You think?” he couldn’t help saying, hopefully.

Bruce returned from wherever he’d been. “Right, what did I miss?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the kind feedback already :)


	3. Steve goes to a bar...again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky meet again with Natasha's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The location is repetitive. I didn't mean it to be.

Steve spent two weeks pining. He swore he wasn’t when Sam teased him about it, but apparently it was completely obvious. He didn’t see Bucky at the diner and evidently fate had given up on him, as he hadn’t run into Bucky anywhere.

Steve felt pretty ridiculous about how he was feeling, considering he’d spoken to the guy for probably a grand total of fifteen minutes, but he couldn’t help it. He knew he should stop thinking about him, but Bucky drew him in, in a way he’d never experienced before. It didn’t help that Steve hadn’t met anyone in a long time or even really had an interest in doing so until he set eyes on Bucky.

So instead he did what anyone would do, and did some excellent internet stalking. He’d discovered Bucky’s Facebook page, but the whole thing was private and his profile photo was a dark group shot, so Steve could barely make Bucky out in it. Steve thought it was pretty mean of Bucky to not share his ridiculously good-looking face with the world. He couldn’t even send him a friend request—Steve didn’t have Facebook and even if he did, that would be super weird and Steve wasn’t that pathetic. In theory.

His only hope was Natasha. She had started her internship with them that week, after a very successful interview, or so he’d been told. Pietro, one of their senior designers, handled the interns, so Steve hadn’t seen any of them yet. He usually wouldn’t at all, but he figured it wouldn’t be completely weird to talk to Natasha, seeing as he’d been the one to bring her in. He’d been very patient, waiting for a whole two days to do so.

He buzzed through to Peter. “Peter, could you request Natasha Romanov come up to see me, please?”

“Sure thing, boss,” Peter replied.

Steve let himself get lost in a financial report from Sam while he waited, until he was interrupted ten minutes or so later, when Peter arrived with Natasha.

“Hi, Natasha,” Steve greeted her, pulling his eyes away from the report. “Thanks Peter,” he said, as Peter headed back to his desk outside. “Have a seat,” Steve requested, gesturing to one of the chairs across from his desk.

She slid into one. “Am I in trouble?” she asked, but her voice had a teasing tone to it.

Steve chuckled. “I just wanted to see how you’re getting on. How have your first couple of days been?”

“Really great,” she replied enthusiastically. “You’ve really built an amazing place here. Pietro is already teaching me so much and he’s so approachable and he doesn’t treat our questions like they’re dumb.”

“I’ll remember that for his next appraisal,” Steve joked.

“You know,” Natasha said, leaning forward conspiratorially, “all the other interns are jealous of me now, because I got to come up here.”

Steve felt his face get a little hot. “Yeah, I don’t usually get to meet our interns to be honest. I probably should,” he mused, partly to himself.

“Well, Pietro is taking us all out after work tonight, maybe you could come?” Natasha said simply.

Steve didn’t want to be rude but racked his brain for an excuse not to. As much as he loved his work, having a bunch of interns question him for an evening didn’t sound all that appealing to him.

“I know you’re probably busy, but it’s only for an hour. I’m meeting James there afterwards.”

Steve blinked at the casual way she threw in that end piece of information. He tried to keep his face neutral, but the way she’d said it, almost too casually and the much too innocent look on her face told him that she was probably quite aware of his crush.

“You know, if I finish this report, I’ll try to make it,” he said, trying to be nonchalant.

The way she smiled at him showed Steve that she _definitely_ knew about his crush.

Steve swayed the conversation back to the company and chatted with her for a few minutes before Natasha headed back out. He lasted ten minutes after she left before he messaged Pietro that he would love to join him and the interns later.

 

****

 

Steve had never left the office earlier than six before. Sam had practically had a coronary when he’d told him he was going out with the interns. He’d lied and said he wanted to get more involved with them and that it would be good for the company image. Then he’d spent ten minutes in the bathroom making sure his hair looked okay, running a hand over his beard, and trying to smooth his shirt.

Okay, so being out with the interns wasn’t so bad, Steve could admit. There were only four of them and they all seemed intelligent and driven, which were two things Steve very much admired. He didn’t even mind that somehow each of them ended up showing him their art, pulled up on their phones. He ended up asking Pietro to forward their portfolios so he could have a real look and it was worth it for the looks on the interns’ faces.

Steve made easy conversation with them, before one by one they eventually started heading off, until just Natasha and Pietro remained.

“Well, I’ve got to head out,” Pietro stated as he finished his drink. “I’ll see you both tomorrow. Wanda wants to do movie night on Saturday by the way,” he added to Steve.

Pietro was Wanda’s brother. He’d met them both when Pietro had gotten his job at Shield, but had somehow developed a closer friendship with Wanda. She was a therapist with her own practice and she and Steve had sort of developed their own brother-sister relationship. He found it easy to talk to her.

“Sounds good. Tell her to text me so I know what to bring over,” Steve replied, finishing his drink too.

Once Pietro had left, Steve shifted his weight from one foot to the other, feeling awkward. Bucky wasn’t there. He couldn’t really just wait around with Natasha—it would be far too obvious why he was.

“Well, I should probably get going too,” Steve told her, trying to stop his disappointment from seeping into his voice. He could probably still get a couple more hours of work done at home.

“You should stay,” Natasha replied boldly. She touched his arm for a moment. “Look, I probably shouldn’t be saying this, it’s not very professional of me, but I kinda get the feeling that you might like this guy I know…”

Steve blinked at her, caught out. “Uh…”

“…and he’s going to be here any minute, I swear,” she continued. “Besides, it wouldn’t be very gentlemanly to leave a lady alone.”

Steve felt flustered. How did she have him pegged so quickly? “I, um…I should really…” He didn’t get to finish his mumbling because she was suddenly calling out across the bar to Bucky and some guy who was walking next to him, that Steve barely noticed because Bucky was there and he looked radiant.

“Steve?” Bucky said his name brightly, but questioningly, looking over at Natasha, who was pulling her far too innocent face.

“Hi, Bucky,” Steve managed, shoving his hand through his hair in nervousness.

“Steve came out with the interns, isn’t that nice of him,” Natasha told them. “Oh, this is Clint,” she added, introducing the other man.

Steve shook his hand. “Nice to meet you. Well, I was just about to head out, you guys enjoy your evening.” He suddenly couldn’t get out of there fast enough. This was all a mistake. Bucky was amazing, but surrounded by Bucky and his friends, he suddenly felt old.

“No, you should stay,” Natasha said with a smile. “We’re celebrating! James just got an award for his paper on something to do with some sort of chemical thing.”

Steve raised an eyebrow at her description.

“That’s an accurate description,” Clint chipped in, while Bucky looked a little embarrassed.

“Well congratulations, that’s amazing,” Steve told him genuinely.

Bucky shook his head, causing strands of his hair to fall across his face. “It’s not a big deal.”

Clint thumped him on the back. “Don’t sell yourself short, man. I read the first line and didn’t understand a word. It must be good!”

“I don’t think that’s a stellar recommendation, coming from you,” Bucky retorted with a grin.

Clint grabbed his chest. “Ouch, you wound me!” he said dramatically. “Like an arrow to the heart!”

“In any case, you should celebrate. Let me get you all a drink,” Steve offered, watching their dynamic with interest. He was pretty sure they were just friends.

“Only if you stay for one too,” Natasha commented.

Steve gave her a look. She knew exactly what she was doing.

“Come on, Nat,” Bucky spoke up. “I’m sure Steve has plans.”

“Just financial reports,” Steve said without thinking.

Clint made a loud pained noise. “You gotta stay then. That sounds like an awful way to spend an evening.”

“Clint!” Bucky scolded him.

Steve laughed, looking over at Bucky. Maybe he could stay, just for a while. “No, no, he’s right. It’s mind-numbingly dull.”

“Well, it’s settled then,” Natasha decided for him. “Why don’t Clint and I grab a table and you and James grab drinks?” she suggested.

Steve tried to give her a look to show he was on to her, but she was already pulling Clint away. He noticed Bucky giving her his own look.

“Sorry about them,” Bucky said, moving nearer to Steve at the bar. “You really don’t have to stay.”

Steve waved his hand. “Believe me, you’re saving me from a far less interesting evening. What can I get you?” he added.

Bucky half smiled at him. “Why is it you’re always buying me drinks when we meet?” he said with a small chuckle.

“I guess because you always seem to be celebrating something,” Steve replied. Steve liked treating people—it wasn’t really something he thought about, he just did it.

Bucky shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “It’s really not a big deal,” he mumbled.

God he was cute when he looked all shy like that, Steve thought. “Of course it is. I bet my friend Bruce would love to read your paper, he’s really into science stuff.”

Bucky looked like he was suppressing a smile. “Science stuff?”

Steve shrugged, his eyes apologetic. “Okay, yes, I have no idea what biochemistry really entails. Bruce does something with gamma rays and he tries to explain, but I tend to zone out—”

“Bruce as in Bruce Banner?” Bucky interrupted, his eyes wide, pulling his hands from his pockets.

“Umm, yeah?” Steve sort of forgot that in science circles Bruce was a pretty important name. To him he was just Bruce, the absolute sweetheart, who was surprisingly strong when he punched you in the arm if you pissed him off.

Bucky stood there staring at him for a moment. Steve didn’t mind and stared right back, taking in those pretty eyes again. “You know Bruce Banner…” Bucky breathed out. It didn’t seem like a question this time. “Why are all your friends so amazing?” Bucky mused.

“Eh, they’re alright,” Steve joked. He finally got the bartender’s attention and ordered four beers at Bucky’s request.

Bucky was looking directly at him when he looked back over. “You know, you’re pretty amazing too, Steve,” Bucky said softly.

There went that ability to breathe again. Steve stood there caught by Bucky’s eyes. “You’re not too bad yourself,” he managed to say after a moment.

Bucky gave him a shy smile and picked up the beer the bartender had just put down, passing a bottle to Steve. “Here.”

Steve reached for the bottle and as he took it his fingers brushed against Bucky’s. He swore his entire hand tingled at the feeling and when he looked back up, Bucky was _still_ giving him that smile.

 

****

 

Steve woke up giddy. He practically jumped out of bed, thrilled to be up at five to go for his morning workout. The night before replayed in his head.

He’d had just the one drink with Bucky, Natasha and Clint, reminding himself that Natasha was an employee and drinking too much with her was a bad idea, but they’d all been great to talk to. He’d quickly stopped feeling like the odd—and old—man out. And Bucky. He and Bucky had talked and talked, mainly about Bucky, because Steve couldn’t help asking, because he just wanted to know Bucky.

He’d learnt all kinds of interesting things, like Bucky worked at a bookstore to help pay for college, and he was on a scholarship, which was one of the reasons he worked so hard. (Natasha had argued and said he was just like that anyway.) He had one older sister, but she didn’t live nearby, and he was born and raised in Brooklyn. (Just like Steve! Steve had been very excited about that.) He’d known Natasha for years and they’d both met Clint at college. Bucky and Clint shared an off-campus apartment, that Clint fondly called “the craphole”, while Natasha lived with a foreign student called Gamora, because she said she’d lose her mind if she lived with the boys.

Steve had listened intently to them. They’d also asked about him, things about how he started Shield, where he was from, the usual things, nothing too deeply personal. Steve appreciated that.

Okay, so Steve hadn’t quite found a way to ask for Bucky’s phone number, especially not with his friends there, but he’d spent more than five minutes with the guy and that was progress in Steve’s book. Plus Natasha seemed okay with the fact that he liked Bucky, based on the subtle hints she dropped through the night—things like casually mentioning that all three of them were single and lamenting how hard it was to find a nice guy in this town. Clint had complained and pointed to himself, but apparently he didn’t count.

So maybe Steve would have to learn a little patience and see where this could lead. He could do that. And if he couldn’t, he could always stop by the bookstore where Bucky worked.


	4. Steve and Bucky (and Nat) go to dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky go to dinner and finally get some time alone together.

The next week and a half rushed by in a blur. Steve still managed plenty of time to think about Bucky, but no time to potentially stalk him (in a cute way) where he worked at the bookstore. Work was crazy, one of their designers was ill, so Steve had to pick up some extra work and with the exception of movie night at Wanda’s, he didn’t manage to get out anywhere. Sam berated him for it, but Steve would rather take the extra work on himself then dump it on an employee.

Steve glanced at the clock. It was just past six o’clock on Friday evening and he was reviewing some designs from Pietro’s team at his desk, including something Natasha and another intern had contributed to. Steve knew he was probably going to be there all night again.

“Hi, Steve,” Natasha’s voice said.

Steve had an open door policy, so anyone could come to see him whenever he wasn’t in meetings, but he was so engrossed he just vaguely muttered a “Hi, Natasha” back without looking up.

“I didn’t mean to disturb you,” she continued. “I was just wondering if you wanted to come to dinner with us?”

Steve didn’t really process her words for a moment and then finally dragged his eyes away from the artwork on his desk. “Hmm, what?” he said, before his heart fell out of his chest. Natasha was standing there in his doorway and right there next to her was Bucky.

How was it possible that someone always looked that good? Bucky was standing there with his striking face, his hair pulled back, with those loose strands escaping that just made Steve crazy, and oh, fucking christ, he was wearing a black leather jacket. Steve tried to not gape at him. When he finally looked at Natasha, the smirk on her face said that he hadn’t managed it.

“Uh, sorry. Hi guys,” Steve said when he remembered how words worked. “What are you doing here, Buck?”

 _Buck? What the actual fuck_ , Steve berated himself internally. Did he seriously just go and give the guy a nickname for his nickname? Why couldn’t his mouth just behave itself for once?

Bucky looked like he was holding back a smirk now. “Just picking up Nat.”

“I thought I’d show him round the office, that’s okay, right?” Natasha asked.

Steve finally remembered how to smile. “Sure, not a problem.” He hoped he looked casual and not like how he felt.

“It’s a really amazing place you’ve got here,” Bucky commented.

“Thanks,” Steve said, looking down at his desk and shuffling some papers into a neater pile, just so he had something to do with his hands and so he wasn’t staring at Bucky.

“So, how about dinner?” Natasha asked.

Steve started to say no almost automatically, but Natasha stopped him.

“Peter said you’ve been here late every night this week and he’s pretty sure you’ve barely stopped for food today.”

Steve frowned. That might all be true, but it was his company after all and working hard was what had made it a success. Still, maybe this could wait until tomorrow. He could spend a little more time working at the weekend than he’d planned to, to get to hang out with Bucky.

“Well, if you don’t mind the company?” Steve relented.

“We’re the ones who offered, remember?” Natasha teased him.

Steve nodded and clicked off his computer, pushing back his desk chair. He stretched his arms up as he stood—he’d been hunched over his desk all day and his shoulders were killing him. He felt a little thrill as he realised Bucky seemed to be staring at his waist, where, he realised, the blue plaid shirt he was wearing had probably ridden up a little when he stretched.

Steve smiled to himself as he turned away and gathered up his laptop and the artwork he’d been looking at before, shoving them into his bag and grabbing his jacket. “Ready?”

 

****

 

Steve was immensely grateful to Natasha. Not just because she seemed intent on getting Steve and Bucky to spend time together, but because she’d been right. He really did need to get out the office. He had a one-track mind sometimes, and could be laser-focused, sometimes to the point of forgetting to take care of himself. He was glad to be out. He hadn’t realised how hungry he’d been either, until they were sitting in this little Italian restaurant, just off University Place, that Natasha said was amazing and he’d ordered some delicious carb-heavy pasta.

He was still surprised by how easy it was to talk to Bucky, but also Natasha. It was like the age difference wasn’t really there. He talked to Natasha about the designs she’d contributed to, while she quizzed him on his favourite artists, which somehow turned into a discussion of music artists and Steve was delighted to learn that he and Bucky had similar tastes in genres.

Steve also soon learned that Natasha wasn’t subtle. The second he and Bucky had ordered dessert, Natasha suddenly had a text from her roommate who had apparently locked herself out of their apartment. Natasha stood up, apologising profusely, but insisted they both stay and have dessert, seeing as it was already ordered, and that she could get home fine and with a wave, she was off. Bucky was facing away from the door, but Steve didn’t miss the smirk she had on her face as she left.

Steve suddenly found himself alone with Bucky for the first time since the diner. They sat in silence for a moment.

Bucky fiddled with the straw in his drink. “So, is Nat doing well?” he asked, glancing up at Steve.

 _As an intern or as a matchmaker?_ Steve thought. “Oh, umm, she seems to be. I really liked her ideas on the designs we were discussing before,” Steve replied. “But Pietro really handles most of the intern stuff, I haven’t had much time this week to check in with them.”

Bucky smiled at him. “You sure do seem to work a lot.”

Steve shrugged. “Sam’s always telling me I need to slow down, but I can’t really stop myself,” he admitted. He didn’t add that sometimes he preferred being at work to being alone in his apartment.

“Nat tells me the same thing when I’m in the lab late. She thinks I need to get out more, but I really have to make sure my grades stay up, you know?”

Steve nodded. “As long as you enjoy it too though.” Sometimes, on the really busy days, it was easy to forget a little, but Steve really did love his business and it was important to remember that.

Bucky looked a little solemn. “I do…it’s just there’s a lot of pressure.”

“From your parents?” Steve asked.

Bucky looked down at the table and scratched behind his ear. “No…they um, they passed away a few years back,” he said quietly.

God, Steve’s heart broke for him. “I’m so sorry, Bucky.”

An unhappy smile flashed on Bucky’s face. “It’s okay, you didn’t know.”

“I mean I’m sorry they aren’t around anymore,” Steve said gently. “I lost my mother eight years ago. She was the only family I had.” Steve didn’t want to say he knew how hard it was, because Bucky had lost both parents and at a younger age than Steve, and no one’s experience of death was comparable anyway, so instead he just said, “It never really goes away.”

Bucky met his eyes. They looked full of grief. Steve hated the hurt he saw there. “I’m sorry about your mom,” Bucky said. “Was it sudden? I mean…no, sorry, you don’t have to answer that, it’s none of my business,” Bucky backtracked.

Steve gave him a small smile. “It’s alright. She had cancer, but it took hold quickly.” Steve didn’t add that he’d been in the Army at the time and that his mother had chosen to hide her illness from him until the final few weeks. He’d never forgiven himself for not being there to look after her.

Bucky looked at Steve sadly. “Car crash,” he replied. “It’s funny, we didn’t even get on that well, my dad especially—he never really got over me coming out, but I still miss them.”

“Of course you do,” Steve said softly. “I think they’d be really proud of you though.” Steve had already thought Bucky was intelligent and driven, but now he had even more admiration for him. He was doing everything on his own, without any help, and from what Steve could tell, he was thriving.

Bucky just shrugged. “Let’s move on to some brighter topics, huh?” he said, forcing a smile onto his face. As he said it, their desserts arrived, causing a more genuine smile to appear on Bucky’s face.

“Absolute favourite dessert?” Bucky questioned as he cut into his panna cotta with a spoon.

Steve smiled. That was an easy one. He cut into his tiramisu as he spoke. “There’s this little bakery in Brooklyn, right near where I grew up, called Robin’s, and they do this amazing cinnamon roll. That’s always been my favourite. What about you?” Steve asked, looking over to see Bucky licking panna cotta off his spoon. Steve clamped his mouth shut so he wouldn’t let out the little moan that was dying to escape him.

“Probably ice cream. Any kind except strawberry,” Bucky said, taking another bite.

It ended up being torture, watching Bucky eat that thing slowly. Steve tried hard to listen to Bucky talking at the same time, but when Bucky licked the spoon and then sucked on the straw in his drink, Steve was pretty sure his brain imploded.

Steve was pretty relieved when Bucky asked for the bill. He wasn’t sure how much more of this sweet torture he could take. Of course, when Bucky tried to pay the bill, Steve insisted that he would. Bucky tried to fight him on it, but Steve managed to persuade him, as a thank you for getting him out the office. Really, Steve had more money than he knew what to do with and he loved treating Bucky. Plus it wasn’t a particularly expensive place anyway.

“Which way are you headed?” Bucky asked once they got outside.

“Lower east side,” Steve replied. He usually walked from work, it was one of the reasons he’d bought his place, so he didn’t have to get the subway in every day. “How about you?”

“Back to Brooklyn,” Bucky said with a smile. Steve hadn’t realised he still lived in Brooklyn.

“Well, I’ll walk with you to the subway,” Steve offered. The subway was only a couple of blocks away though, he realised with disappointment.

Bucky fell into a relaxed step next to him. His elbow would occasionally bump Steve’s. He told Steve how he and Clint rented near Fulton Street station. Steve told him about growing up nearby and they talked about some of their favourite places in Brooklyn. It still felt easy, talking to Bucky. He was witty and bright and there was just this chemistry between them, or at least Steve thought there was. Maybe it was one-sided.

“Well, ah, thanks for dinner, Steve,” Bucky said as they reached Broadway-Lafayette subway station.

“You’re welcome, Buck, uh, I mean, Bucky,” Steve stumbled over his words as they stopped and faced each other.

Bucky let out a little laugh. “I like Buck,” he replied, his eyes sparkling.

“Me too,” Steve said softly, without meaning to.

The smile left Bucky’s face, leaving a more serious look there and Steve panicked thinking he’d fucked up and wished his brain could stop screwing him over when it came to Bucky.

Bucky looked at him intently for a moment and then Steve choked back a gasp as Bucky stepped forward, placed his hand on Steve’s shirt collar, pulled him slightly forward and brushed his lips with Steve’s, ever so gently. He pulled back and smiled at Steve and Steve was sure he must look absolutely stunned because that was possibly the most perfect and sweetest kiss he’d ever had and he really couldn’t focus on anything and—

“See you later,” Bucky said, pulling him out of his thoughts, giving Steve one last smile, before he turned and headed down the subway steps.

 

****

 

Somehow Steve made it home. He assumed he walked it, but he felt more like he was floating. He wandered round his apartment, unable to settle. He certainly couldn’t focus on work. Steve replayed the moment over and over in his head—Bucky’s perfect mouth on his, Bucky’s beautiful hand touching his chest, Bucky’s stunning smile as he walked away…

Steve suddenly thought of something he could do with his time. He settled down on the sofa and started unbuttoning his pants, only to be interrupted by his phone ringing.

He sighed and lifted his phone to check who it was and sighed again.

“Tony, what’s up?” he answered, slightly unenthusiastically.

“Steve-o! I called your office line and _you_ _weren’t_ _there_!” Tony said, enunciating the last three words with astonishment.

“I went out to dinner,” Steve told him.

“You went out to dinner?” Tony repeated, sounding a little pissed off now. Steve frowned, wondering why.

“Did you or did you not say “ _no Tony, I can’t come over on Friday and play cards and generally act like a normal human being and have fun, I have to work_ ”?”

 _Oh, shit_. Steve _had_ said that. Tony had invited the guys over a few days before and Steve had turned him down. “I, uh, I’m sorry Tony. I really did mean that when I said it, it’s just one of the interns asked me out and—”

“Steve, are you banging your intern?” Tony interrupted.

“No! God, no,” Steve protested. “Not asked me out like _that_ , just for a friendly dinner with her and…Bucky,” Steve trailed off.

“Bucky?” Tony took a moment. “The kid from the bar? You went on a date with the kid from the bar?”

Steve groaned. “He’s not a kid and it wasn’t a date.”

“Is he in your bed right now?”

 _I wish_ , thought Steve. “No, nothing happened. I mean…well, he might have kissed me at—”

“Steve, you kissed the long-haired guy?!” Sam’s voice cut in.

“Sam?” Steve said in surprise.

“Oh, yeah, I put you on speakerphone,” Tony said, completely blasé, and now Steve could hear Thor and Bruce in the background too.

“Does Steve have a new boyfriend?” Thor exclaimed jovially.

Steve rolled his eyes, not that they could see him. “No, and it’s not a big deal.” It kinda was but he wasn’t going to tell them that.

“It’s a very big deal!” Sam said loudly. “This kid got you to leave the office for him. He must be pretty special!”

Steve had to agree with that. Bucky was special.

“Come on Cap, come over, it’s still early, you can tell us all the details,” Tony added before Steve replied.

Steve did feel pretty bad for accidently ditching them. “Alright, alright, I’m leaving now.”

He hung up on them as they shouted approval down the phone at him.

 

****

 

“Cap, I hate to say it, but you’re acting like a teenager with a crush.”

Steve frowned at Tony. As soon as he’d arrived they’d all been mercilessly making fun of him.

“I’m being respectful,” Steve argued back. That wasn’t technically true. He was mostly just a victim of his own brain short-circuiting whenever he was around Bucky.

“Come on, you didn’t even get his number? That’s pretty weak man,” Sam chipped in.

Steve took a swig of his beer. He’d already had a couple and was feeling a little bit of a buzz. “I can’t just ask him “ _oh hey, can I have your number_ ”, that’s _weird_.”

Sam looked at him, unimpressed. “No, that’s normal. That’s exactly how people get each other’s numbers so they can then call each other and arrange to go on dates.”

“When did you become so shy?” Thor said loudly from across the room, where he was playing pool with Bruce.

He was right. Steve wasn’t usually shy. He was the boss of his own company and was an Army Captain for god’s sake, but Bucky got him all flustered. “He’s just…ugh…” Steve let out a groan. “He makes me stupid.”

“Aww Cap, would you look at you, this is adorable!” Tony reached over and ruffled his hair as Steve jerked away.

Sam laughed at them. “That’s it, Monday morning you are asking Natasha for his number or else I’m going to.”

Steve paled and looked at Sam with wide, slightly drunk eyes. “You wouldn’t,” he hissed.

Sam smirked at him. “Oh, you know I would. Otherwise I might have to spend months hearing about how you still haven’t made a move and I don’t think I can take that.”

“But…but that would be completely unprofessional!” Steve stuttered out, panicked.

Sam just shrugged. “You said yourself, Natasha seems to be pushing for this, I’m sure she’ll be happy to help you out.”

Steve looked round the room. Sam, Tony and Thor all seemed to think it was a great idea. “Bruce? This is a bad plan, right?”

Bruce laughed as he added chalk to his cue. “Oh what, am I the voice of reason here? I agree with them, go for it.”

Steve slumped back again the sofa cushions, very dramatically.

“Let’s put it this way, Cap. That boy is like the fire emoji come to life. If you wait too long, someone else might snap him up…” Tony mused.

Well fuck, if that didn’t make Steve’s blood boil just a little. Tony knew exactly what he needed to say to make Steve stop being a coward. “Alright, alright, you made your point.”

Tony clapped his hands together. “Excellent. I’ll look forward to your June wedding and being thanked for bringing the two of you together.”

Steve hit him in the arm, but that didn’t stop them all teasing him for the rest of the night.

 

****

 

Steve sat in the office on Monday morning, with Sam giving him these pointed looks every time he walked past. Apparently he hadn’t been drunk enough to forget about his threat.

“I’m getting to it, alright!” Steve yelled at him as he passed by pointedly again.

“Uh, Steve?” Natasha appeared round the corner, seeming a little shocked at his outburst.

Steve felt his face go red. “Oh, hi, Natasha. Sorry, that wasn’t aimed at you.”

Natasha gave him small smile. “I just wanted to quickly thank you for dinner, I didn’t get a chance to on Friday.”

Steve gave her a warm smile back, even though she obviously hadn’t had a chance because she’d run off and left them there. “You’re welcome. Thanks for getting me out the office for a decent meal.”

“James had a good time too,” she added, and there was that look of innocence on her face again.

“Uh, good, I’m glad.” This was it, this was his moment. He started to open his mouth again.

“Actually, James wanted me to apologise for what happened at the end of the night.”

Steve’s mouth went dry. Bucky wanted to apologise? Bucky was sorry about the kiss? Did that mean the kiss was a mistake? Did he read too much into it?

Natasha continued before he could speak. “He said to say sorry for his bad manners and to give you this.” She reached out and passed him a piece of paper.

Steve took it, curious now, and saw a phone number. He blinked at it and looked up at Natasha, who now had a sly smile on her face. “Anyway, see you later boss,” she said, her smile widening before she turned and left Steve there, staring at the piece of paper.

Predictably, Sam appeared in his doorway moments later. “Did you get it?” he asked, looking at the paper in Steve’s hand.

Steve nodded back, not feeling the need to tell Sam that he hadn’t actually asked for it, and Sam broke into a delighted grin. “I’m your best man, don’t forget,” he said as he left.

Steve sighed and rolled his eyes at Sam’s back.

A few minutes later, he got a text from Tony. Just rows and rows of the fire emoji.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am amazed by the kudos, comments and subs. Thank you so much, hope you enjoy this chapter :)


	5. Steve and Bucky use emojis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky comes over to Steve's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love real estate porn. This is where story Steve lives, in case you like visuals like me. 
> 
>   
> [196 Orchard St](https://196orchard.com)

Steve waited until he was home. He knew he wouldn’t focus at work if he was waiting for a text back, plus he should probably try to not seem as keen as he was—he didn’t want to scare Bucky off.

Happily, he’d made it home at a reasonable hour, having caught up on a lot of work over the weekend. He finally relaxed on the sofa, browsed through Netflix, and drafted oh, maybe a dozen variations of texts to Bucky before settling on possibly the most boring and mundane one. He forced himself to press send and threw his phone onto the sofa cushion so he didn’t just stare at it, waiting.

**Steve:** So do you usually get Natasha to give out your number?

Steve grabbed his phone when it bleeped around ten minutes later.

**Bucky:** Yeah, she had 3 to drop off today, which one is this?

Steve let out a little laugh.

**Steve:** Hopefully your favourite one?

_Was that too flirty,_ he thought to himself. Luckily, he didn’t wait long for a reply this time.

**Bucky:** Hmm that would be this tall, blond, ridiculously built guy who sometimes gets a bit blushy around me

Steve blushed as he read. His phone bleeped again.

**Bucky:** Are you blushing right now?

**Steve:** Of course not *blushing emoji* ☺️

**Bucky:** *lying face emoji* 🤥 What are you up to?

**Steve:** At home waiting for my Thai food to arrive, you?

**Bucky:** *yummy face emoji* 😋 Yum jealous. Just leaving the lab at school.

Steve lived twenty minutes from NYU. He typed a message before talking himself out of it.

**Steve:** You should come over and have some, I always order tons

Steve waited nervously.

**Bucky:** Seriously? I am starving…

**Steve:** Yeah come over *smiley face emoji* 🙂 196 Orchard St

**Bucky:** Okay see you in 30

Steve felt butterflies in his stomach. Bucky was coming over to his house! It was practically a date. Sharing food sounded very date-like to him anyway.

He jumped up from the sofa and ran around the apartment, tidying up a bit. Then he went to his closet and pulled out a fresh shirt—a dark blue henley that Wanda had once said looked good on him. He checked his hair in the mirror and brushed his teeth and then remembered to call down to the lobby so they would let Bucky straight up.

It felt like only moments later when there was a knock on his door. Steve took a deep breath and opened it with a smile.

“Hey, Bucky,” Steve said, drinking in the image of Bucky. He had his hair up as usual and had on a red and white plaid shirt and a denim jacket with black jeans and sneakers. He was breathtaking.

“Hey, Steve,” Bucky said back, in that soft voice of his, those eyes looking up at Steve.

“Come on in,” Steve told him, backing away from the door.

Bucky smiled shyly. “Thanks.” He came in and shut the door behind him. “Should I take these off?” he said, looking down at his shoes.

“Oh, sure, if you want to.” Steve actually preferred if people did, but he wasn’t going to force Bucky. Bucky toed off his shoes anyway.

“I stopped by the store and got you this,” Bucky said, holding out a bag to Steve, which he hadn’t noticed before, because why would he notice anything that wasn’t Bucky when Bucky was there.

He’d brought beer, the same kind Steve had drank at the Italian place. Bucky really was observant and so thoughtful, Steve realised, his heart pulsing erratically. It was so nice to have someone think of him.

“Thanks, this is great,” Steve said, leading Bucky further into the apartment, to the kitchen and living area, where he set the bottles down and turned to face Bucky.

Bucky was looking round the room in wonder. “Wow, your place is really nice,” he said, wandering over to one of the many almost floor to ceiling windows that covered three of the walls and taking in the amazing view.

Steve had basically bought the place for the views and the lighting.

“Oh my god, you have a terrace?” Bucky said.

Oh and the frankly amazing terrace.

“Uh, yeah,” Steve replied. “We can go out there to eat if you like?”

As he said it there was a call from downstairs that his food had arrived. “I’ll just run down and collect it, make yourself at home,” he told Bucky.

When Steve returned, Bucky was sitting on his sofa, scrolling through Netflix, which Steve had left on screen. Steve started pulling the food out the bag, onto the kitchen counter.

“Uh, Steve?” Bucky asked, looking over at him.

“Yeah Buck?”

“Do you have a Disney movie obsession?” Bucky said in a teasing tone.

Steve’s eyes widened. _That’s_ what he’d been doing—looking through his Netflix queue. Well, that was embarrassing, but it was too late now. “I’ll have you know, some Disney movies are masterpieces,” he retorted, pulling out plates from a cabinet.

“Oh really?” Bucky said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“That’s right,” Steve replied, and wow did it feel good to be joking with Bucky like this. “Come pick your food,” he told Bucky.

Bucky dutifully got up and headed over to see what Steve had ordered. “Mmmmm, pad thai,” he moaned.

Steve tried to focus on the words and not the moan. “Of course. Is it even Thai takeout if you don’t get pad thai?” He passed Bucky a serving spoon.

Bucky loaded up his plate with pad thai and coconut rice and the vegetables in coconut milk Steve had ordered, along with selecting a few things from the starter platter that he’d also got.

Steve poured out the beers and they headed to the terrace where Steve flicked on the outside lights. It was a lovely night for early October, not too warm, not too cool, just right.

Steve set his food down on the stone table and sat on the smooth wooden log bench that faced out onto the city. Bucky sat down next to him, probably so he could also look at the view, Steve thought.

“This is amazing. If I had this terrace I would never leave,” Bucky said, looking at the city lights that went on as far as they could see.

Steve would let him live on the terrace if it meant he would never leave. “So, what were you working on so late in the lab?” Steve asked, taking a bite of his food.

Bucky started talking about a project he was working on, between mouthfuls of food and the occasional yummy food noise that he would make, which definitely didn’t make Steve a little aroused.

“I really need to introduce you to Bruce. And Tony properly, actually,” Steve commented. He’d sort of understood Bucky’s work, but not in a way where he could really appreciate it. He’d mostly just figured out that Bucky was exceptionally smart.

“Seriously?” Bucky commented, his fork hovering in front of his mouth. “That would be incredible.”

Steve just smiled back.

Bucky put his fork down and shifted his body to face Steve more, looking serious all of a sudden. “Steve, I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you for what you can give me—”

Steve started to protest, but Bucky shushed him, placing his hand on Steve’s knee and that made Steve forget his words again.

“I mean, you helped out Nat and now I might get to meet one of my actual heroes because of you…plus you keep feeding me,” he added with a small laugh. “But I just want you to know, I really like you,” he finished, looking a little nervous.

Steve placed his hand on top of where Bucky’s was on his knee. “I really like you too,” he admitted, as if that wasn’t obvious.

He was rewarded with one of Bucky’s smiles—a sweet, shy one this time. Bucky shifted his hand round under Steve’s until it was palm up and laced his fingers with Steve’s, picking up his fork in his other hand, and started to eat again, all the while holding Steve’s hand.

 

****

 

Bucky held his hand for the rest of the meal while they chatted about everything and nothing. Steve revelled in it. He had surprisingly soft hands. Bucky finally let go when he picked up the empty plates to take them inside. Steve got irrationally angry at plates for taking Bucky’s hand away.

“You don’t have to do that,” Steve told Bucky as he turned on the tap to start washing up.

Bucky smiled and pushed his hair back. “I know, but let me. I want to.”

Steve wanted to argue, he really did, guests shouldn’t tidy up, but Bucky seemed so happy to help that Steve backed down and thanked him instead.

“Did you want any dessert?” Steve asked him, sliding onto one of the chairs at the counter opposite Bucky. “I think I have ice cream…or I could go and buy some?” Steve offered.

Bucky shook his head with a smile. “No thanks, I’m so full. I wouldn’t mind a coffee if you’re offering?”

“Sure,” Steve smiled, happy he’d requested something. He walked round to the counter opposite the sink and busied himself making coffee. He turned round to ask Bucky how he took it and found himself face to face with him, standing probably too close, Bucky having just finished the dishes.

“Uh, how do you take it?” Steve asked, staring at Bucky’s lips. “Your coffee, I mean,” he sputtered out.

“With just a little sugar,” Bucky replied softly.

“Okay,” Steve choked out, not moving.

Bucky stepped even closer until his chest was brushing up against Steve’s. “Thanks,” he practically whispered, before leaning in and pressing his lips to Steve’s.

Steve shut his eyes and leaned into the kiss. Bucky’s lips were so soft and he kissed so sweetly. He smelled so good, like something warm and musky and that faint chemical scent like before. Maybe that was from working in the lab. When he broke away after a moment, Steve felt like his whole body was buzzing, nervous energy coursing through him.

He couldn’t help himself. Steve wrapped an arm around Bucky’s waist and pulled him back in, kissing him much more fiercely this time, as Bucky let out a little noise of surprise. Steve ran his hand over Bucky’s shoulder, up his neck and onto his face, his fingers brushing into Bucky’s hair, as he pushed Bucky up against the counter a little with the force of his kiss.

Bucky felt so good pressed up against him that Steve couldn’t think. All he could do was feel and god, was it a good feeling. He lightly bit Bucky’s lower lip, like he’d been dying to do since he first saw him, and Bucky opened his mouth a little, letting Steve taste him. He buried both hands in Bucky’s hair and, good god, that was as soft as Steve had imagined too.

Bucky had one hand on Steve’s bicep, grasping it like he was holding on for dear life, and the other on Steve’s cheek, grazing through his beard. Steve vaguely hoped he wasn’t giving Bucky some kind of beard burn with the forcefulness of his kissing—his ex-girlfriend complained about that before—but he couldn’t seem to hold back.

Bucky moaned against his mouth and Steve found himself uncomfortably hard in his jeans. Steve finally broke the kiss when it got too overwhelming, gasping hard for air. He hadn’t kissed anyone like that in so long, or possibly ever, and he hadn’t realised how much he needed it and Bucky was just incredible.

Bucky looked a little wrecked, his hair all in disarray and his lips red and swollen from Steve’s unyielding kisses, also gasping hard as he let go of Steve. “Jesus, Steve,” he sputtered out with a little smile.

“Sorry,” Steve’s response came automatically and a little choked.

“Are you?” Bucky asked, looking at him curiously.

“Umm, no,” Steve said honestly. “I don’t know why I said that.”

Bucky chuckled at him. “Good, that’s…good.” He put his hands against the counter behind him, leaning back a little, as if he needed to steady himself.

“Honestly, I’ve been dying to do that since I first saw you,” Steve admitted, his face getting a little red.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Oh really?”

“Yeah, really.” Steve almost stepped forward to kiss Bucky again but stopped himself. “Bucky? Can I ask you something?”

Bucky smiled his curious smile. “Sure…”

Steve took a breath. “Does the age difference bother you?” He had to bring it up eventually.

Bucky looked thoughtful for a moment. “I don’t know, should it?” Bucky replied, looking serious now.

Steve sighed. “I don’t know, I mean, I guess maybe it should, but I really, really hope it doesn’t.” Steve ran a hand over his hair.

“Does it bother you?” Bucky asked, moving his hands from the counter so he was standing properly.

Steve should have been bothered. Maybe other people would think it was weird—his friends certainly gave him a hard enough time about it—but it was Bucky. He cared about Bucky. That was all that mattered to Steve. “No, it doesn’t,” he replied honestly.

Bucky gave him a little smile. “Then it doesn’t bother me.”

Steve must have looked a little sceptical, as Bucky kept talking.

“Look, I’ve been with enough crappy guys my own age to know that what matters isn’t someone’s age, it’s who they are and how they treat me and from what I’ve seen so far, you seem like the kind of guy who’ll treat me right. So who cares that you’re a little older. I like you,” Bucky finished, sounding a little nervous.

Steve’s mind was in total conflict at Bucky’s statement. Bucky had been treated badly in the past and Steve wanted to head out right now and find whoever those assholes were and beat them to a pulp. But Bucky thought Steve was different, one of the good ones, and that made Steve’s heart burst, and damn if that wasn’t true. He would never hurt Bucky intentionally, ever. All he wanted was to wrap him up and take away any hurt those assholes had caused him and prove every day that Bucky trusting him was the right choice.

So Steve did a version of that. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist, planting a chaste kiss on his lips. “Me too,” he murmured against Bucky’s lips.

Bucky wrapped a hand around the back of Steve’s neck and Steve captured Bucky’s mouth again, this time a little less chastely. Bucky responded with a moan, letting his tongue slide into Steve’s mouth. God, Steve could kiss him forever.

To Steve’s disappointment, Bucky pulled away after a moment, panting a little, placing a hand on Steve’s chest. “I would really love to keep doing this, but it’s getting pretty late and I really should be getting back to Brooklyn.”

Steve frowned, moving his hands from Bucky’s waist as he turned to look at the clock on the oven behind him that Bucky had obviously spotted. Steve glared at the clock. Time seemed to stop for him when he kissed Bucky, but apparently it kept on ticking in reality. It _was_ getting pretty late. He didn’t like the idea of Bucky heading home alone.

“You should stay,” he blurted as he faced Bucky again.

Bucky looked surprised and then a little uncomfortable. “I, um, I was sort of hoping we could take this a little slow…it’s sort of been a while since I dated anyone,” he admitted, looking worried.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean…I mean I have a guest room,” Steve sputtered out. Much as he would love to have meant it the way Bucky had taken it and would love to have Bucky in his bed, Steve hadn’t even taken Bucky out on a real date yet and he was nothing if not a little old fashioned.

“You could stay and in the morning you’d only be a twenty-minute walk from campus,” Steve continued. “I, uh, I want to take this slow too.” Well, semi-slow, Steve thought. Being single for over a year made him want to be both super fast and super slow. It was an odd contradiction.

Bucky’s face relaxed. “Are you sure?” he asked.

Steve could hear that he was a little tempted. He didn’t even feel insulted if Bucky was more tempted by not having to travel than the temptation to stay with Steve. “Yeah, of course. I don’t really want you travelling to Brooklyn on your own at this time.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at that. “I do it all the time, Stevie.”

_Stevie?_ That was new. Steve liked it a lot. It felt intimate somehow. “Please?” he asked, giving Bucky his best sad face.

Bucky laughed. “Alright, if you insist. Now where’s my coffee?”

Steve startled. He’d forgotten about the coffee. It was probably going cold. “You shouldn’t have coffee before bed,” he told Bucky.

“Well if I’m staying here, I don’t need to go to sleep yet. We could watch something on Netflix?” Bucky suggested.

Steve remade the coffee for Bucky and they ended up watching some superhero show that Bucky liked, that Steve hadn’t seen before. Steve didn’t see much of it anyway—first he was too focused on Bucky sitting there next to him, pressed together on the sofa and then he fell asleep on Bucky’s shoulder.

“Stevie,” a whispered voice woke him up. “You need to go to bed.”

Steve opened his eyes blearily to see Bucky looking at him fondly. “Sorry,” he yawned.

Bucky just looked at Steve warmly and then stood and helped pull Steve to his feet.

“Here, let me show you the guest room,” Steve said groggily, leading Bucky towards the hallway.

Bucky grasped his hand, making Steve pause and look back at him. “I could stay in your room,” he suggested, with a slightly uneasy smile. “I’m sure you can be a gentleman and keep things PG.”

“Sure,” Steve said brightly now, suddenly more awake. A night with Bucky in his bed, even if they weren’t _doing_ anything, sounded so perfect he thought he might burst. He kept hold of Bucky’s hand and led him to his bedroom.

Bucky let go of his hand and flopped onto Steve’s huge bed, face first. “Oh my god, this is comfortable,” he said, voice muffled by the bedding.

Steve chuckled at him. He left Bucky there and went through to the adjoining walk in closet, looking through his stuff until he found a comfy t-shirt and plaid pyjama pants. Bucky should be able to tighten the drawstring enough so they fit okay, Steve thought.

“Here, clothes,” Steve said, dropping them next to Bucky on the bed.

He turned his head to look. “Thanks, Stevie.”

Steve smiled at him. “I’ll just go brush my teeth,” he said, heading back through the closet into the adjoining bathroom.

When he returned, having found a spare toothbrush for Bucky and leaving it next to the sink, Bucky was dressed in Steve’s clothes. Steve felt oddly possessive about that. It was like Bucky was his.

“What do you think?” Bucky asked, lifting his arms out.

They were a little big, but that didn’t matter. “You look beautiful,” Steve said softly.

Bucky dropped his arms and looked down. “Stevie,” he breathed out, almost bashfully.

“I left a toothbrush out for you,” Steve told him, trying to keep things light. Bucky thanked him, heading to the bathroom with a little shy look at Steve.

Steve stripped off his clothes and pulled on similar clothes to Bucky’s. He usually slept in just his boxers or sometimes even naked, but he’d promised Bucky to keep it PG. He slipped into his bed, setting his alarm for an hour and a half later than usual, because he wasn’t going to wake Bucky just to work out.

Bucky returned and grabbed his phone and seemed to be texting before he set it down on the nightstand and pulled back the covers, sliding into bed.

Steve regretted buying such a big bed. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but sadly it meant that he couldn’t pretend that he had to snuggle Bucky due to the lack of space. There was plenty of room for them both.

“Goodnight, Stevie,” Bucky said as he rolled to face him. He leant over and up to give Steve one of his gentle, perfect kisses.

Bucky had said he wanted to take things slow, but having him in his room like this was so intimate, almost more so than if they’d been doing anything, and Steve’s heart must have realised that by the way it was thudding in his chest.

“Night, Buck,” Steve said, his breath hitching, taking in Bucky’s beautiful face before flipping off the light. He shut his eyes and tried to focus on sleeping and not that Bucky was right there in his bed, but when Bucky shifted and hooked his ankle around Steve’s leg it took Steve another forty minutes to drift off.


	6. Bucky and Bruce like science stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after and Bucky meets Bruce.

Steve woke up ten minutes before his new alarm was due to go off at six-thirty, which was weird because sometimes he didn’t even need his alarm when he woke up at five. He must have been sleeping really well.

As he opened his eyes, he remembered why. Bucky was there next to him, lying on his chest, but his face turned towards Steve, sound asleep. He was the most beautiful thing Steve had ever seen. He wished he could take a picture of Bucky like this, but that would be weird and creepy, Steve supposed.

Steve turned off his alarm and got a little lost in staring at Bucky, watching the even rise and fall of his back, staring at his outrageously long eyelashes. He finally pulled himself away, getting out of bed as carefully as possible, so he didn’t wake Bucky, and padded across to the bathroom.

He headed back and checked his phone as he left the room carefully, going to the kitchen, and brewing some coffee for himself. He checked his schedule and he didn’t have any meetings until eleven. Maybe he could go in late and he and Bucky could go out and grab breakfast somewhere. Steve didn’t really have much in the way of food in the house. He couldn’t remember when he’d last shopped.

Steve texted Sam quickly to let him know he would be in a bit late. When his phone rang a moment later, he sprang to answer it, hoping the noise hadn’t travelled to the bedroom and woken Bucky.

“Sam?” he hissed.

“You’re coming in late? Are you dying?” Sam said, awfully loudly.

Steve tapped the volume button down. It was too early for his booming voice.

“No, I just don’t have any food and need to get breakfast,” he sort of lied.

There was silence for a moment. “But you always eat breakfast at work anyway,” Sam replied, voice laced with suspicion.

Oh, right, that he did. “I, uh…” Steve stuttered, caught out.

“Oh, my god, is there someone there right now? In your apartment? In your bed?” Sam practically yelled at him.

How did he just know these things, Steve thought, flustered. “Okay, yes,” he admitted, “but not like that, he just slept here.”

“He? The kid?” Sam asked.

Steve sighed at him. “He’s not a kid, his name is Bucky, and yes.” He expected Sam to start ribbing him immediately, but was surprised.

“Steve, that’s great man, really,” Sam said genuinely.

“It is?” Steve asked, taken aback.

Sam chuckled. “Of course it is. I know you don’t talk about it, but I could tell you’ve been kinda lonely lately.”

Steve rubbed his forehead. He hadn’t realised it was that obvious.

“It’s good you’re taking it slow though,” Sam continued. “I don’t want you getting hurt.”

Steve felt both touched and a little embarrassed. He knew what Sam was talking about. When his ex had left, Steve had been a mess and Sam had been there to pick up the pieces, listening endlessly, stopping Steve being self-destructive, and generally reminding him that just because his ex wasn’t the right one, that didn’t mean someone else wasn’t. He’d been instrumental in Steve getting his confidence back and realising that he had a lot to offer, for the right person.

“Thanks, Sam,” Steve replied with a smile.

“Alright, go snuggle with your boy and I’ll see you later,” Sam laughed, hanging up.

Steve felt warm at his words. _His boy_. Is that what Bucky was? Well, maybe not yet, but maybe he could be. Steve smiled and finished his coffee.

He went to shower in the other bathroom, the one he barely used, so the noise wouldn’t wake Bucky and headed back to his bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He walked lightly across the room to look through the closet for something to wear, pulling out one of his suits, seeing as he had meetings with clients today.

He heard the bedding shifting and looked over to see Bucky lifting his head and looking round, bleary-eyed.

“Stevie?” his voice said softly, before his eyes came to rest on Steve. “Holy fuck,” Bucky breathed out as he sat up.

Steve frowned in concern. “What’s wrong?” he asked, stepping back into the bedroom.

Bucky looked like he gulped. “Uh, nothing,” he said, and Steve noticed Bucky’s eyes wandering down his chest.

Oh. _Oh_ , Steve thought. Bucky was staring at him because Steve was half naked. Bucky was looking at his chest. “See something you like?” he teased, before he could stop himself.

Bucky let out a little choking sound. “Uh, maybe,” he replied, and Steve noticed his hands were fisting the bedcovers.

Steve could just head over there and climb over Bucky and kiss him into the mattress, but he controlled himself. Bucky wanted to go slow and he could do that, even if he _had_ had to jerk off in the shower just now, thinking of Bucky’s lips.

Steve smiled at him, trying to control himself. “You want some coffee?” he asked.

“S-sure,” Bucky said, pulling his gaze away to Steve’s face instead of his chest. “What time is it?”

“Coming up to seven. I thought we could go out and grab breakfast if you have time?” Steve offered.

Bucky nodded. “That sounds great. Don’t you need to be at work soon though? Nat says you’re always the first one there.”

Steve shook his head. “I already called Sam to tell him I’d be a little late.”

Bucky looked a little stunned. “You’re going to be late just so you can have breakfast with me?”

Steve chuckled at the look on his face. “Of course I am. Don’t worry, I know the boss,” he joked.

The corner of Bucky’s mouth tilted up.

“Do you want to take a shower?” Steve offered.

“Yeah, thanks,” Bucky said, climbing out of bed.

“There are towels in the cupboard in there,” he told Bucky as he wandered over.

“Thanks, Stevie,” Bucky said, planting a kiss on Steve’s cheek as he passed, making Steve’s heart thump at the cuteness of it.

Steve got dressed as Bucky showered and made him coffee, leaving it on Bucky’s nightstand, because apparently his other nightstand was now Bucky’s nightstand in Steve’s mind.

The bathroom door opened and Bucky came out looking a little blissful. Now it was Steve’s turn to stare. Bucky had one towel round his waist and another slung over his shoulders, but his chest was still visible and while he wasn’t big like Steve, he was all lean, with tight, toned muscles and Steve wanted to lick the water droplets rolling down his abs, oh god…

“Okay, firstly, your shower is incredible, you’re lucky I didn’t decide to live in there—”

 _Live in my shower_ , thought Steve. _Live in my apartment. Hell, kick me out and take it, whatever makes you happy_ , Steve’s brain babbled internally.

“—and secondly, do you have a shirt I can borrow?”

Steve’s brain switched back on. “Of course, take anything you want,” he said gesturing to all his clothes in the closet. Literally, Bucky could have anything he wanted. He could ask Steve for his eyes and Steve would rip them out of his own head.

“I’ll, umm, be in the living room,” Steve said, realising he should give Bucky some privacy. “Coffee’s on the nightstand.”

 

****

 

When Bucky joined him in the living room, he was wearing his black jeans and Steve’s NASA t-shirt. It was a little big, but it had always been tight on Steve, so it didn’t drown Bucky. Steve felt a possessive growl trying to escape him, but held back.

Bucky’s hair was still damp, hanging down, and he was holding his now empty coffee mug.

“Is this okay?” Bucky asked, gesturing to the shirt.

Steve swallowed. “Of course. Looks good on you. Did you need a sweater?” he offered.

Bucky shook his head. “Got my jacket,” he reminded Steve.

Steve suddenly thought of something else. “Did you, uh…underwear?” he sputtered out, before taking a gulp of his second cup of coffee to try and hide his embarrassment.

Bucky gave him a grin. “Nah, I’m good,” he said, setting his mug on the kitchen counter. “Going commando,” he threw out there flippantly.

Steve did something he thought people only did in movies as he choked and full on spat his coffee out.

Bucky practically died laughing at him as Steve almost died of mortification. “Smooth, Stevie,” he laughed, as Steve scrambled for a dishcloth to wipe the mess he’d made.

Steve rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Could we maybe forget I just did that?”

Bucky sidled up to him. “Nah, I kinda like how worked up you get sometimes,” he said, running his hand up Steve’s arm.

In what seemed to be a thing now, Steve forgot to breathe again. “Bucky,” he gasped out.

“This suit looks real good on you,” Bucky said softly, grasping Steve’s tie with his other hand, pulling on it a little to get Steve to lower his head.

Bucky tasted like coffee. It was oddly intoxicating. Bucky kissed him deeply, but slowly, like a passionate mixture between the soft kisses they’d had and the intense pushing Bucky into the counter kiss. Steve actually whined when Bucky pulled away.

“You need to change your shirt,” Bucky told him, his eyes sparkling.

Steve looked down. There were coffee stains all over the front. He sighed and shook his head. “And who’s fault is that,” he said, with a wry smile.

Bucky got a mischievous look in his eyes. “Mine,” he said, pressing his lips together, like he was trying not to laugh.

“That’s right,” Steve agreed, surprising himself by placing a kiss on Bucky’s forehead, before heading to his bedroom, unbuttoning as he went.

 

****

 

They finally left the apartment, heading to Coco & Cru near NoHo. Bucky reached out and held his hand most of the way there. Steve glowed.

Steve had baked eggs and Bucky had an omelet and then insisted on paying. Steve argued for a good few minutes before Bucky seemed to be getting actually truly annoyed with him and he relented. He made sure to thank Bucky profusely until Bucky smacked him on the arm.

When it was time to head their separate ways, Bucky leaned in and gave Steve one of his signature sweet kisses. “Thanks for having me over,” he said tenderly.

“Anytime, Buck.” And he did mean anytime. If Bucky wanted to move in right there and then, Steve would probably say yes.

“Have a good day at work, honey,” Bucky joked as he pulled away from Steve.

Steve knew it was just a joke, but wow did that sound nice. So domestic and fluffy and like little birds were singing round his head, like in a Disney cartoon. Steve tucked a loose bit of hair behind Bucky’s ear. “Go learn something,” he ordered with a smile.

Bucky smiled back. “Yes, sir,” he joked. Steve didn’t tell him what hearing _that_ did to him. “Text me?” Bucky added, his voice sounding a little unsure all of a sudden.

“Of course,” Steve assured him, stealing another quick kiss before they both turned and headed off. Steve definitely didn’t twist his head round three times to watch Bucky before he disappeared round the corner.

 

****

 

It was too much to hope that Sam would stay supportive and nice. Instead, he spent the day making fun of Steve’s face, because apparently it was “dopey as fuck”. He’d eventually worn Steve down for the details and Steve had given him a brief overview of his night.

After Steve’s first meeting, he headed down to see Pietro. He was feeling inspired and settled in at Pietro’s desk with him to help edit some designs he was working on for a car company’s advertisements. Luckily for Steve, Natasha wasn’t there—she only came in part-time for her internship, and Steve was glad, because he felt certain she’d probably make fun of him, just like Sam, even though he was her boss.

He sent a text to Bucky at lunchtime, figuring that maybe it was a bit too eager, but frankly, Bucky must know how interested he was by now.

 **Steve:** How’s your day? Make any biochemistry discoveries?

Peter brought round sandwiches for Pietro and Steve as they worked through lunch. Steve didn’t force Pietro to do that, he’d wanted to, but Steve insisted he take a longer lunch the next day. Just because he was a workaholic, didn’t mean he expected his employees to be. His phone beeped around forty minutes later.

 **Bucky:** You really need to get Bruce to explain science stuff to you *laughing emoji* 😆

Steve grinned at his phone. He fired off a text to Bruce to see if he was free at some point in the next week. Not so he could explain science stuff, but so Bucky could meet him. Bucky had seemed very excited at the idea.

Bruce replied a few minutes later that he was free on Saturday afternoon.

 **Steve:** What are you doing on Saturday?

 **Bucky:** Busy in the evening, free in the day, why? Want to take me out Stevie?

 _Stevie._ Steve sighed.

 **Steve:** Well yes, but no. Wanted to see if you want to meet Bruce.

Steve’s phone started ringing a few moments later. He excused himself from Pietro and wandered to the corner of the office.

“Bruce Banner?” Bucky’s voice came down the line before Steve could even say hello. “You were serious about that?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?” Steve said, amused at Bucky’s joyous tone.

Bucky snorted down the phone at him. “Well, honestly Stevie, I thought it might be a line, to impress me.”

“And why would I want to impress you,” Steve teased, not missing the fact that he’d called him Stevie again.

“Cause you’re obviously trying to woo me, duh,” Bucky replied, teasingly.

Steve let out a breath. “Well, I guess you’re right about that. So do you want to meet him or not?”

“Hell yes I do. Can we see his lab?”

Steve’s heart danced at Bucky’s excitement. He’d helped cause that. “I don’t see why not. I’ll ask him and text you the details. I better get back to work now.” He would much rather keep talking to Bucky, just the sound of his voice made those damn butterflies set off in Steve’s stomach again, but Pietro was waiting.

“Sure, don’t want to get in trouble with the boss. See you on Saturday, bye Steve,” Bucky replied, sounding delighted.

Steve laughed and said goodbye before hanging up.

Sam wandered by and looked at Steve. “Dopey as fuck.”

 

****

 

Steve survived the next three days without seeing Bucky. They texted back and forth a little about their days and planned to meet at Bruce’s offices on Saturday afternoon.

Steve stood outside the building a little early and his face broke into a beaming smile when he saw Bucky heading towards him. Bucky gave him a little smile as he approached. Steve really wanted to kiss him, but he didn’t know if they were at that point yet, so he chose to follow Bucky’s lead.

“Hey, Steve,” Bucky said, stopping in front of him. He looked like he’d dressed up a little, in a black button down shirt with dark jeans and his hair neatly pulled back. He also looked particularly nervous as Steve said hello back.

“What’s that?” Steve asked, gesturing to the folder in Bucky’s hands.

Bucky looked self-conscious. “Oh, I, um, I brought my paper, just in case. I mean…I know he probably doesn’t want to read it, but I thought maybe…” Bucky trailed off, looking at the folder.

“Hey,” Steve put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder, in a hopefully comforting move, “I’m sure he’ll be happy to. Relax. Bruce is a sweetie, you’ll love him.”

“I know I will, but what if he doesn’t like me,” Bucky said softly.

Steve caught Bucky’s eyes. “Not possible, Buck,” he promised. He truly meant it. He didn’t really see how anyone could meet Bucky and not be drawn in by him.

Bucky stared at him for a moment and nodded. “Okay, let’s go in.”

Steve led him into the building, security letting them up once they had visitor passes and turned in their phones for safekeeping. Bruce’s labs had very high security. They let them head to Bruce’s floor alone though as security knew Steve, seeing as he’d visited Bruce enough times.

Bruce was waiting when the elevator opened. “Hey, guys,” he greeted Steve with a gentle clap on the shoulder. “Bucky, right?” he said, offering his hand out.

Bucky fumbled with the folder he’d been holding in both hands before shaking Bruce’s hand. “Hi, Dr Banner, it’s so nice to meet you,” he said, nerves evident in his voice.

Ugh, he was just the cutest thing, Steve thought.

“Just Bruce, please,” Bruce replied. “Steve tells me you’re a biochem major at NYU?”

Bucky looked over at Steve for a moment. “Uh, yeah, I’m in my last year right now, but I think I want to go straight into my masters afterwards.”

Steve was impressed. Bucky hadn’t told him that before.

“What’s your main focus?” Bruce asked, as he led them past the main reception area that was empty due to it being a Saturday.

“Biotechnology,” Bucky replied, seeming a little more at ease. He started telling Bruce a little more, but Steve didn’t really understand it. Bruce seemed interested though, asking him questions. Steve didn’t mind being the third wheel as Bruce led them into his lab.

“I’m afraid all the highly confidential stuff has been put away,” Bruce told them.

Steve wasn’t sure Bucky had even heard—he was too busy staring round the room in wonder. Bruce took that as his cue to give them a tour. Steve really tried to listen but it was like another language to him.

After about half an hour, Bucky seemed far more at ease, talking easily with Bruce. He even got the confidence to tell Bruce about his paper and offered him the folder. Bruce took it kindly and looked genuinely happy to read it. He even took Bucky’s contact details so he could discuss it with him after he’d read it. Bucky had looked positively thrilled.

When they finally said goodbye to Bruce at the elevator, Bucky paused for a moment. “Thanks so much for meeting me and showing me all this. It’s honestly been one of the best days and you’re just a real inspiration.”

Steve practically melted at his cuteness. Apparently Bruce did too, because he put his hand to his hair and scratched his head, all embarrassed. “Thanks, you too,” Bruce replied.

Steve snorted at him. Bruce wasn’t great with compliments.

Bruce looked flustered. “I mean…it was great to meet you,” he said, shaking Bucky’s hand again. “Hopefully I’ll be seeing you a lot more,” he added, with a pointed look at Steve.

Bucky just smiled. “I sure hope so,” he said, with a little look over at Steve.

Steve really hoped so too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter starts earning the rating...


	7. Steve and Bucky's first official date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have their first official date. Steve screws up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I clearly know nothing about biochemistry.

Steve saw Bucky more than he’d expected over the next week, but never for long enough. They met for coffee a couple of times, because they both had busy weeks and couldn’t seem to find much time, and Bucky stopped by Shield to meet Natasha for lunch and popped in on Steve. Steve loved him stopping by. Even though the lack of alone time meant a lack of kissing time, just seeing Bucky was making his life brighter. It was about time he took him out on a real date.

Steve made reservations at an upscale Mexican place for Friday night, once Bucky confirmed he was free, because Bucky had mentioned loving Mexican food in passing to Steve and Steve wanted to be as attentive as Bucky. He already remembered Steve’s coffee order and had brought it with him when he’d stopped by the office, making Steve a little astonished, and Steve was determined to treat Bucky just as well.

He wanted to go all out on their date, but he didn’t want to be cheesy. He considered getting flowers, but felt maybe that was too cliché. Steve wanted to get Bucky something that showed that he listened and really cared. He finally visited Bruce to get some ideas on Thursday evening, after spending far too long at work browsing the internet, without success.

Apparently Bruce had found Bucky’s paper really interesting and told Steve all about how smart Bucky was. Steve felt an odd sense of pride. He’d also been hearing about Bruce non-stop from Bucky. He was almost regretting having them meet, because honestly, Steve was getting a tiny bit jealous of how enamoured Bucky was with Bruce, even if it _was_ in a professional context.

“So what would be a good present for someone just as nerdy as you?” Steve asked Bruce as he followed him round the lab, having explained his predicament.

Bruce stopped and stood there frowning for a while, before he seemed to think of something. “I mean, I don’t know how romantic it is,” he said, as he headed to a cabinet, which he unlocked with a swipe card, “but he might like this,” Bruce said, taking out a box about the size of a paperback book and passing it to Steve.

Steve looked at it. It was one of Bruce’s own designs, some kind of equipment, but reading the box didn’t help him understand it. “Science stuff?” he mused at Bruce, holding the box up.

“It’s for bioch…” He stopped, looking at Steve’s face which was probably glazing over. “It’s pretty cool, trust me. He can use it in his lab work.”

Steve trusted Bruce. “Alright, how much?”

Bruce waved his hand. “As if I’d let you pay for something I designed.”

Steve looked at him, bemused. “I make you pay for your design work.”

Bruce smiled at him and tilted his head. “Yeah, what sort of friend are you?”

Steve was massively grateful to Bruce and Tony. They’d both taken Shield on as the graphic design company for their businesses, and helped make Shield a success, putting them on the map. Steve probably would have done some of it for free, at least initially, but neither of them would hear of it.

“Come on, name your price,” Steve insisted. “I can’t just give him a free present.”

“Alright, alright, just give me a hundred, that’ll cover it.”

Steve got out his wallet. “You sure?” he asked, passing Bruce the money. He knew Bruce was probably giving him a bit of a discount on it.

“Yeah. Let me know if he likes it,” Bruce said.

 

****

 

Steve sat nervously in the restaurant, waiting for Bucky to arrive. It was stupid to be nervous, he told himself, they already seemed to be sort of dating, but this was an official first date and Steve hadn’t had one of those in years.

Bucky had decided to meet him at the restaurant, even though Steve had really wanted to send a car to get him, but Bucky had insisted it was fine. When the maître-d’ brought Bucky to the table, Steve was sort of stunned into silence. He’d cut his hair. It was still longish, but not long enough to be tied up anymore. Steve managed to stumble to his feet and give Bucky a hug, his hand moving of its own accord to brush through the back of Bucky’s hair.

“You cut your hair,” he murmured as he pulled away.

Bucky smiled and ran his hand through it. “Oh, yeah, it was badly needed. Do you like it?”

Steve loved his hair before, but fucking hell, this cut somehow showed off his ridiculous jawline even more and god did he look sexy and Steve hadn’t even really looked at what he was wearing until then.

Bucky had dressed up for the date. He looked far too handsome in his all black suit—Steve could barely deal with it. “It looks great, you look great,” he replied, sitting down as Bucky did.

“So do you,” Bucky said, looking Steve over. He’d also dressed up in one of his favourite blue suits, one he saved for special occasions and never wore to the office.

They sat there, with the flickering light from the candle on the table bathing Bucky in a soft warm glow. Steve really couldn’t take his eyes off him—he looked so stunning. They fell into easy conversation and it just felt right to Steve. He never got bored of learning more about Bucky.

After their plates had been taken away, Steve decided it was present time. He hadn’t wrapped it, not wanting to make it too big of a deal, but he’d placed it in a little gift bag, that he’d hidden under the table before Bucky had met him inside. He reached down and placed it in front of Bucky.

“So, I got you something,” Steve said as Bucky looked a little happily surprised.

“What’s this for?” he asked Steve, pulling the bag towards himself.

“Well, you brought me coffee the other day, so I wanted to do something too,” Steve explained. “I didn’t know if you were a flowers kind of guy so I thought something nerdy might be better.”

Bucky gave him a slightly incredulous smile and pulled the box from the bag. He stared down at it, his face slowly going from smiling to a little frowny, as he looked at the present.

Steve panicked. Was it a shit gift? Did Bucky hate it?

Bucky didn’t say anything for a moment and Steve was about to jump in with apologies.

“Thanks, Steve,” Bucky said, placing the box back into the bag.

Steve felt worried. The atmosphere at the table had changed. “Is it okay? Do you like it?” he asked.

Bucky didn’t look up at him. “Yeah, thanks, it’s really nice of you. Do you think we could get the bill?”

Steve recoiled a little. He must have fucked up. Bucky had never been cold with him like this before. He wanted to ask, but Bucky wouldn’t look at him and just seemed to want to get the hell out of there. So Steve just asked for the bill and paid it quickly, following Bucky out of the restaurant.

The restaurant was only ten minutes walk from Steve’s place. He’d sort of chosen it in the hope that Bucky might come back and stay with him.

“Did you want to come back to mine for a bit?” Steve asked hesitantly. He was almost sure the answer was no, based on how silent Bucky was being, so he was surprised when Bucky agreed and started walking quickly in that direction.

Steve tried to break the ice, talking about how Natasha was doing at Shield as they walked, but other then a few ‘hmms’ and grunts, he didn’t get anything out of Bucky.

By the time Steve unlocked the door to his place, he was sweating. God, what the hell had he done? This had to be a record in fucking up quickly. He’d only known Bucky for a little over a month and a half.

Bucky passed by him into the living room while Steve closed the door. Steve followed after him, intending to ask what was wrong and apologise for it.

“Steve, what the hell is this?” Bucky said, holding the bag up at him as he entered the room. He looked exasperated.

Steve froze in shock. “I, umm, have literally no idea,” he answered honestly. Had Bruce given him something offensive somehow? It didn’t sound like Bruce.

Bucky sighed. “Look Steve, I know that money apparently means nothing to you, god knows you must have a lot of it, but this is ridiculous. You can’t give me presents like this.” His eyes were blazing at Steve. Steve would have been turned on by them if he wasn’t so panicked.

A hundred dollars didn’t seem like a lot to Steve for a nice gift. Maybe it was though, maybe he was being thoughtless, making Bucky feel like he was trying to buy his affection or something. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he told Bucky.

Bucky let out an incredulous laugh. “Uncomfortable? You didn’t think I’d be uncomfortable with a seven grand gift?”

Steve blinked owlishly. “A seven what now?”

“You heard me,” Bucky said accusingly.

Oh. _Oh_ , that was bad. That was why he was mad. Crap, Steve would be mad too if he were Bucky. “Bruce gave it to me for a hundred,” he squeaked out. “He said that would cover it!”

Bucky stared at Steve as if deciding if he should believe him. His face softened a fraction. “Are you serious?”

Steve nodded. “I don’t even know what it does, but he said you’d like it. I just thought it was a little gift.”

Bucky let out a breath, that sounded like all the tension was leaving his body. “Jesus, Steve. You’re kinda ridiculous,” he said, setting the bag down on the table.

“I’m going to kill Bruce,” Steve muttered, mostly to himself. He approached Bucky slowly. “I’m really sorry, Buck.” He tentatively reached out for Bucky’s hand.

Bucky let him take it and looked up at him with an exasperated smile. “You know, Steve, a hundred dollars for a gift is too much too,” he warned him.

Steve nodded. “Okay, noted.” Bucky looked more relaxed so Steve took a chance. “Though really, money should be looked at comparatively, like a hundred is not really the same to different people.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Steve,” he mumbled, shoving his lips against Steve’s, effectively making him shut up.

The kiss turned heated quickly. Steve hadn’t been alone with Bucky in too long and the relief that he hadn’t fucked this up was too great. He grasped Bucky’s face in both hands, crushing their mouths together, as they tasted each other and Bucky whimpered against his mouth.

Steve pressed his hips into Bucky’s, earning him a gasp at the friction as they rubbed together. Steve was fucking dying when he felt Bucky hard against him.

Steve broke this kiss for a moment. “Can I make this up to you?” he asked Bucky, his voice low and a little wrecked.

Bucky gasped in air. “What did you have in mind?”

Steve kissed him again. “Well, let me know if this is too much too soon, but I’d really, really like to blow you,” Steve finally said.

Bucky’s pupils dilated. “Fuck, Steve.”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Steve continued, not wanting Bucky to feel like he was being pushed. “Just let me make this up to you.” He leant in and kissed Bucky’s neck, gaining another gasp from him and then a moan as he travelled down, peppering his neck with kisses.

“Fuck, yes, make it up to me,” Bucky stuttered out.

Steve smiled into Bucky’s neck and grabbed Bucky’s hand, leading him to the bedroom.

He pulled him over to stand at the edge of the bed, removing Bucky’s suit jacket for him. “Can I?” he asked, fingers pulling at Bucky’s collar.

Bucky nodded and Steve started unbuttoning, revealing inch after inch of Bucky’s torso. He followed the movement down with his mouth, pressing kisses to Bucky’s chest, until he was on his knees on the floor.

Bucky made a little choked noise and Steve looked up to see Bucky staring down at him, eyes wide, the gray-blue barely visible with how open his pupils had blown. He looked incredible.

Steve reached for Bucky’s pants, undoing the button and hovering over the zipper, with a look up at Bucky, until he received a nod, and he eased the zipper down, his hand grazing against Bucky’s hard length through his clothes, causing Bucky’s hips to jerk a little.

He let the pants drop down, revealing Bucky hard and tenting his black boxers. Steve didn’t think he’d ever been this turned on in his life. His own erection was throbbing, caged inside his pants.

He waited for another nod from Bucky and then eased the boxers down, finally releasing Bucky’s cock.

Steve licked his lips as he stared. Fucking hell, Bucky’s cock was beautiful. How could he even be surprised, everything about Bucky was beautiful. He looked as hard as Steve felt, a perfect length, just a little more than average maybe, and perfect in girth too. The head of his cock was leaking already. Steve was dying to wrap his mouth around it.

“Steve…” Bucky said his name as a little moan and Steve realised he’d just been staring.

He remembered wondering what it would sound like to have Bucky moan his name. Reality far outdid his fantasies. “What’s wrong, Buck?” Steve teased, looking up at him. “You need me to touch you?”

Bucky groaned at him. “Yes,” he hissed out.

Steve couldn’t not give Bucky what he wanted. He reached out and palmed down Bucky’s length, biting back his own groan at the beautiful softness of his skin, causing Bucky’s cock to jerk and Bucky to whimper. Fuck, Steve wanted to hear that noise for the rest of his life.

Steve wrapped his hand round the base of Bucky’s cock. Maybe another time he’d tease Bucky, take his time, make Bucky beg a little for him, but not this time. Steve licked up the length slowly, making Bucky shudder, and swirled his tongue round the head, making Bucky let out a litany of swears. God, Bucky even tasted sweet. Steve didn’t know how that was possible, because with his other experiences with men, none of them had ever tasted like this. Steve could do this all day.

He swirled his tongue around the head of Bucky’s cock once more, before taking him fully into his mouth and easing down the length, getting Bucky’s dick nice and wet, so he could slide his lips down easily. He suctioned in his cheeks as he reached his hand near the base and pulled back up, before doing the same thing again. His other hand found its way to Bucky’s balls, cupping them lightly, feeling their weight, earning him more delicious noises out of Bucky’s mouth.

Bucky’s hips started moving a little, in time with Steve swallowing him down. Steve could tell he was trying hard to keep from moving and Steve appreciated that. Face fucking was definitely something to be discussed, not something to surprise someone with. When Bucky’s legs started to quake, Steve pulled off his cock, his mouth making a little ‘pop’ sound as he did.

“Baby, sit on the bed,” he told Bucky. He didn’t even really register that he’d just called Bucky “baby”.

Bucky did as he said, sinking onto the edge of the bed. Steve moved forward to kneel between his legs, running his hand up and down Bucky’s cock, jerking him off for moment, before licking his way back up to the top and swallowing him down again, one hand at the base, twisting a little, and another on Bucky’s thigh, feeling the lean muscles there. He kept sucking Bucky down, revelling in the weight of his cock against his tongue, and looked up at Bucky. His face looked wrecked, his eyes closed, lost in feeling, while he leant back on his hands.

When Steve started moving a little faster, Bucky started that little whimpering noise again.

“Steve, I’m close…” Bucky warned him breathlessly.

Steve sucked harder, humming approval around Bucky’s cock, making it jerk in his mouth. He set a slightly faster, steady pace, moaning a little around Bucky’s cock.

“Oh god…” Bucky cried out a little groan that was music to Steve’s ears.

Steve swirled his tongue round the head again, suctioning a little harder as he worked down the length again and Bucky stiffened. Steve looked up at him at the sound of a stifled gasp, as Bucky bit down on his lip, his dick jerking as he came in Steve’s mouth. Steve swallowed it all down happily, sucking gently still, easing up before pulling off when he could tell that Bucky had become too sensitive.

Steve watched as Bucky dropped his body back onto the bed, panting for air. Bucky looked wrecked. Steve was so turned on by the idea that he’d caused that, it was practically painful.

Bucky fluttered his eyes open after a few moments. “Jesus, Steve…”

Steve pulled himself up from the floor and flopped down next to Bucky. “You are so beautiful, baby,” Steve choked out roughly, his lips a little swollen from being wrapped round Bucky.

“That was fucking incredible,” Bucky said, his voice gravelly. He groaned and reached down to pull up his pants.

Steve reached down to link the fingers of his right hand with Bucky’s left once he flopped back down. “Do you forgive me?”

“God, yes,” Bucky choked out. “But maybe you should do dumb stuff like that more often, so you have to make it up to me again.”

“Oh, really,” Steve chuckled, rolling to his side to nuzzle into Bucky’s neck.

Bucky giggled. “That tickles, Stevie!” he yelped. Steve kept doing it until Bucky grabbed him and crushed their lips together to stop him.

They lay there lazily making out until Steve’s situation got too uncomfortable and he had to retreat to the bathroom to take care of himself—not that he told Bucky that.

When he returned, Bucky was asleep. He looked so peaceful that Steve didn’t want to wake him, but they hadn’t discussed if Bucky was staying over and Steve didn’t want Clint worrying, if he was expecting Bucky home.

“Bucky,” he said softly, gently nudging his shoulder.

“Mmmphm,” Bucky mumbled, snuggling into the bed.

Ugh, Steve knew he probably looked like the heart-eye emoji, Bucky was too adorable for words. He tried again.

Bucky moaned and opened his eyes ever so slightly.

“You okay to stay over?” Steve asked him.

“Mmmhmm,” Bucky gave a little nod, shutting his eyes again.

“Do you need to tell Clint?” Steve asked before Bucky could drift off again.

“He knows,” Bucky murmured.

Steve smiled. Bucky was staying. “Come on, let’s get these clothes off you,” he said, lifting Bucky’s arm to help drag his unbuttoned shirt off.

“Already did that…” Bucky mumbled into the bed.

Steve chuckled and managed to get Bucky’s pants off as well, leaving him in just his boxers. He went over and hung up Bucky’s suit in his closet, though it was far too rumpled to really matter now, and undressed himself too, before wandering back over in his boxers.

“Buck, you want to get under the covers?” Bucky was lying on top of them, cuddling part of them to his chest.

“Mmmnngh,” Bucky made a little noise that sounded a bit like a protest, but then rolled so Steve could pull the covers from under him a bit easier and shuffled his way up to a pillow.

Steve climbed into bed, pulling the covers up over Bucky’s shoulders. “Night, baby,” he whispered, planting a kiss on Bucky’s forehead.

Bucky made a small noise that sounded like happiness in return, before drifting further off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty nervous about this chapter, hope it's alright.


	8. Bucky meets the friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky meets Steve's friends. That's pretty much it.

Steve woke up spooning Bucky. He didn’t remember doing that in the night, but well done to his unconscious body, he thought. Bucky’s ass was pressed against his morning wood, but it didn’t seem to have woken him. Steve moved his hips back carefully, feeling a little guilty now. He had meant what he’d said to Bucky last night—he wasn’t expecting anything in return.

He gently lifted his arm away and shifted backwards until he could climb out of bed and headed to the bathroom, willing himself to calm down, forcing himself to think of anything but last night and Bucky mostly naked and his lips stretched round him and…

“Argh.” Steve made a noise of frustration at his own brain.

Once he finally calmed down, he headed back to the bedroom and grabbed his phone, remembering that he had some yelling to do. He looked at Bucky, lying there looking all cosy. His hair was all messed up and most of his face was covered by the bedcovers. Steve thought about climbing back in, but he’d do anything to not wake Bucky—he looked so peaceful—so Steve eventually tore himself away.

In the living room, Steve grabbed the blanket he left on his sofa and wrapped it round himself, heading out to the terrace. It was already after nine, but there was a little chill in the air. Steve sat on the outside sofa and put his feet up to keep them a little warmer. He called Bruce’s number, knowing he was an early riser.

“Hey, Steve, how’s it going?” Bruce answered after the fourth ring.

“Seven grand, Bruce? Seven. Grand. Are you serious?” Steve hissed at him.

“Umm what?” Bruce replied, as Steve heard some clattering in the background.

Steve let out an angry huff. “That thing you gave me costs seven grand!”

Bruce went silent for a moment. “Okay, technically it retails for near that, but it costs way less to produce.”

“Are you kidding me?” Steve said, anger seeping into his tone. “Do you know how close I came to screwing everything up with Bucky because of this?”

“He got mad?” Bruce asked, seeming to already know the answer.

“Of course he got mad. No normal person gives a gift that expensive to someone on their first real date. It’s like I was trying to buy him!” Steve said harshly.

“Tony flew Pepper to Paris for their first date,” Bruce commented.

Steve had to regulate his breathing to keep from yelling. “Tony is Tony and it’s not at all the same thing!”

Bruce sighed. “Look, I really wasn’t trying to ruin anything, but at least now you know his reaction and it’s good, right?”

Steve puzzled over that one for a minute. “What do you mean it’s good?” He paused for a moment, before realisation overtook him. “Were you…were you _testing_ him?” Steve said, absolutely appalled.

“Look, don’t be mad, okay, but me and Tony were just a little worried, you know. We wanted to make sure he’s interested for the right reasons…” Bruce trailed off, sounding a little ashamed.

Steve was almost sure there was actual steam coming out of his ears.

“It’s the age difference, you know, and the different…circumstances,” Bruce continued. “It was more Tony than me, I swear, but when you asked for a gift, I sort of saw an opportunity—”

Steve hung up the phone. He was so angry, he couldn’t even speak right then. His phone started ringing a moment later. He ignored it. Then he heard the apartment line going and rushed indoors to pick it up, leaving the blanket behind, before the noise woke Bucky.

“What?” he hissed down the phone, unable to yell at the volume he would have preferred.

“We were just looking out for you, Cap,” Tony’s voice came down the phone.

“You were just interfering in my relationship, when no one asked you to!” Steve said back angrily. “I can take care of myself.” In the back of his mind he wondered why he was surprised—Tony had joked about running background checks on previous dates of Steve’s and Steve had never been certain it was a joke and now thought that it definitely wasn’t.

“It’s a relationship now?” Tony asked.

Steve sighed, rubbing his hand over his forehead. “I don’t know…whatever it is, you almost ruined it!”

Tony didn’t sound bothered by his anger. “If it got ruined because of that then he would have been unreasonable. And if he’d taken the gift, we would have been right. So be mad at us, but we only did it because we care. I don’t want you getting screwed over.”

Steve raised his voice a little. “It’s none of your business in the first place, alright? I don’t care if you think you did it out of friendship. I didn’t ask you to,” he said emphasising the last part as much as he could. He let out another angry huff and hung up the phone.

“Steve, you okay?” Bucky’s voice made Steve turn round to see him entering the living room. He’d apparently found the same shirt and pyjama pants from when he’d stayed before because he was now wearing them, along with a worried expression on his face.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Steve apologised, moving towards Bucky.

Bucky shook his head, rubbing at one of his eyes a little. “Were you yelling at someone?”

Steve reached him and pulled him into a hug without thinking. “No, don’t worry about it,” he murmured into Bucky’s hair.

Bucky looked at him doubtfully as he pulled away, his hands lightly grazing Steve’s back and sides. “Okay…” he said, sounding unsure. “Shall I make some coffee?” he asked.

Ugh, how could anyone doubt his sweet, beautiful Bucky? He was standing there looking like a literal angel to Steve and somehow all his anger was melting away just by being near him.

“I’ll get it,” Steve told Bucky, moving into the kitchen and turning on the tap.

Bucky slid into a chair at the counter opposite.

“Are you hungry?” Steve asked him. “Do you want pancakes? I’m making pancakes,” Steve decided as he put the coffee on and started pulling out ingredients that he’d bought a few days before, when he’d finally done a long overdue grocery shop.

“Sure,” Bucky said easily, while Steve clattered around the kitchen. Steve passed him his coffee when it was ready.

Bucky wrapped his hands around the hot mug. “Umm…about last night…” he started.

Steve looked over at him, pausing while measuring flour, slightly worried at Bucky’s tone.

Bucky looked nervous. “I, um, I didn’t really mean for us to go that far so soon,” he admitted. “I mean, I don’t regret it, not at all, I promise,” he added quickly and Steve felt happier, “I just…I thought maybe I should reiterate that I’m a little bit—”

“It’s okay,” Steve cut him off with a smile. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do or don’t feel ready for,” Steve said, trying to reassure him. He placed the bag of flour down and moved round to stand next to Bucky, reaching for his face so he could lean down and kiss him gently.

“How about I just take my lead from you?” Steve suggested when he pulled away.

Bucky looked uncertain. “You’d be okay with that?”

“Of course,” Steve said honestly. “I mean, yesterday I asked and you said yes—”

“And I wanted to, believe me, I wanted to,” Bucky cut in. “It was amazing.”

“—but I know it doesn’t mean we have to do that again, or progress to anything else or something, if you’re worried about that?” Steve continued. He was suddenly getting the feeling that someone had probably treated Bucky that way in the past and it was making him feel a little sick.

Bucky smiled tentatively at him. “Are you even real?”

Steve smiled warmly at him. “Right back at you.” He stepped back round to start on the pancake mixture again.

Bucky slid from his chair while Steve mixed ingredients together, and Steve followed Bucky with his eyes as Bucky walked round to him and slotted himself up against Steve’s back, hugging him from behind. Steve leant his head back at the incredibly sweet action.

“Can I go shower?” Bucky asked.

“Of course, you don’t have to ask,” Steve said, as Bucky released him. “I’ll get everything ready for when you’re done.”

Bucky looked at him with another unbelieving smile as he picked up his cup of coffee to take it with him. “Thanks, Stevie,” he said, as he wandered out, leaving Steve glowing with affection.

Steve was going to bitch-slap Bruce and Tony next time he saw them.

 

****

 

Steve spent the rest of the morning completely blissed out with Bucky. They had pancakes together and Bucky borrowed more of his clothes, which made Steve stupidly happy, and they watched some more of the superhero show Bucky liked. Well, Bucky tried to watch it—Steve tried to distract him with lots of kisses and succeeded a lot.

It made Steve’s heart ache when Bucky had to leave around noon, but he managed to not grab onto Bucky’s leg and not let him go. Bucky had a shift at the bookstore later and needed to go home first and Steve could control himself. Okay, so he may have pulled Bucky in for a slightly too long goodbye kiss, but he did let him leave eventually.

He wandered round his apartment, feeling a little lost after Bucky had left and noticed Bucky had forgotten to take his suit with him, so Steve gathered that up with some of his things and arranged for it to be picked up and cleaned. In the living room, his eyes fell on the gift bag containing Bruce’s stupid test. He wasn’t sure what to do with that. He sort of wanted to throw it out, but that would be a waste. Maybe he could throw it _at_ Bruce. He settled for throwing it into a cupboard for now.

His phone rang and he felt himself getting a little angry again until he looked and saw it was Wanda calling.

“Hey, Wanda,” he picked up, while walking over to the kitchen.

“Steve, are you okay?” Wanda asked, her voice worried.

He sighed. Obviously she’d heard. “I’m fine.”

“Want to meet me at the park for a run?” she offered.

Steve brightened a little. That did sound like a good idea and it looked pretty nice out. He agreed and arranged to meet her in an hour, looking forward to running out some of his frustrations.

 

****

 

Steve ran with Wanda for forty minutes before they came to a stop for a rest, climbing onto some of the rocks to sit overlooking the lake. Steve loved running. It took him out of his own head and he loved running in Central Park especially. Maybe one day he’d move uptown so he could be nearer to it.

“So, everything is okay?” Wanda asked as she sat next to him, catching her breath.

She hadn’t pushed him to talk before, which was one of the many reasons Steve liked her. He also liked how natural and easy it was to open up to her.

“Yeah, things with Bucky are good,” he replied. Good was an understatement. Great, incredible, blinding, awesome—those words didn’t really cover it either. Steve had never felt like this before.

“I talked to Tony,” she admitted. “What he and Bruce did was so wrong, I’m really mad at them too,” she promised him.

Steve took a sip from his water bottle. “Look, I know why they are like that,” he sighed. Tony and Bruce were multi-millionaires, probably billionaires, he’d never asked, but just because they were extra cautious around people, didn’t mean Steve had to be. Okay, sure, he was doing well for himself, but nowhere near on their level and besides, they didn’t know Bucky like he did.

“They just worry,” Wanda commented, retying her hair into a ponytail.

Steve nodded. He knew that was true. “But they don’t know Bucky. If they did, they’d know he’s nothing like that. He’s completely self-sufficient, he doesn’t even like when I pay for his dinner.”

“Well, we haven’t had the chance to really meet him yet. Maybe we should all get together so they can see for themselves?” Wanda suggested.

Steve let out a laugh. “You want me to throw Bucky to the lions?”

Wanda smiled. “It sounds like you’re serious about him, so if you are then surely we’ll need to meet him at some point? I promise to be welcoming and protect him from the others.”

Steve considered it for a moment. He _did_ want Bucky to meet his friends. Maybe he could get Bucky to invite Natasha as well, so he wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. He looked over at Wanda. “Okay, maybe you’re right. Do you want to arrange it, maybe game night or something?” he suggested.

Wanda nodded with a smile and got to her feet.

Steve followed her lead. “I’ll see when Bucky’s free and if he wants to meet you all. But I’m still mad at Bruce and Tony and I don’t want Bucky to know what they did,” he warned.

Wanda held her hands up. “I will ensure they are on best behaviour, promise.” She paused and looked at him warmly. “I’m really excited to meet him. You seem really happy, Steve, I’m so glad.”

Steve blushed a little. “I am.” He poked her in the arm. “Think you’ve got another run in you?”

“Oh yeah, bring it on,” Wanda beamed, before starting off down the rocks, Steve following behind.

 

****

 

“Are you sure about this?” Steve asked Bucky as they stood outside of Tony’s building. It had taken a little while to arrange, but Wanda had finally contacted him with a day for game night at Tony’s. “Cause we can go, we don’t have to go in,” Steve continued.

Bucky looked at him, looking a little bemused. “Don’t you want me to meet your friends?”

“Of course I do, I just…” Steve ran a hand through his hair, “they’re probably going to tell you all kinds of embarrassing things about me and they’ll probably give you the third degree.”

Bucky laughed. “Well, I’ll look forward to one of those.”

Steve still felt worried. Bucky reached over and took his hand. “It’ll be fine,” he said, in a softer voice, “but if you really want, we can go.”

Steve looked down at his hand, a little amazed at how just that small touch somehow calmed him down. “No, no, it’s fine,” he replied, squeezing Bucky’s hand.

“James!” Natasha’s voice came from down the street as Steve turned to see her heading towards them. She’d agreed to come along as well, so Steve hoped that having her there would help it feel less like an inquisition for Bucky.

“Hi,” she said as she reached them, smiling widely with a brief glance down at their hands. She hugged Bucky as he let go of Steve’s hand then stood in front of Steve for a moment. “Do we hug?” she asked him outright.

“I, um, I think boss Steve and intern Natasha don’t, but maybe we do?” Steve replied.

She laughed and pulled him into a quick hug. “Alright then.” She glanced over at Bucky. “Is he panicking?” she asked Steve.

Steve shook his head. “More like the other way round.”

Natasha frowned at him. “Why? Are your friends horrible?”

“No, just…let’s go in,” Steve said, taking a deep breath.

He led them inside, both Bucky and Natasha looking a little awed by the building, before security let them through and they went up in the elevator to the penthouse.

Thor was the first to greet them, as he was walking past the elevator when it opened. “Steven!” he exclaimed, gathering Steve into a giant hug. Even Steve felt a little crushed under Thor’s massive arms.

Thor pulled away and focused on Bucky. “You must be Steve’s Bucky,” he exclaimed loudly, making Bucky squeak in surprise as he gathered him into a hug as well.

“Nice to meet you,” Bucky said, a little breathless once Thor let go of him.

“And you’re Natasha, I believe?” Thor asked, extending his hand to her.

“That’s me,” she replied, looking a little bemused when Thor kissed the back of her hand.

“A pleasure to meet you. Can I get you all drinks?” he asked.

Steve was glad Thor was the first one they met. He was always so friendly and it was always purely genuine.

“Come, I’ll lead you to the drinks and introduce you as we go,” Thor decided, draping one arm over Bucky’s shoulders and another over Natasha’s.

Bucky gave Steve a slightly concerned look, and Steve shrugged back. He had tried to warn him. Steve followed along with them as Thor led them further into the penthouse, asking what drinks they wanted as they went.

Steve felt another burst of panic as he looked round the room. Usually on game night, or any night really, there were always a few people who couldn’t make it, but somehow it seemed literally all of them had managed an appearance this time. Wanda and Pepper were on one of the sofas chatting, Sam and Pietro were at the pool table with Rhodey and Scott, while Bruce and Tony were over by the drinks together.

Sam headed over as he noticed them enter, while Steve was sure he felt everyone else’s eyes on them. “Hey, Natasha,” Sam greeted her as Thor released her and Bucky. “Hey, Bucky.” Steve had introduced Bucky at the office as well as at the bar, so at least Sam was a little more familiar than the others.

Pietro followed over too, to greet his intern and introduce himself to Bucky, while Thor headed over to Tony and Bruce to get drinks. Steve stood there, trying not to notice the looks Bruce and Tony were giving him. He wasn’t ready to talk to them.

Thor carried three drinks over to the main living area and they followed. He introduced Wanda and Pepper to them, and they both got up and gave Bucky and Natasha hugs, Wanda giving Bucky a warm smile before directing it at Steve as well. Steve pointed over at Scott and Rhodey who waved over at them, seemingly too focused on their game to come over.

They settled down on one of the sofas, Steve on Bucky’s left and Natasha to his right, with Thor next to her and Wanda and Pepper settling back down on the opposite sofa, as they started to make small talk, with Wanda leading the conversation, for which Steve was very grateful.

Steve didn’t bother to reintroduce Tony and Bruce, so Tony took it upon himself to wander over and stick his hand out at Bucky, who shook it, looking a little nervous. “Nice to see you again, Buckaroo,” Tony said, while Bruce slinked over and perched himself on the arm of the sofa across from them.

“You too, Mr Stark,” Bucky replied, not even commenting on the nickname Tony gave him. “Thanks for having us over.” He nodded a greeting in Bruce’s direction.

Tony shook Natasha’s hand as well. “Pleased to have you here. We’ve heard so much about you, Steve never shuts up,” he said, but directing this at Bucky.

Steve exhaled quietly. Could Tony never just shut up?

“Please, call him Tony, by the way,” Pepper spoke up.

“Right, call me whatever you like,” Tony agreed. “I have to ask you something very important though,” he continued.

Steve looked at him, trying to see where this was going and about ready to pounce on him and shut him up physically if he had to.

Bucky looked worried again. “Okay?”

Tony looked at him with a serious expression. “Are you any good at laser tag?” he asked.

Steve let out the breath he’d been holding. Bucky’s face changed from worried to slightly confused. “I’m alright, I guess?”

“Excellent. Bucket’s on my team!” he exclaimed.

“Tony,” Pepper scolded him lightly at the terrible nickname use.

Bucky turned his head towards Steve. “We’re playing laser tag?” he questioned, surprise on his face.

Steve leaned in a little. “I probably should have mentioned that game night at Tony’s is not like normal game nights.”

“Thor, come help me get the stuff,” Tony requested.

“They are like little kids,” Wanda said with a sigh, looking over at Bucky and Natasha.

“Like you won’t be playing,” Pietro tittered at his sister.

Wanda snorted back at him. “Well, someone has to show them how it’s done.”

“Let’s choose teams,” Pepper suggested. “Tony and Steve as team leaders?”

Steve and Tony were always team leaders, probably because they were the ones who really got into it. They’d had more than one game of laser tag that had ended in a real argument.

“I get Buck-Buck, remember,” Tony’s voice came from around the corner as he and Thor clattered in with two carts worth of vests and guns.

Steve frowned. Bucky just looked bemused and shrugged at Steve. “Alright,” Steve allowed. “I’ll take Natasha,” he said, while Natasha smiled at him.

Tony ended up with Bucky, Thor, Sam, Pietro and Wanda and Steve got Natasha, Pepper, Rhodey, Scott and Bruce. Steve purposely didn’t choose Sam, Thor or Wanda, hoping they’d look after Bucky.

“Rules are…there are no rules,” Tony said dramatically as everyone got suited up. “We play on the whole floor, nowhere is off limits. Jarvis will keep score.”

“Who’s Jarvis?” Bucky whispered to Steve.

“His AI,” Steve replied, looking up at the ceiling. “You’ll see.”

“Alright, Team Iron Man, let’s gather elsewhere,” Tony said to them.

“Team Iron Man?” Bucky questioned in a whisper to Steve.

Steve shook his head. “Don’t ask.”

“Team Cap, see you soon…” Tony said with a fake menacing tone. “Jarvis, put the laser lights on,” he requested and they were plunged into semi-darkness.

Bucky looked at Steve for a moment—they were sitting close enough that he could still see his face. “I’m going to shoot you, Steve,” he promised.

Steve smirked at him. “We’ll see.”

 

****

 

As it turned out, Bucky was really good at laser tag. It was like he’d been an assassin in a former life. He shot half of Steve’s team without them even realising he was there in the first round. By the time the third round had started, Steve was pretty sure Bucky was the MVP for Team Iron Man.

Steve was hidden behind a door in the kitchen, with Natasha crouching behind a cabinet to his right. Only Tony and Bucky were left on the other team. He heard a noise in the dark and glanced over at Natasha, pointing over to the other door. They’d become pretty good at working together, reading each other’s hand signals. As a figure approached, Natasha launched herself at the person legs, knocking them to the floor as Steve fired into their chest, happily realising it was Tony.

“Goddammit,” Tony complained as his vest went off.

“Like you didn’t deserve it,” Steve gloated, looking down at him, before his vest went off as he was hit in the back. “What the…?” he turned to see Bucky behind him, having shot him. He wasn’t sure where the hell he’d even come from.

Steve clutched his chest dramatically. “Bucky….how could you…” He collapsed to the floor next to Tony, who kicked him.

Bucky smirked at him, as Natasha suddenly sprang up and aimed at him. “Drop it, Nat,” Bucky warned.

“Avenge me!” Steve yelled with a giggle as he watched them.

Steve and Tony watched as they circled each other and then both fired on each other, with Natasha getting the upper hand, and hitting Bucky before he got her.

“Ah come on,” Bucky complained as the lights went back on.

“Team Cap wins round three,” Jarvis announced from the ceiling.

“Nat’s on my team next time,” Tony grumbled as Steve helped pull him off the floor.

 

****

 

Steve was far happier with the evening than he’d thought he’d be as he walked with Natasha and Bucky to the nearest subway. It turned out laser tag had been a great icebreaker and the rest of the evening had gone well, with his friends being especially nice to Bucky and seemingly knowing how to not overwhelm him. They didn’t even tell too many embarrassing stories about Steve, unless they did it when Steve wasn’t near Bucky and he really hoped they hadn’t.

Steve had been especially thrilled with how amazing Bucky was to everyone. He’d spent time talking with everyone, though he seemed especially comfortable with Bruce and Thor, and Steve had felt himself feeling stupidly sappy at how well Bucky fit in with his friends. If he was honest with himself, he’d been a little worried, particularly due to the age difference, but of course Bucky was amazing and Steve’s friends were on best behaviour and he’d had nothing to worry about.

Natasha was raving about his friends as well, talking animatedly about them as they walked. She seemed to particularly hit it off with Wanda as they shared a surprising interest in conspiracy theories.

She hugged Steve when they reached the subway and thanked him for inviting her. “I’ve got to load up my Metro card, I’ll just be a minute,” she said, leaving Steve and Bucky alone for a moment.

Steve wrapped his arms round Bucky’s waist. “So, that didn’t go so bad then?”

Bucky smiled and wrapped his arms around Steve as well. “Definitely the weirdest meet the friends I’ve had, but it was great. They were all so nice.”

“I’m glad.” Steve wasn’t even so mad at Tony and Bruce anymore.

“Sam did give me the shovel talk though,” Bucky smirked.

“The what?” Steve frowned at him.

“You know,” Bucky half smiled. “He told me what a big heart you have and how it means you get hurt sometimes and then he warned me if I hurt you that he’ll have to kill me. I mean, he was nice about it, said he would really prefer not to…” Bucky laughed.

“Oh god.” Steve let go of him, embarrassed.

Bucky smiled at his expression. “Hey, it’s sweet. I’m sure Nat might corner you at some point and do the same.”

Right. Nat. She’d be back in a minute. Steve had more important things to do then worry about Sam’s shovel speech right now. He leaned in and kissed Bucky, deepening it a little more than he meant to when Bucky pulled him closer and getting a little more carried away then he meant to.

A cough interrupted them. Steve turned his head along with Bucky to see Natasha standing looking at them with a smile on her face. “You guys are so sickening,” she smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to take a moment to thank everyone for reading and for subscribing and leaving kudos, it's really lovely of you all.
> 
> Special shout out to people who have taken the time to leave comments and especially repeat commenters, I love hearing what you think :D
> 
> Next chapter is full of domestic fluff and is my fave so far and it's longer than usual too :D


	9. Clint defines the relationship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Termites as a plot device. Domestic bliss ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Clint.

Nat did corner him only a week later. She waited until it was after work hours for her, so she could be “friend Natasha” instead of “intern Natasha” as she told Steve before she shut the door to Steve’s office.

“So, you haven’t seen Bucky all week,” she started.

Steve was feeling particularly grouchy due to that fact, but Bucky had to study for a test and Steve didn’t want to distract him.

“You haven’t got bored of him, have you?” Natasha asked frankly.

“What?” Steve’s eyes widened. “Of course not. Does Bucky…did he say something, does he think that?” Steve panicked a little.

Natasha smirked at him. “Nope. Just checking.”

Steve relaxed and let out a breath. “That wasn’t nice,” he warned her.

“I actually think it’s very cool of you to let him have his space when he needs it and how understanding you are about his college work,” she admitted.

Steve leaned back in his chair. “He’s the same about my work,” Steve replied. He still wasn’t really used to how understanding Bucky was about how often he had to work.

“I think you guys are really good together,” she continued. “But just remember that if you hurt him, I can literally kill you,” Natasha threw out there.

Steve wanted to laugh, but her face was actually deadly serious. “Is this the shovel talk?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t need a shovel,” she said back, deadpan.

Steve believed her. “Well, I appreciate that. Consider me warned. But I’m not planning on hurting him, just so you know. I really like him.”

Natasha smiled this time. “I know. It’s all over your face all the time.”

Once again, Steve found himself wishing he didn’t blush so obviously.

 

****

 

Steve was restless without Bucky for all of Saturday. They texted back and forth, but Steve _missed_ him. He spent two hours in the gym, trying to take his mind off it, and then an hour in his shower unable to take his mind off it.

By Sunday, Steve sort of forgot to give Bucky space and found himself walking to Waverly Place where Bucky was working a shift in the bookshop. It was a pretty large store and Steve found himself wandering around a little, browsing the aisles as well as browsing for Bucky.

He finally found him at one of the registers on the third floor, ringing up someone’s purchases. Bucky’s whole face lit up as he spotted him. Steve felt a rush of affection. Bucky finished with his customer and gestured for Steve to wait while he served the next person and then called his colleague over, presumably to take over for a minute.

Bucky headed over to him and gave him a quick hug. “Stevie, what are you doing here?” he smiled, his eyes sparkling up at him.

Steve was once again struck by how beautiful Bucky was. He was dying to kiss him, but of course he couldn’t. This was Bucky’s work after all. “I need books,” Steve said.

Bucky tilted his head. “You need books?” he said, with a doubtful smile. “Any kind in particular?” he asked, looking like he was holding back a grin.

“Umm, good ones?” Steve replied, sheepishly.

“Ah,” Bucky’s face turned serious. “Good books. The best kind, those ones.”

Steve laughed. “Alright, maybe I might have missed you. Just a little.”

“Maybe?” Bucky grinned at him.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Seriously though, help me pick something to read on all the lonely nights I seem to be having lately,” he joked.

Bucky lowered his eyes a little. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy,” he said, sounding guilty.

Steve touched his arm lightly. “Hey, I’m just kidding, I totally understand.” He really did, but it didn’t make him miss seeing Bucky less.

Bucky looked back up. “Really?”

“Of course,” Steve said honestly. “Now, come on, what do you recommend?”

Bucky stood and looked deep in thought for a moment. “Well, I know it’s practically a cliché to recommend, but you can’t go wrong with Kerouac,” Bucky said, leading Steve down and around one of the aisles. “Have you read any of his novels?”

Steve shook his head. He liked how passionate Bucky sounded when he started to describe some of them.

“We’ll start at the beginning,” Bucky said as he stopped in front of a shelf and passed him a book.

Steve just nodded, glancing at the book, and let Bucky lead him over to the register to ring him up.

Bucky handed him a bag with the book and his receipt. “Here you go. Please come again,” he said with a laugh. He leaned forward a little. “Sorry, I can’t really hang out with you longer, my boss might see,” he said quietly.

Steve smiled. “I know. I didn’t mean to disturb you at work.” He really hadn’t, but his feet had just sort of led him there.

“Just needed good books really badly, huh?” Bucky grinned.

“Yeah, I kinda couldn’t stop thinking about…good books,” Steve replied with a soft smile.

“Stevie…” Bucky started, before another customer came up behind Steve. “Hi, how can I help you?” he said, as Steve stepped away. He gave Steve a little smile and Steve gave him a small wave before tearing himself away.

Bucky sent him a selfie later that night with him and the bookshelves, captioned “the good books miss you.”

It was the first picture Steve had of him. He set it as his phone’s wallpaper.

 

****

 

Steve’s heart thumped when his phone buzzed. It was Wednesday morning and he’d been out meeting clients and was in a cab heading back to the office. As he pulled out his phone, he hoped it was Bucky. The morning had been a little stressful and messages from Bucky always made him smile.

 **Bucky:** Omg my life sucks *multiple frowny face emojis*

Steve smiled, figuring the emoji use meant it wasn’t too serious. He decided to call Bucky instead of texting back.

“Steeeeve,” Bucky whined down the phone at him once he picked up.

Steve chuckled down the phone at him. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” _Sweetheart?_ That was new. _Well done, Steve_ , he berated himself.

Bucky didn’t seem to mind the term. “Our landlord is fumigating our craphole apartment for termites!” Bucky moaned dramatically. “For a week! We have to move out for a week!”

“Ah, I’m sorry, Buck.” Steve frowned. That did suck.

“I hate crashing on sofas,” Bucky groaned. “Nat said we could both stay at hers, and I’m grateful, really, but how I am supposed to sleep sharing a living room with Clint! Ugh, it’ll be fine, I guess. At least my test is tomorrow so that’ll be done.”

“You could stay with me,” Steve offered before he could stop himself.

Bucky chuckled, seeming to think he was joking. “Sure, Steve.”

“I’m serious,” Steve found himself saying. Why should Bucky have to sleep on a sofa when he had a perfectly good bed available?

“Stevie, I’m just ranting, I wasn’t trying to get you to offer, I promise,” Bucky sighed softly.

“I know, but I want you to anyway. It’s not a problem at all,” Steve said, as Bucky cut in protesting.

“I really appreciate it, but that wouldn’t be fair to Clint. I can’t leave him stuck on Nat’s sofa without me, you know?”

“So bring him too,” Steve offered. He had two bedrooms—if Bucky was happy to stay in Steve’s bed with him, which he seemed to be, then Clint could have the guest room.

Bucky laughed down the phone. “Did you seriously just volunteer to put up with Clint for a week?”

Steve frowned a little. Clint seemed like a pretty funny guy, but he’d only met him once. Eh, Steve was sure it would be fine. “Come on Buck, just let me do this. It’s not a big deal, just think of it like you’re staying at a hotel.”

“I…” Bucky paused. “Are you really, really sure?’ he asked, making Steve smile in triumph. “I swear we won’t get in your way.”

“Haven’t you figured out by now that I _like_ having you around?” Steve teased.

Bucky let out a breath. “Okay…okay. Thanks for this Steve, really, it’s…just thanks.”

“When are they kicking you out?” Steve asked, as his cab pulled up and he paid the driver.

“We have to be out by Sunday.”

“Well, why don’t you come over Saturday evening and settle in?” Steve suggested, getting out the cab and heading across the sidewalk into his offices.

“Okay, see you then,” Bucky told him.

Steve said goodbye and hung up, completely thrilled. Bucky, and okay also Clint, but Bucky! Bucky was staying with him for a whole week.

 

****

 

Steve’s week dragged. They had some particularly hard to satisfy clients, and Steve spent a lot of time helping a couple of his designers try to come up with new concepts. But at least Steve was getting to do some design work for once, or at least the original concept.

On Thursday, Steve had been particularly stressed, which made it all the more amazing when a delivery guy stopped by with a bunch of flowers addressed to Steve. He’d just about melted when he’d read the card to find they were from Bucky (and Clint!—it had said in brackets at the end). He’d honestly been amazed. No one had gotten him flowers before.

Sam had cracked a smile when he’d seen them. “Looks like you’ve got one of the good ones there.”

Steve had to agree. Bucky was a revelation. Steve didn’t believe in fate, but it sort of felt that something had brought Bucky to him. Bucky had told him that when they’d met in the diner, it was the first time he’d been there and he’d only stopped in for the free Wi-Fi when he was heading home and Clint had texted to say theirs wasn’t working. He couldn’t be bothered turning back to the library so he’d ended up at the diner, exactly when Steve happened to be there. Hmm, maybe Steve _did_ believe in fate after all.

Steve spent Friday night working extra late in the office, but somehow still managed to get up fairly early to go for a run on Saturday morning. On his way back, he stopped to get groceries, choosing a bunch of junk food as well as his usual stuff, because he figured that was what Bucky and Clint might like. Steve tried to stay pretty healthy most of the time, but he wanted them to be comfortable.

After he got that put away when he got home, he went to make up the guest room with fresh bedding and then emptied out a drawer in his dresser for Bucky. He’d need somewhere to put his things for the week and hey, if he ended up wanting to keep some things there afterwards, well, Steve wouldn’t say no to that.

Steve spent the rest of his day working. He wanted to get ahead on things so he could devote the rest of the weekend to Bucky. He got engrossed for hours, sitting at his dining table with his laptop, replying to as many emails as possible and reviewing the new designs his team had worked up with him.

When there was a knock on his door, he was startled. He looked at the clock on screen to see it was already past six.

He crossed the room to the hallway to open the door and as usual felt just that bit breathless looking at Bucky. He had a few books in his hands, a duffle bag over one shoulder, his laptop bag over the other, and past his shoulder there was Clint, in much the same situation.

“Hey, come on in,” Steve said. He wanted to kiss Bucky, but he wasn’t sure how Bucky felt about doing that in front of other people, so he resisted. “You should have told me you were here, I could have helped carry stuff.”

“We managed,” Bucky said, leaning so the duffle bag dropped from his shoulder to the floor and then heading into the living room.

Clint looked up at Steve. “Thanks for doing this,” he said.

Steve helped take his bag from him and placed it next to Bucky’s. “No problem. Come on, I’ll show you around.”

They followed after Bucky into the living room.

Clint put the books he was carrying down on the table and looked round the room, seemingly in awe. “Holy crap, Steve, can I be your boyfriend?” Clint offered.

“You’re straight, Clint, remember. Besides, he’s taken,” Bucky said with an exaggerated scowl from over near the sofa.

Clint waved his hand. “Pfft, it’s a spectrum.”

“I’m taken?” Steve wondered aloud, ignoring Clint.

Bucky looked over at him. “I, um, do you not want to be?” he stammered, putting his books down on the coffee table.

“No,” Steve approached Bucky, shaking his head. “I want, I just didn’t…we haven’t really talked about that.” He’d wanted to, but he was sort of leaving it up to Bucky.

“He calls you his boyfriend to everyone else,” Clint helpfully chipped in.

Bucky glared at Clint. Steve looked over at him too and grabbed Bucky’s hand, pulling him outside to the terrace, shutting the door behind them, when it became clear that Clint didn’t understand the concept of privacy.

“Bucky, am I your boyfriend?” he asked.

Bucky looked down shyly. “Well, yeah…I thought that was kinda what this was…unless it’s too soon, is it too soon?” he asked, looking up at Steve nervously.

“No,” Steve shook his head, “I want to be your boyfriend.” He couldn’t keep the giant smile from his face.

Bucky’s face lit up and he leaned in for a kiss. When Steve pulled away, he could see Clint through the window giving him two thumbs up. Steve sighed and Bucky turned to see Clint and flipped him off.

“Told you,” Bucky said.

Steve gave him a wry smile. “Come on, let’s get him settled.”

 

****

 

Clint did the same thing Bucky did when Steve showed him the guest room and face-planted on the bed. “Am I in heaven, I think this is heaven,” he said, voice muffled. He turned his head to look at Steve and Bucky. “Steve, are you an angel?”

Steve turned red. “The um, dresser is empty and the bathroom is right next door. There are towels in there too. I have an en suite so you’ll pretty much have that one to yourself.”

Clint pushed up from the bed. “I get my own bathroom?!” he screeched, running past them to check it out.

Steve gave Bucky an incredulous look. Bucky just looked back with his ‘told you so’ look. “Wait till he sees it.”

“Oh my god, it’s marble!” Clint’s voice shrieked from the bathroom.

Steve cringed a little at the loudness.

“Steve, can I take a bath?!” Clint yelled.

Steve ran a hand through his hair. “Knock yourself out, Clint!”

Bucky looked at him and shrugged.

“Come on, you should unpack,” Steve said, taking Bucky’s hand and picking up his bag from the hallway before they headed to Steve’s room. He heard water running as they went past the bathroom, telling him Clint had been serious.

Steve released Bucky’s hand and gestured to the dresser as they entered his room. “I emptied out a drawer for you, and there’s some free hangers in the closet, but let me know if you need more space.” He dropped the bag onto the bed.

He turned to look at Bucky, to see him staring at Steve with a soft look on his face. “You got me a drawer?”

“Well, it was already there, I just emptied it,” Steve commented with a smile as Bucky approached him.

“What the hell…how did I get this lucky?” Bucky murmured, winding his arms round Steve’s waist.

“That’s definitely the other way around,” Steve replied, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s hair.

Bucky snorted like he didn’t agree.

“Is there anything else you need, baby?” _Huh_. That just seemed to come out of Steve when they had these sorts of moments together.

Bucky looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m pretty sweaty from carrying stuff, I could do with a shower.”

“Whatever you want,” Steve replied, his hands running through Bucky’s hair.

Bucky leaned closer. “You know, you’re kinda smelly, I think you could use a shower too.”

Steve pulled away, pulling at the collar of his t-shirt to smell it. “I am?”

“No,” Bucky laughed at him. “I was doing a _thing_ ,” he said, his eyes trying to convey something to Steve.

“Oh! Wow am I not smooth,” Steve said, pulling Bucky back towards him.

“Yeah. I kinda like you that way,” Bucky laughed. “So…shower?”

Steve’s breath hitched as he’d understood the concept of what Bucky had been asking, but not really thought of the reality. “Yeah…shower,” he said back, his voice catching a little.

“Oh wait,” Bucky said as Steve started to move. “If Clint’s having a bath will there be enough water?”

Steve pressed his lips together to stop himself smiling. “Yeah, Buck, it’ll be fine.” He took Bucky’s hand and led him through to the bathroom, shutting the door behind them.

Steve pulled off his shirt first, stupidly excited. Bucky stared at him for a few moments before doing the same. Steve took his own moment to appreciate Bucky shirtless, with those lean muscles of his, then pulled off the sweatpants he was wearing along with his underwear at the same time, stepping out of them, leaving them on the floor.

It was the first time he’d been naked in front of Bucky. Steve blushed a little at the intimacy of the moment. Bucky was staring at him like he wanted to eat him. Steve felt himself starting to get hard from being looked at like that.

He stepped into the shower and turned the water on, giving Bucky a full view of his ass as he did so and waited for Bucky to join him, which he did a moment later, stepping under the already warm spray of water.

Steve gathered him into his arms instantly, hissing when his half-hard cock pressed against Bucky’s, which was already fully erect. Steve wasn’t half-hard for long. Steve pushed Bucky’s wet hair back as he pulled him in for a rough kiss.

“God, baby, you are so beautiful,” Steve said, his voice even deeper than usual.

“Stevie,” Bucky whimpered, in that special soft tone of his.

“I could spend all day just kissing you,” Steve murmured, before nuzzling into Bucky’s neck.

He got a little carried away as Bucky made these little moans and he suctioned a little at Bucky’s delicate collarbone, leaving a pretty mark there. Steve let out a possessive growl at the sight. Bucky was his boyfriend, he was all his, and Steve didn’t think he’d ever been happier about anything.

He remembered he was supposed to be following Bucky’s lead, so he pulled away reluctantly and reached for his body wash. He poured some into his hands and started running his hands over Bucky, getting him all soapy.

“Mmm, you taking care of me, Stevie?” Bucky breathed out, looking up at Steve, his long eyelashes capturing water droplets.

“Always,” Steve replied, stroking his hand down Bucky’s abs, before tracing along his sides.

Bucky let out a giggle and jerked a little. “Tickles,” he told Steve.

Steve moved his hands to slide down onto Bucky’s ass instead, stopping Bucky’s giggling immediately. He squeezed his hands, feeling Bucky’s firm muscles, causing Bucky to press himself against Steve again.

“Please…” Bucky whimpered at Steve, before capturing Steve’s mouth with his perfect lips.

Steve groaned, pushing Bucky up against the marble wall of his shower, licking into his mouth, their kisses wet and warm.

Bucky’s hands were tracing their way down Steve’s chest until they stroked down his hipbones, Steve sighing softly into Bucky’s mouth in pleasure at the feeling, before one hand finally wrapped around Steve’s cock. Steve broke the kiss and hissed out a moan. It had been far too fucking long since someone had touched him. Bucky’s wet hand felt indescribable to Steve, the body wash creating perfect glide for him when he started moving his hand, so slowly but firmly, twisting when he reached the head of Steve’s cock, thumbing over the slit, before gliding back down.

Steve planted both his hands against the marble wall, Bucky caged between them, helping to support himself as he shuddered against Bucky’s touch. Steve was usually a talker. He liked to praise his partners, tell them how good things felt—the words usually just came pouring out of him without reason—but right then he couldn’t even think. Somehow, the silence between them was even more erotic to Steve, with just the noise of the shower, the sound of skin on skin, and Steve’s panting.

Steve leant his head down to kiss Bucky again. Bucky lost a little rhythm as he moaned into Steve’s mouth, his other hand moving to grasp Steve’s ass.

God, this was just too much. Steve pulled his lips away, with a soft bite to Bucky’s lower lip, before moving down his neck again. He kept nuzzling into Bucky’s neck as he moved his hands from the wall and wrapped one around Bucky’s cock. Bucky jerked and swore softly. Steve matched Bucky’s rhythm as they both stroked each other. After a minute, Bucky was whimpering again.

“Touch us both, baby,” Steve told Bucky, breathing hard, before nibbling on Bucky’s earlobe and taking his hand away. Bucky keened at the loss before moving his hand to grasp both their cocks together.

Steve’s eyes nearly rolled back in his head at the feeling of Bucky’s velvet soft skin, but rock hard length rubbing against his. Bucky worked his hand faster over them both.

Steve cupped Bucky’s cheek, their eyes meeting. Fuck, that was intense, the way Bucky stared at him, biting down on his lower lip. Bucky moved his hand faster, Steve’s breath coming in short bursts at the feeling, before he felt a familiar tightening sensation and came with a shudder, his eyes fluttering closed as his release overtook him and he groaned at the intensity of it.

He collapsed his head down onto Bucky’s shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. Bucky followed only moments later, leaning against the wall, punctuating his release with these little grunts that Steve thought might be the best noises he’d ever heard. He felt Bucky’s come splash onto his stomach, before it got mostly washed away by the shower moments later.

When Steve could function again, he kissed Bucky again, hard. “That was amazing,” Steve said softly against his mouth. Bucky moaned in what sounded like agreement, his eyes closed as he leant against the wall, looking totally spent.

“Aww baby, are you all tired out?” Steve said with a smile. “Want me to wash your hair?”

“Mmm, yeah,” Bucky murmured.

Steve moved Bucky away from the wall, pulling his back flush against Steve’s chest, so Bucky could lean on him as he grabbed the shampoo and started working his fingers through Bucky’s soft hair.

“Oh god, that feels so nice,” Bucky said softly.

Steve set to work making Bucky all clean again, while Bucky seemed to reawaken. He took the body wash from Steve and started returning the favour. He chuckled as he ran his hands over every inch of Steve. “I swear you’re like a Greek god or something.”

Steve blushed. Bucky reached for the shampoo and looked up at Steve. “Blushing again, Stevie?” he smirked. He gestured for Steve to lower his head a little so he could work the shampoo through Steve’s hair.

Steve didn’t recall a time that anyone had washed his hair for him with the exception of his hairdresser. Bucky’s fingers massaging his scalp made him tingle all over. He sighed softly as Bucky continued, before he washed the shampoo out, and then planted little kisses along Steve’s chest before Steve swooped him into his arms again.

 

****

 

They finally got out the shower. Steve didn’t want to think about how many gallons of water they must have used.

Bucky unzipped his bag, pulling out clothes and started filling his drawer, changing into some comfy looking sweats. Steve pulled on something similar, watching with a smile as Bucky put his things away neatly.

“Want do you want to have for dinner?” Steve asked, as Bucky shut the drawer.

Bucky smiled over at him. “I don’t know, I’ll go and check with Clint. Do you want to order in?”

Steve had sort of forgotten that Clint was there. He wondered if he was still in the bath. “I can make something,” Steve offered. He did know how to cook despite not really doing it that often for himself.

“Okay,” Bucky agreed easily. “Let’s go see what we can do.” He picked up his towels and then Steve’s and went to the bathroom, presumably hanging them back up, because apparently Steve had the most thoughtful boyfriend in the world, and then returned, heading out the bedroom with Steve following behind.

Clint was on the sofa, watching the TV. He looked over when they came into the room. “Oh, there you are,” he said with a grin. “I was wondering where you’d _got off_ to.”

Steve didn’t need to see Bucky’s face to know he was probably rolling his eyes at Clint. Steve chose to ignore the innuendo.

“Is it okay for me to use your TV?” Clint suddenly asked Steve. “I should have asked you.”

Steve smiled in amusement at Clint’s politeness. Of course Bucky surrounded himself with people almost as sweet as he was. Even Clint, who Bucky pretended was a nightmare, was apparently not so bad.

“Of course you can,” Steve replied. “Just make your own profile on Netflix so you don’t mess up my recs,” he joked.

Bucky snorted. “Yeah, Stevie, you don’t want to miss any Disney movies that get added.”

Steve poked him in the ribs. “Shut it you,” he smiled.

He moved over to the kitchen and opened a drawer, remembering something. “I meant to tell you a few things about the apartment,” he told them, digging out a key. He placed it on the counter towards Bucky. “I’ve only got one spare, so you guys might have to coordinate a bit, or I can run out and get another one made tomorrow, if you think you’ll need it. If you’re really stuck, the building attendant in the lobby can let you in. I told them you’re staying this week so they’ll know who you are.”

He pulled out a key card as he spoke, placing that on the counter too. “That’ll give you access to the fitness centre and the rooftop terrace if you want to use them.”

He closed the drawer and lifted his head to see Bucky and Clint staring at him. “What?” he said, feeling self-conscious.

“We get a key?” Bucky asked, sounding stunned.

Steve smiled, confused. “Well, yeah, how else will you get in? I have to work late sometimes so you’ll probably be back before me a lot…” he trailed off. Maybe Bucky thought he would be home early all the time? His ex had hated that he wasn’t around. Maybe Bucky expected him to be early this week?

“How the hell did you find someone this cool?” Clint piped up.

Steve looked at Bucky. “If you want, I can try and be home early this week?” he offered.

Bucky gave him this look like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Steve, why are you so ridiculous,” he said as a statement, not a question. “I know how important your work is, you do whatever you’d usually do while we’re here, okay?”

Steve nodded. “Okay.” Well that was a nice change, to have someone truly be so understanding about it.

Bucky fixed his eyes on Steve. “Seriously, I mean it. If we’re bugging you, you tell us and we’ll go out.”

Steve didn’t see that ever happening, but he nodded so Bucky knew he understood.

“In fact,” Bucky continued, “you go do whatever it is you’d usually be doing and Clint and I will make dinner.”

“We will?” Clint frowned.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Get in the kitchen, Clint.”

Steve was touched. Part of him still wanted to argue that he could cook for them, but he didn’t want to throw the gesture back in Bucky’s face so he agreed instead. “Thanks, Buck. I guess I could do with finishing some stuff up.” Steve _had_ left his laptop rather abruptly when Bucky and Clint had arrived.

“Go do that then and I’ll yell when dinner is ready,” Bucky told him, stepping towards Steve and giving him a quick kiss.

Steve swooned a little in his head at the domesticity of it all and then went to the table, gathering up his laptop. It looked like a nice night out so he headed out to the terrace, turning on the outside heat lamp, so he could work out there and leave them to it in the kitchen.

He sat on the outside sofa, where he could see into the apartment in case they needed anything, but then got down to work. After five minutes, some movement caught the corner of his eye and he looked up to see Clint holding a bag of Cheetos, pressing it and himself against the window.

“Steve! Can I eat these?!” Clint’s voice came through the glass quietly, which meant he must have been really yelling.

Steve shook his head in amusement and quickly pulled up Notepad on his laptop, typing out ‘not until after dinner’ in a large font, before spinning the laptop round for Clint to read.

Clint’s face fell as he read, while Bucky strode over to him and yanked the bag out of his hand, also read Steve’s message and gave him an eye roll directed at Clint before dragging Clint away from the window.

Steve laughed to himself and went back to work.

Around half an hour later, Bucky popped his head out the door to the terrace. “Stevie, dinner’s almost ready.”

Steve smiled over at him. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had made him dinner. “I’ll be right in, sweetheart.”

“No, we’ll bring it out here,” Bucky told him.

Steve nodded and finished up the email he’d been writing, as Clint and Bucky carried plates out to the table. Steve left his laptop on the low table by the outside sofa and went to join them at the outside dining table, sitting opposite them so they could enjoy the view over the city.

“Wow,” he breathed out in surprise. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting—if he was honest, probably not much considering that they were both students and students generally weren’t known for their cooking, but he was pleasantly surprised.

“It’s just crispy beef with noodles,” Bucky said as they sat down.

Steve frowned. “I didn’t have any crispy beef,” he said.

Bucky looked bemused. “You had steak. I just cut it up, made a coating and fried it.”

“He made the sauce too,” Clint chipped in.

Steve took a bite and was amazed. He was surprised he’d even had ingredients to make a sauce this good from scratch. “This is amazing. I didn’t know you could cook like this.” Steve didn’t mean it as an insult, he was just pleasantly surprised to learn yet another of Bucky’s talents.

“Bucky’s always cooked for himself,” Clint said through a mouthful of food.

Bucky shrugged. “Well Becca was crap at cooking so I had to learn.”

Steve felt a pang of sadness at that comment and smiled hopefully sympathetically at Bucky, but he didn’t look sad, just matter-of-fact.

They all continued to eat and talk, Steve mainly listening to Bucky and Clint as he got a little lost in how nice everything was. It felt good having them there—even Clint—and he thought back with pang, realising just how lonely he truly had been before. He had to try and steady himself though—Bucky was only staying for a week after all, not forever.


	10. Steve has a boyfriend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cinnamon rolls, cats and coffee

On Sunday, Bucky had to go to work. He was so sneaky about it that Steve didn’t even wake up as he was leaving and instead woke to an empty bed, much to his disappointment. When they’d gone to sleep the night before, Bucky had snuggled into his arms and Steve had almost died at the cuteness.

Steve sighed and got out of bed, heading into the kitchen once he pulled on a t-shirt. He rubbed his eyes and then focused on a bag that had been left on the kitchen counter. He moved closer and realised the outside said ‘Robin’s Bakery’ and his heart leapt as he opened it to find two cinnamon rolls there waiting for him.

Steve didn’t cry a lot but he sort of felt like he could have right then. He definitely felt himself getting a little choked up. It took him a few moments to be able to get a plate and grab one of them out the bag.

He’d never met anyone as attentive as Bucky. His ex-girlfriend had been his longest relationship, but looking back it had always been a bit all about her, and Steve had gotten used to being the caregiver in his relationships. He didn’t not like that of course, it was part of who he was, but having Bucky looking after him in these little ways made his insides melt.

He sat at the kitchen counter with his treat and a coffee and sent Bucky a picture of his half-eaten cinnamon roll along with about ten heart emojis. Then he stared at his phone wallpaper for a few moments.

“Mornin’,” Clint greeted him as he padded into the kitchen, and Steve hastily put his phone away.

“Hey, Clint. Sleep well? Coffee’s on the counter,” Steve replied, gesturing towards it.

Clint grabbed a coffee cup when Steve pointed out where they were. “I slept so, so good. I totally could suffocate in the soft cosiness of that bed.” He noticed what Steve was eating. “Oh, hey, he gave you them. He was so excited, made us get there really early yesterday to make sure he got some before they ran out.”

Steve’s heart jumped. He smiled softly. “That was really sweet of you both.”

Clint shook his head. “It was all Bucky, I was just tagging along. He umm…he really likes you, you know.”

Steve was pretty much a puddle on the floor now.

“I’m probably not supposed to say anything, but fuck it, when do I listen to anyone…like, I don’t know how he is with you, but his ex was a real piece of work and really messed him up so, like, it’s just cool to see how nice you are to him,” Clint said between gulps of coffee.

Steve took a sip of his coffee too. “I appreciate you saying that, but I think you should probably not tell me anything else…it should be up to Bucky if he wants to tell me about that really,” he said, kindly, so Clint would know he wasn’t mad.

Clint beamed at him. “See! You’re so cool.”

Steve chuckled and finished his cinnamon roll, offering the other to Clint, even though he really wanted to keep it for himself for later. Luckily, Clint refused it, so Steve put it away.

“I think I’m going to go to the gym,” he told Clint. “Make yourself at home.”

“Can I come too?” Clint asked him straight away.

“Umm, sure?” Steve replied. He was happy to get to know Clint more, even if he usually preferred going to the gym alone. He was sure it would be fine.

 

****

 

Steve was working on his laptop at the dining table when Bucky got home. He hadn’t planned on doing more work, but something urgent had come in. Clint was playing on the Nintendo Switch that somehow Steve had bought that day after the gym.

Clint waved at Bucky from the sofa where he had headphones on and Steve looked over to see Bucky approaching. Steve was instantly on his feet, pulling Bucky into a hug.

“Stevie, since when do you have a Switch?” he commented into Steve’s shoulder.

Steve didn’t let go of him. “Clint may have convinced me to get one.”

Bucky tried to pull away, but Steve just squeezed harder. Bucky laughed into his neck. “Aww Stevie, what happened?”

“We went to the gym together and he kept commenting on my muscles,” Steve said, a little traumatised.

Bucky laughed as Steve finally let him go.

“Then we got lunch and somehow ended up at the Nintendo store and I bought the thing and like five games…”

Bucky looked at him sympathetically. “I should have warned you. Clint is very good at getting what he wants,” he said with a frown over in Clint’s direction.

Steve looked at him with wide eyes. “I just needed something to make him stop talking.”

Bucky laughed again. “I’m sorry.”

“Bucky!” Clint yelled over, loudly. “Come and look at Link, he’s badass.”

Bucky sighed. “Are you working?” he asked Steve.

“Yeah, you go, play with Clint,” Steve told him.

Bucky leaned in and kissed him gently and then wandered over to Clint. Steve stared after him for a moment before sitting down again.

Steve wasn’t sure how long he stayed working at his laptop before Bucky interrupted him. He looked up as Bucky said his name.

“Are you going to yell at me?” he asked, trying to read Bucky’s expression, while still typing.

Bucky frowned at him. “Why would I yell at you?”

“Cause I’ve been working too long?”

Bucky looked saddened. “I’m never going to yell at you for that, Stevie. Just wanted to see if you wanted to play with us, seeing as it _is_ yours.”

Steve had no interest in video games, not really. “Maybe in a little while?” he offered, pleased Bucky wasn’t annoyed with him.

“Okay,” Bucky said simply, as Steve focused on work again.

A few minutes later, Bucky placed a cup of coffee down next to him and kissed his cheek. Steve couldn’t take this level of adorableness anymore and abandoned his work, getting up, grabbing Bucky’s hand and pulling him into the hallway.

He pushed Bucky up against the wall and crushed their lips together. Bucky rolled his hips against him as Steve licked into his mouth. Steve inhaled Bucky’s now familiar scent and it made him a little crazy with want. He loved Bucky’s soft, warm lips against his and the way Bucky responded to him with these little moans. He ran his hand along Bucky’s jaw, the other running along his abs, feeling the firm muscles, wishing he could get his mouth on Bucky again.

Steve choked back a groan as he forced himself to pull away before he got even more worked up. “Thanks for my cinnamon rolls,” he told Bucky, looking into Bucky’s dark eyes where the pupils had blown wide.

“That was a thank you kiss?” Bucky choked out.

“Mmmhmm,” Steve murmured, planting a kiss on Bucky’s forehead.

Bucky grabbed his hand and pulled him towards their bedroom. Steve sort of felt a bit choked up that he’d just thought of it as _their_ bedroom. “What are you doing, baby?” he asked as Bucky closed the door behind them.

“Have to give you my own thank you kiss for putting up with Clint today, don’t I,” Bucky murmured at him, his hands tugging at Steve’s shirt.

Steve let him pull it off. Bucky ran his hands all over him, making his skin tingle, pressing against his muscles, gripping and feeling him. “God, you are so hot,” Bucky groaned. He started kissing his way across Steve’s chest, before latching his mouth onto Steve’s nipple and biting it gently.

Steve jerked as the sensation shot straight to his groin. “God, Bucky…” he breathed out.

Bucky’s hands started undoing the button on Steve’s pants.

“Clint’s right in the other room,” he warned.

Bucky chuckled. “He won’t stop that game until we unplug it, trust me.” He worked down Steve’s zipper and pushed the pants to the floor, then pushed himself against Steve, Steve’s back hitting the door, kissing his neck, his jeans rubbing against Steve’s length in his boxers.

“Bucky, baby, fuck…” Steve stuttered out.

Bucky chuckled against him, the vibrations on Steve’s neck making him quiver. “Never heard you swear before, Stevie.” Bucky pinched Steve’s nipple between his fingers.

“Fuck,” Steve breathed out. “Better get…fucking used to it…” he stuttered.

Bucky’s fingers traced the edge of his boxers, dipping into the waistband. Steve was so turned on by the teasing touches, he had to stop himself just throwing Bucky onto the bed.

Bucky’s hand dipped further down and then a loud knock on the door made Steve jump out of his skin.

“Steve?” Clint’s voice came through the door.

“Holy cr—,” Steve startled while Bucky looked just as jolted out of the lustful haze they’d been in. “What?” Steve bit out, probably sounding more pissed off than he meant to.

“Do you have a cat?” Clint replied through the door.

Steve couldn’t even process the sentence. “Do I have a what now?”

“Clint, just give us a fuckin’ minute,” Bucky barked out at him.

“Okay…” Clint replied and Steve heard him walking away.

Bucky sighed and looked at Steve with a sorry expression, the moment ruined. “Maybe we can pick this up sometime when he’s out the apartment?” he suggested, sounding frustrated.

Steve nodded, disappointment surging through him, pulling his pants back up and fastening them as Bucky retrieved his shirt for him. “Why was he asking me about a cat?” Steve questioned as he pulled on his shirt.

Bucky shrugged as though it was normal for Clint to ask things like that.

When they made their way back to the living room, they found their answer. Clint was standing there holding a fluffy gray cat in his arms, nuzzling his face into its fur.

“Is she yours?” Clint asked.

Steve looked at the cat in Clint’s arms and the open terrace door. _How the hell did a cat even get up here?_ Steve thought. Of all the things to interrupt him and Bucky, a fucking cat was not on the list.

“No, she’s not mine,” Steve sighed.

“Can we steal her?” Clint asked, making puppy dog eyes at him as Bucky wandered over to pet the cat.

“No,” Steve sighed, wondering if it belonged to one of his neighbours.

“Can we play with her for a bit though?” Bucky asked, stroking his finger along the cat’s nose.

Like Steve could say no to that. Bucky looked so sweet with the damn cat and Steve didn’t _hate_ cats. “Fine,” he relented. “But leave the door open so she can leave when she wants.”

Clint nodded and put the cat down on the floor. Steve wasn’t sure how it happened but soon he had unlaced an old shoe of his so they could play with the cat and the shoelace and he found himself lying on the floor with Bucky and Clint, cooing at the cat.

 

****

 

Steve woke up when his alarm went off. He’d set it to Bucky-time, choosing to skip his morning workout, seeing as he’d gone to the gym yesterday, and he didn’t see himself going to the gym the rest of the week anyway as that would cut into his sleeping next to Bucky time.

He’d left Bucky and Clint playing on the Switch late into the night, after the cat had eventually wandered back out and they’d watched it climb up to the roof. Bucky had been worried about it, but Steve assumed it would be fine. Cats seemed like they always knew what they were doing.

Of course, him going to bed before Bucky meant they didn’t pick up where they left off, but that was okay with Steve. Bucky deserved some time to unwind after all the studying for the test he’d been doing the previous week. Plus Steve didn’t want him to feel like he had to spend every second with him, just because he was living there for now.

Still, it was really nice to wake up with Bucky beside him. And as his boyfriend no less, Steve smiled to himself. Bucky’s head was sort of squished in between Steve’s shoulder and neck and he was stirring as the alarm woke him too. Bucky had class that morning anyway, so they both needed to get up.

“Mmmph, morning,” Bucky moaned out, stretching himself out and pushing back the covers.

Steve’s eyes raked over his chest. “Morning, Buck,” he said back, pulling himself up to sitting and stretching his arms up.

Bucky opened his eyes fully and started lazily climbing out of bed, but instead of leaving from his side, he clambered over Steve, his knees either side of Steve’s legs, straddling him.

Steve’s dick jumped as Bucky settled down onto his lap and Steve’s hands automatically rested on Bucky’s ass.

“I like waking up with you,” Bucky said, nuzzling his face into Steve’s neck before leaving a trail of kisses down from his ear to his collarbone.

Steve’s heart glowed. He wanted to wake up to Bucky every day. The kisses made him tingle with want.

Bucky made a little frustrated sound as he pulled away and looked at the clock. “I gotta go wake up Clint,” he said, dragging himself off Steve. Apparently alarms didn’t work so well with Clint, so Bucky was often in charge of waking him up.

Steve sighed but resisted dragging him back over there. There wasn’t time before they had to leave anyway.

“I’ll make coffee,” Bucky said over his shoulder as he padded across the room and retrieved Steve’s t-shirt from yesterday, pulling it on.

Steve was beginning to suspect that Bucky knew what seeing him in Steve’s clothes did to him. He sighed, trying to push down the desire rising up in him, and dragged himself out of bed to grab a quick shower.

Steve was just finishing getting dressed when he heard an almighty smash from the kitchen, like glass shattering. He ran from the room to see what had happened to find Clint and Bucky standing there surrounded by the glass from his now smashed coffee pot, that luckily at least seemed to have been empty when it smashed.

“Aww, coffee, no,” Clint said miserably, before they both noticed Steve and stared at him with wide eyes.

“Don’t move,” Steve commanded them, seeing as they were both surrounded by glass.

“I’m sorry I broke it,” Clint said, sounding a bit like a kid who thought he was in trouble.

“Are either of you hurt?” he asked, focusing on Bucky. They both shook their heads at him and Steve went and pulled on his running shoes that he’d left near the front door.

Steve thought that was a miracle considering the glass had surrounded them and neither was wearing shoes or socks. Steve stepped onto the glass carefully to reach Bucky before lifting him up and over his shoulder. Bucky let out a squeak before Steve deposited him safely near the dining table, away from the glass.

He turned back to Clint and crunched over the glass to him, sighed, and lifted him up too while Clint’s eyes bugged out his head. He carried him across to Bucky. “This shouldn’t be turning me on, right?” Clint commented.

Steve was pretty sure he was joking as he put Clint back down.

“We’ll get you a new one, Stevie,” Bucky promised him.

“No you won’t,” Steve told him. Bucky didn’t need to know how stupidly expensive that thing had been. “I’ll pick a new one up later, it’s fine. I’m just glad you both aren’t hurt.” He kissed Bucky’s hair. “Can you handle the glass though? I have to get to the office.”

Bucky nodded. “Of course.”

“Put shoes on,” he reminded them, heading to the door and changing into work shoes.

“I can’t believe he’s not even mad,” he heard Clint mutter to Bucky.

Steve smiled to himself. “It’s just stuff, Clint, it’s not important,” he said, smiling over at him.

Clint startled. “He has really good hearing,” he said in an exaggerated whisper.

“He has really good everything,” Bucky whispered back.

 

****

 

Steve sat smiling at his computer. He smiled when Peter brought him coffee and then smiled when Peter informed him of an extra meeting he had that day. He even smiled when Sam passed him a financial report to have a quick look at.

“What is up with you, man?” Sam questioned, shaking his head at Steve.

Steve just smiled back. “What do you mean?”

Sam sank into one of the chairs opposite Steve’s desk. “The smiling. It’s freaking me out.”

“It’s called happiness, Sam,” Steve said, taking a sip of coffee.

“So I’m guessing living with Bucky is all kinds of awesome then?” Sam replied. Steve had told him last week about Bucky staying with him.

Steve sighed at him, lifting his eyes to Sam’s. “He bought me cinnamon rolls.”

Sam frowned at him. “Your favourite cinnamon rolls?”

Steve nodded.

“Well, damn, Steve. Did you propose yet?”

Steve threw the financial report back at him, where happily it hit Sam in the face as he laughed. “Shut it,” Steve grinned. He paused. “He said I’m his boyfriend,” he said wistfully.

“Aww, Steve.” Sam pulled out his phone.

“What are you doing?” Steve asked him, absentmindedly pressing the home button on his phone so he could look at Bucky’s picture.

“I’m telling everyone in group chat,” Sam said, his fingers texting.

Steve lurched up and tried to grab the phone from Sam, but he evaded him expertly, sliding out his chair and running away to his office opposite.

Steve gave up and sighed, looking down at his phone as it started buzzing and opened their chat. He’d sent it to their poker group.

 **Sam:** Guess who has a boyfriend! I’ll give you a clue, his surname is Rogers.

 **Thor:** Steve congratulations! Bucky seems lovely

 **Bruce:** If I say I’m honestly really pleased will you get mad at me?

 **Tony:** Don’t worry, I approve, I ran a background check on him

Steve sighed. He was sure that Tony wasn’t joking.

 **Steve:** I hate you all.

 **Sam:** You love us.

 **Tony:** I don’t know I think he might love the Buckster more. His face gets all moony.

 **Sam:** You should see it today. Hasn’t. Stopped. Smiling.

 **Steve:** I’m frowning now asshole.

 **Tony:** Quick Sam. Go say the word Bucky and turn his frown upside down

Sam appeared in his doorway across from Steve’s office and yelled “Bucky!” at him and fuck it, it totally worked and Steve did smile.

 **Sam:** Fucking worked Tony.

 

****

 

“Steve!” Peter called out, sounding excited as Steve entered the office, returning from a meeting with a client. “The San Fran company called, they want to meet with you tomorrow!”

Steve burst into a wide grin. “Seriously?” They’d been trying to get this new tech start-up company as a client for months, but they’d been dragging their feet.

Peter looked just as happy as Steve felt. “I told them you’d be there, I’m just arranging your flight for tonight now.”

Steve felt the grin slide from his face. Tonight meant no time with Bucky and this client had taken months and why was _this_ the week of all weeks for them to decide they wanted to meet him. And frankly, why couldn’t they just have a conference call like normal people?

Peter stopped grinning too. “Did I do something wrong? You said to say yes to them, whatever they wanted?”

Steve shook his head and tried to smile. “No, no, you did great. I just wasn’t expecting it to be this week. What time is the flight?”

“Eight thirty-five. I haven’t booked a return yet, I wasn’t sure what day you’d be coming back. You want me to book a hotel or are you going to stay at Mr Stark’s?”

Eight thirty-five meant he wouldn’t even get to see Bucky before he had to leave for the airport. Steve should be happy—really happy—and he was, but he also felt a little gloomy about leaving, even if only for a couple of days.

“Yeah, I’ll call Tony,” Steve told Peter. Tony owned places in a lot of major cities and was always incredibly generous, letting his friends stay over whenever they wanted.

Steve checked his watch. He had enough time to finish off some stuff in the office and then get home and pack.

“Car will pick you up at five-fifteen,” Peter told him, seeming to sense what Steve was going to ask next.

Steve smiled properly this time. Peter was an excellent assistant. “Thanks, Pete.”

 

****

 

Steve managed to finish off a little work, grab Sam to tell him where he was going, and then race to buy a new coffee pot, because he couldn’t leave Bucky without the ability to make coffee while he was gone. Then he dashed to the store and grabbed four pints of different flavour ice cream (definitely not strawberry) so he could leave them for Bucky, just to show he was thinking of him while he was away.

He tried calling Bucky while he rushed around his apartment, packing a bag, but he didn’t pick up. He was probably busy in the lab, Steve figured. He’d try at the airport.

Steve managed to be ready on time, leaving a note for Bucky to look in the freezer and a wad of money for any emergencies or for food under the new coffee pot and then he was out the door.

Bucky called him back while he was in the car.

“Hey, Buck,” he answered.

“Hey, Stevie, I had a missed call from you, what’s up? Or did you just miss me that much?” Bucky’s beautiful voice came down the phone.

Steve thought Bucky’s voice could probably be used as a cure for high blood pressure as he felt himself relax just by hearing it. “Why would I miss you, I saw you this morning,” Steve teased.

“Now Stevie, if you’re gonna lie, this relationship is never going to work,” Bucky reprimanded him jokingly.

“Alright, maybe I did, just a little,” Steve admitted.

“I know that’s another lie, but I’m gonna let it slide.”

Steve was glad Sam wasn’t there to see the moony face that he definitely had going on right now. “I did call for a reason though,” Steve admitted. “I have to go to San Francisco tonight, I’m on my way to the airport.”

“Oh.” Bucky sounded like he might be a little sad about that, Steve couldn’t quite tell. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s just this client we’ve been trying to get, they finally want to meet me and they want it to be face to face so…” Steve trailed off.

“When will you be back?” Bucky asked. He _did_ sound kinda sad, Steve was pretty sure.

“A couple of days probably.”

“You want us to go and stay with Natasha?” Bucky asked, surprising him.

“What? No. Why would I want that? You and Clint can look after the place for me.” Steve wasn’t sure where that had come from. Did Bucky not get how much he cared about him?

“Okay,” Bucky agreed easily. “This kinda sucks though, sorta been getting used to having you around.”

“I know, baby, me too,” Steve said quietly. God, it was just a couple of days, he should really pull himself together. “When I’m back we’ll do something special, okay?” he promised.

“Okay,” Bucky replied, still sounding a bit down.

“I…” Steve stopped himself. He knew what he’d been about to say, what was about to roll off his tongue easily, and thank god his brain was working for once and stopped him in time. “I’ll see you soon,” he amended.

“Okay, have a good time,” Bucky replied before they hung up.

 _Fuck. Oh, fuck._ Steve was panicking. He took a deep breath and tried to force himself to calm down. What the hell was wrong with him? It hadn’t even been three months since he’d met Bucky and he was repeating the same fucking pattern he always did, where he fell too fast and then got his heart stomped all over. Maybe the trip to San Francisco had come at just the right time after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I can't bring myself to write in text speak for the texts, the best I can do is delete some punctuation lol.


	11. Steve has a revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve panics in San Francisco. Things develop when he gets back.

The meeting went well. They hired Shield to design basically everything the company would need, including their logo. It was a big deal for Steve, especially as they wanted him to personally to work on the designs, which was one of the reasons they’d wanted to meet him. He’d have to delegate some of his other work, but he was excited and ready to work on a design project.

The meeting was done on Tuesday. They went out for drinks that evening, but Steve could have returned to New York on Wednesday only he didn’t. He stayed at Tony’s place in Mission Bay. He went out sightseeing. He did some drawing. He thought about his past relationships and how badly they always ended, with Steve almost always the one being hurt.

Bucky sent him pictures of himself playing with the cat that had apparently returned and bowls piled high with four different flavours of ice cream, as well as Clint hugging the new coffee pot. Steve sent him back pictures he took around San Francisco. He didn’t call Bucky.

He was sitting out on Tony’s balcony watching the sunset when Sam called him. He didn’t really want to pick up, but he supposed it could be business related so he forced himself to.

“Steve, it’s Thursday, when are you flying back, Peter said you didn’t confirm yet?” Sam launched straight in.

“I’m not sure yet. I’m taking a couple of days, enjoying San Francisco,” Steve lied.

Sam didn’t reply for a moment. “What’s wrong, man?” he asked, concern in his voice.

“What do you mean?”

“You sound like you sound when something’s bugging you, so spit it out, what is it?” Sam said brusquely.

Steve sighed. This was the problem with having really good friends—they could just tell when something was wrong. “I’m freaking out, okay,” he finally admitted.

“About…?” Sam pushed.

“Bucky,” Steve replied quietly.

Steve could practically hear Sam frowning. “What about Bucky? Did something happen?”

Steve took a breath. “No, just…you know how you were glad we were taking it slow? Well, apparently I forgot to tell my heart about that and now…” he trailed off. Better not to say it out loud.

“Steve…” Sam said, his voice sympathetic.

“I know!” Steve bit out, exasperated. “This is just what you always warn me about, how I get too involved too quickly, but I can’t seem to stop myself, Sam.”

“So you’re what? Moving to San Francisco?” Sam said, mocking but somehow still kind.

Steve frowned. “No…I’m just taking some time to try and think things through.” He _had_ been thinking, trying to convince himself that his feelings were just his hormones and he wasn’t really in too deep, he was just in the honeymoon phase where everything was heightened and wonderful. It wasn’t working though. He couldn’t push away the thought that he had never felt like this before about anyone.

“Are you going to break up with him?” Sam asked bluntly.

Steve swore he felt a chill run through him at the thought. “No—” he started.

“Well then, come home,” Sam said simply. “You can’t help how you’re feeling, Steve. It’s just who you are and for what it’s worth, Bucky seems like maybe he’s the right person to be feeling this for.”

“He’s going to leave,” Steve said flatly, resigned to his fate. “He’ll leave just like they always do, and you’ll be picking up the pieces again,” Steve warned him. It was just the way it went for him. He poured everything into his relationships—he couldn’t help it—and when they ended he was left empty.

“Steve,” Sam sighed, “you don’t _know_ that. I know I said to be careful, but you have to take the risk too. You know how many idiots I went through before I met Riley?”

Riley was Sam’s boyfriend who was still serving in the Air Force. Steve knew Sam missed him all the time, but Sam always said it was worth it because it was Riley and Riley meant everything to him. Steve wanted that kind of love so badly, but no one had ever seemed to care for him in the same way. With his ex, the relationship had seemed logical, they worked well together, at least for a while, but it wasn’t a passionate, all-consuming soulmate kind of love.

“Just come home. You don’t have to tell him how you’re feeling if you’re not ready or if you think he’s not, it’s okay. Just don’t panic and mess this up for yourself, alright?” Sam continued.

Steve sighed again. “I just don’t want to lose him.” He had lost enough people. He wasn’t sure how many more he could take.

“So don’t,” Sam replied. “You know, the fact that you’re panicking a little is okay. It’s the things that mean the most that scare us. And maybe I’m overstepping, but I know you thought you loved Sharon, but you were never like this with her. You’ve been so happy since you met Bucky and we’ve all been happy to see it.”

Why did Sam always know what to say? Steve _had_ been happy since he met Bucky, happier than he ever remembered being. He couldn’t argue with that. “Okay, okay,” he relented. “I know you’re right. Can you ask Peter to book me a flight for tomorrow?”

“Will do. Just try and relax, okay? It might all work out this time, don’t let yourself sabotage it,” Sam said.

Steve exhaled. “I’ll try.”

When they hung up, Steve pulled up the picture of Bucky and the cat that Bucky had sent him. It made his heart hurt with longing. If he had to risk being hurt again then maybe he could do that. It was Bucky.

 

****

 

Steve arrived home just before six on Friday evening. He unlocked his door to the sound of loud music coming from the living room and left his bag by the door before heading in and was hit with a burst of warmth in his chest.

Bucky was there in the kitchen, his back to the hallway, dancing around a little while cooking. Steve watched him, a smile taking over his face as he took in the perfect scene in front of him. It suddenly didn’t matter that he’d been scared, it was all worth it, so he could see things like this.

“Hey there,” he finally said loudly over the music, causing Bucky to jump out of his skin as he turned in his direction.

He watched as Bucky’s eyes widened and his face lit up, his perfect mouth turning upwards into a smile that took Steve’s breath away.

“Stevie!” He dropped the spoon in his hand onto the counter, clicked the music off, and bounded over to Steve, taking Steve by surprise as he grabbed him round the neck and gave Steve the best welcome home kiss of his life.

Steve wrapped his arms round Bucky’s waist as he returned the kiss, delighting in Bucky’s soft lips and warm hands against his skin. Even just the smallest touch from Bucky was like fireworks setting off sparks across his body.

“You didn’t tell me when you were coming back,” Bucky said, frowning a little as he pulled away.

“I know. I wasn’t sure until yesterday and I wanted to surprise you,” Steve told him, feeling a little guilty for the white lie.

Bucky looked down. “I missed you,” he said softly.

“I definitely missed you more,” Steve said, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s hair, which smelled like Steve’s lemongrass shampoo and was a little damp like Bucky had just had a shower.

“It’s not a competition, Stevie,” Bucky mumbled.

Steve let out a little laugh. “What are you making?” he asked, looking over at the stove.

“Bolognese,” Bucky replied. “You’re lucky I made loads so there’s enough for you, seeing as you didn’t tell me you were coming home,” he muttered.

Steve laughed and looked at him. “You’re not getting the concept of a surprise, are you?”

Bucky ignored him and pulled him down for another kiss. Steve breathed in Bucky’s scent. He had missed him way too much, even if it had only been a few days. Bucky bit lightly on his lip before his tongue found its way into Steve’s mouth and Steve responded in kind, before grabbing Bucky by the waist and lifting him onto the counter, causing a squeak of surprise.

Bucky wrapped his legs round Steve’s waist and Steve pulled him back in and kissed him deeply as Bucky’s hands ran along Steve’s shoulders and back, making Steve shiver a little. God, he’d have to be a moron to run away from this. Bucky was perfect, he was everything. When Bucky started placing little kisses down Steve’s neck, Steve managed to pull away.

“I’m all gross from the plane, baby, I need to shower.”

Bucky full on pouted at him, and squeezed his legs tighter, keeping Steve trapped there.

Steve let out a chuckle. “Come on, baby, we’re going to ruin dinner otherwise.”

Bucky gave him the cutest annoyed look. “Fine,” he relented, releasing Steve. “You shower, I’ll cook.”

He still looked adorably pouty. “Buck…” Steve started.

Bucky pulled himself off the counter and picked up his spoon again. “I see what your priorities are Steve, it’s alright,” he said, waving the spoon in Steve’s direction, before turning his focus to the pot on the stove.

Steve chuckled again and then wrapped his arms round Bucky from behind, nuzzling into his neck, lifting him off his feet.

Bucky let out a giggle. “Oh my god, go! That tickles!”

Steve kissed his ear and then released him, all kinds of feelings flying about, before he headed off to shower.

 

****

 

When Steve walked back into the bedroom after his shower, Bucky was sitting there on the edge of the bed. Steve smiled over at him, before looking through his closet for something comfy to wear. It sort of looked like Bucky had maybe tidied it.

“How’s dinner looking?” he asked, as he pulled out his plaid pyjama bottoms, totally ready for hopefully snuggling with Bucky on the sofa.

“It’s looking good,” Bucky said softly, rising from the bed and wandering over to Steve. He stopped in front of him and lightly ran his hand across Steve’s stomach, tracing his abs.

Steve smiled as he watched Bucky, his touch making Steve’s stomach clench a little. Bucky was quite affectionate in general as a person, Steve had learnt, but the little time apart seemed to have made him even more so.

Bucky looked at the pyjamas in Steve’s hand and then took them, placing them back in the dresser.

“Hey, I was going to wear those,” Steve protested, wondering if Bucky didn’t like them on him.

Bucky shook his head. “Nah, you don’t need them,” he said, his hands making their way to the towel wrapped round Steve’s waist.

Steve watched him, curious, as Bucky started to undo his towel. “What about dinner?” he asked, anticipation flooding his body, his nerves feeling on edge.

“Bolognese can cook for hours, Stevie,” Bucky replied. “Tastes better.” He undid the towel and let it drop to the floor.

Steve stood there naked, while Bucky was fully clothed. “Hey, now, that’s not very fair,” he protested, his hands grazing the t-shirt—one of his t-shirt’s, Steve realised—that Bucky had on.

Bucky immediately pulled the shirt over his head, discarding it to the side. “Better?”

Fuck yes, that was better, Steve thought, staring at Bucky’s chest and the firm muscles there. “A little,” he managed to say with a smirk.

“Maybe I should take these off too?” Bucky suggested, his hand at the button of his jeans.

Steve nodded as he stood there, feeling himself getting hard.

Bucky looked down at Steve’s cock, his pupils getting wider. He licked his lips as he looked, making Steve get even harder, looking at the desire on Bucky’s face. His hand abandoned his jeans, much to Steve’s displeasure, but then Steve forgave him instantly as Bucky’s hand reached out and stroked along Steve’s cock.

Steve let out a little moan. Bucky’s hand was so warm and it felt so good, even as he just lightly stroked him. His eyes fluttered closed at the sensation, only to open a moment later when he heard Bucky dropping to the floor.

“Bucky, what are—” he started, before Bucky took the head of his cock into his mouth, effectively answering Steve’s question.

“Holy fuck,” Steve breathed out as he dropped himself back against the wall behind him. Just that first touch of Bucky’s mouth on him felt so good, and oh god, looking at Bucky down on his knees, his mouth round his cock, was one of the hottest things Steve had ever seen.

Bucky licked down his length, working him with his hand and tongue, spreading wetness down his cock. Steve couldn’t believe this was happening.

“Wait, wait,” he stuttered out and Bucky paused and looked up at him. “Where is Clint?” he asked, remembering being interrupted last time.

“He’s staying at Nat’s” Bucky smirked.

“Why?” Steve asked.

“Because I just made him,” Bucky said, still smirking. “I needed time alone with you.” He ran his tongue up Steve’s cock again, effectively making Steve’s brain switch off.

“Bucky, baby, god…” Steve sputtered out as Bucky’s warm tongue ran along the underside of the tip. “Fuck,” Steve moaned as Bucky took him fully into his mouth, sliding way further down along his cock than Steve would have thought possible. He felt himself nudging at the back of Bucky’s throat and fucking hell, it felt like bliss, Bucky’s lips wrapped so tightly around him, taking him so deep.

Bucky held him there for a moment, before finally starting a rhythm, sliding his way up until just the tip remained in his mouth before swallowing Steve back down again. “Oh god,” Steve choked out. “That feels so good, baby, you’re so good to me, fuck, you’re amazing…” he babbled out as he got lost in the sensation of Bucky sliding his mouth up and down his cock and swirling his tongue around the head.

When Bucky pulled off and gently tongued along Steve’s balls before lightly suctioning one into his mouth, Steve almost fucking lost it. He cried out, pleased he had the wall to support him, cause he was pretty sure he wouldn’t still be standing otherwise. Bucky did the same to the other one, while tunnelling his hand around Steve’s cock at the same time, before moving his mouth back to swallow his cock back down.

Steve was so lost in feeling, his hand moved by itself to settle lightly in Bucky’s hair, stroking through it. He heard Bucky moan around him, the vibrations making Steve jerk his hips a little, before he worked hard to keep himself still. Bucky pulled up off his cock, his tongue firmly working along the underside of the head.

“It’s okay, Steve, use me,” he murmured, looking up at Steve.

Steve wasn’t really functioning. “What?” he choked out.

Bucky wrapped his lips back around the tip of Steve’s cock and Steve groaned again, before Bucky brought his hand up to where Steve’s was in his hair and guided his fingers to tug on it a little, then he stilled his mouth.

Steve practically whimpered as he understood. “Fuck, are you sure, baby?” He felt a warm glow at the thought that Bucky trusted him that much, along with the ridiculous level of arousal coursing through him.

Bucky just moaned around him, slightly nodding his head.

Steve tentatively moved his hips while guiding Bucky’s head with his hand at the same time. He made sure he was gentle and careful, only moving a little. He swore Bucky giggled around his dick, before he put his hand back on Steve’s and guided him to be more forceful. Steve groaned and followed his lead, moving a bit more and pulling a little harder on Bucky’s hair.

Bucky moaned around him again like he liked that, as Steve thrust a little deeper into his mouth, and he swore he got even harder, like that was even possible, at the sight before him. Bucky looked absolutely devastating, Steve had never seen anything sexier and then Bucky looked up and met his eyes and Steve’s heart felt so fucking warm.

Steve started moving his hips a little faster, Bucky clearly being okay with this and taking his cock so well. God, he wasn’t going to last much longer.

As though he could sense it, Bucky pulled off his cock, Steve whimpering as he did. “Can you come twice in one night?”

Steve looked down at him. “Wh-what?” he sputtered out, dying for Bucky to resume what he was doing.

“I’m not going to be done with you after this, so I need to know if I need to stop,” Bucky murmured, licking across the head again.

Steve’s legs quivered at the promise in his voice. “Fuck…no, I can…don’t stop,” he managed as Bucky’s tongue distracted him.

He saw Bucky smile, before he swallowed down Steve’s length again and let Steve re-establish the rhythm he had going. Steve lost himself in the sensations again and it only took a few moments before he could feel himself reaching the edge. As he felt his balls tightening, he pulled out of Bucky’s mouth, accidently shooting his come onto Bucky’s chest and shoulder as his orgasm took over and he came with a groan, the release pure ecstasy after the frankly amazing way Bucky had swallowed him down.

Steve leant against the wall, his eyes closed, his breath coming in gasps as he slowly recovered.

He heard a little laugh from Bucky. “You could have just come in my mouth,” Bucky said.

Steve groaned at the thought of that and opened his eyes to see Bucky looking like a beautiful mess, staring at Steve’s come on his shoulder.

“Jesus, fuck,” Steve swore when Bucky trailed his finger into it and then licked his finger clean. Why was that such a fucking turn on? It did something to the possessive streak in Steve.

Bucky looked up at him, giving him the sexiest smile Steve had ever seen.

“Come here,” Steve requested and Bucky lifted himself from the floor, grabbing Steve’s discarded towel in the process to wipe his chest, before Steve pulled him in for a kiss. “You are incredible,” he murmured. “You’re so good to me, made me feel so amazing,” he said, kissing Bucky again, hard.

Bucky let Steve practically ravish him—he couldn’t seem to stop kissing him, holding Bucky tightly. Steve could feel Bucky hard against him through his jeans as they kissed.

“Maybe you should take those off?” Steve suggested as he broke the kiss, nibbling a little on Bucky’s bottom lip.

“Maybe?” Bucky smirked at him, his hands moving away from Steve towards the button on his jeans again.

Steve fixed him with a dark look—he wasn’t really sure where it came from. “Take them off, Buck,” he ordered.

Bucky smiled slyly at him and then started unbuttoning and unzipping ridiculously slowly, practically jerking the zipper down one zipper tooth at a time. Steve watched, breathing deeply, as a little skin was revealed to him, followed by a dark thatch of hair.

“You going commando, baby?” he choked out.

Bucky grinned at him. “Want me to get you some coffee to spit out?”

Steve growled and practically launched himself at Bucky, his hand wrapping round the back of Bucky’s neck to pull him into an unyielding kiss. He felt stupidly turned on, considering he’d come only a minute ago. He moved them backwards, Bucky stumbling a little, moaning into Steve’s mouth, until he was near enough the bed to push Bucky down onto it and then yanked his jeans off, discarding them onto the floor.

He stared at Bucky lying there on the bed, looking at Steve with what looked like a slightly shocked, but very turned on expression.

“Fuck, Steve,” Bucky said, as Steve stood there taking in Bucky’s beautiful naked form lying on his bed, surprised his brain wasn’t melting. “You’re so hot like this.”

“Like what?” Steve asked, before he climbed onto the bed, one knee on either side of Bucky’s legs, staring down at Bucky, wondering how the hell he got so lucky.

Bucky ran his hands over Steve’s arms. “All bossy and telling me what to do.”

Steve chuckled, running a hand over Bucky’s cheek. “I’m not though, baby, not really. You need to tell me what you want, what you want me to do,” he murmured. He’d do anything Bucky wanted, all he had to do was tell him.

Bucky looked a little nervous suddenly. “Kiss me,” he told Steve.

“You don’t have to tell me to do that,” Steve murmured, lowering his head to capture Bucky’s lips. Bucky’s hands ran up into Steve’s hair, setting off the nerve endings in his scalp, as Steve delved into Bucky’s mouth with his tongue for a long, languid kiss. When Steve broke away from Bucky’s mouth, kissing down his jawline to his neck and then his left ear, Bucky cried out a little and Steve felt him tremble beneath him.

“Steve…” Bucky moaned out as Steve nibbled a little on his earlobe.

Steve supported his weight on one hand and ran the other down Bucky’s chest to graze gently over his right nipple, before gently pinching and rolling it between his fingers. That got Bucky making that whimpering noise that Steve would die for, and he nuzzled into Bucky’s neck, sucking a mark just above his collarbone, making Bucky pant and writhe a little beneath him.

“Please, Stevie, please…” Bucky panted out beneath him.

Steve pulled away from Bucky’s neck to look at him. Bucky was staring at him with the most lustful eyes he’d ever seen. “You want me to touch you?” Steve teased him, running his hand down Bucky’s side.

Bucky shook his head. “No.”

Steve stilled his hand, surprised. “No?” he said, feeling himself frown a little in concern.

Bucky bit down on his lower lip for a moment. “Want you to fuck me,” he said softly.

Steve sort of felt like his heart stopped for a moment. His breath got caught in his throat. He looked at Bucky wide-eyed. “Are you sure, baby?” he asked when he could speak again, his body tingling with hopeful anticipation.

Bucky pulled himself up from the bed, Steve moving backwards as he did so until he was sitting back on his heels, with Bucky sitting up on his knees so they were face to face. “I am so fucking sure,” Bucky told him, before he moved forward to straddle Steve.

Steve moaned as Bucky kissed him, Steve’s hands automatically resting on Bucky’s ass. Bucky pulled on him, manoeuvring him where he wanted him, and Steve let him until he was on his back on the bed and Bucky straddled him again. Steve thought he’d never seen a more magnificent sight than Bucky sitting over him. When Bucky leant forward to kiss him again, Steve felt Bucky’s hard cock press against his stomach and could feel himself starting to get hard again, which had to be some kind of record for him.

“Do you want me to get ready for you?” Bucky murmured to Steve as he pulled his lips away.

Steve thought his brain might be on actual fire and he couldn’t stop a moan coming out his mouth. “Can I?” he asked.

Bucky looked a little surprised when Steve looked up at him. Steve felt a little troubled by the look—it made him think that Bucky hadn’t been cared for or treated right before.

“Let me take care of you,” Steve said, sitting up so he could kiss along Bucky’s neck and chest. He looked into Bucky’s eyes and Bucky nodded at him.

“Lie down for me,” Steve told him gently, and Bucky moved off him.

“Front or back?” Bucky asked him.

“Whichever you’re more comfortable with, baby,” Steve told him, moving to open his nightstand and retrieve the lube and condoms that were buried in there somewhere.

He rolled back to see Bucky had settled on his back, his head against the pillows. Steve moved so he was sitting over Bucky’s knees. He flipped open the lube, applying a liberal amount to his fingers, dropping the bottle on the bed, then leant over Bucky to press light kisses along his cock.

Bucky shivered under him.

“You relax, baby, and you want to stop you tell me, okay?” he told Bucky. He was thrilled Bucky wanted to do this with him, but he needed Bucky to know it was okay if he changed his mind.

Bucky snorted at him. “I’m not some scared little virgin, Steve,” he said, though his tone of voice betrayed him, a little nervousness evident there.

Steve looked up at him, and the look on Bucky’s face softened. “I trust you, Stevie,” he said in that special soft voice that Steve was pretty sure he reserved just for him.

Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky’s hipbone to stop himself saying his thoughts out loud. He guided Bucky to bend his knees and traced his hand down between Bucky’s cheeks until his fingers were lightly ghosting across Bucky’s opening.

Bucky’s breath hitched as Steve touched him, just lightly stroking over the skin there, before Steve used a little more pressure and he watched Bucky moan, his eyes shutting. It was so intimate, doing this, and Steve loved it.

“You’re so perfect, baby,” Steve told him, before gently easing in the tip of one finger, feeling Bucky clench down on him at the intrusion.

Bucky keened a little and Steve kept his eyes on him, making sure it wasn’t too much. He slowly pushed in a little more, until the muscles gave a little and he eased his finger in further. His cock was fully hard now, as he thought about how tight Bucky felt on just his finger and how glorious Steve knew he’d feel on his cock.

Steve reached up and stroked his other hand over Bucky’s cock. “You’re doing so good, baby,” he praised Bucky, as Bucky whimpered at the contact.

He moved his finger gently, feeling Bucky’s tight heat, sliding out just a little and then back in, carefully and softly, repeating the motion.

“Oh god…” Bucky moaned out, his eyes still closed, his hands grasping at the bedcovers.

“You okay, baby?” Steve checked.

“God, yes, I need more, Stevie, please,” Bucky said, opening his eyes to look at Steve.

Steve wanted to thrust in right then, Bucky looked so fucking good, coming apart like this, staring at Steve like he was the best thing he’d ever seen.

Instead, he carefully slid his finger almost all the way out and added a second as he pushed back in. Bucky mewled and his eyes fluttered shut again.

He repeated his gentle motions, while Bucky writhed under him, trying to make him go deeper. Steve chuckled. “Patience, baby, I’ll get you there.”

Bucky whined at him.

Steve gently scissored his fingers, feeling a little stretch, stroking down Bucky’s cock with his other hand, while Bucky cried out at the feeling. God, Bucky’s noises were like some kind of addictive drug to Steve—one hit and he was fucking _gone_.

“More,” Bucky whinged at him.

“You want another?” Steve asked.

Bucky grunted in approval. “You’ve got a big fucking cock, Steve,” he huffed.

Steve laughed. “Whatever you need, baby.”

By the time Steve was working three fingers in and out of Bucky, Bucky looked like a mess. He was practically sobbing at Steve, biting at his own fingers to stop himself crying out, as Steve angled his fingers to brush over Bucky’s prostate again and again.

“Do you want me to make you come like this?” Steve asked as Bucky pushed back against him.

Bucky shook his head against the pillows. “No,” he whined out. “Want to come on your cock.”

Steve’s dick jerked. He was hard as a fucking rock now. “I’ll give you whatever you want, Buck,” he said, gently pulling his fingers free.

“Nooo…” Bucky moaned at the loss.

“You want my cock, remember,” Steve teased him.

Bucky nodded eagerly, his eyes opening to watch Steve as he reached for a condom, before ripping it open and rolling it onto his dick. Steve coated himself with more lube before moving up Bucky’s body to kiss him.

He captured Bucky’s mouth, trying to pour all his affection for Bucky into one kiss, before kissing his way down Bucky’s neck and lining himself up.

Bucky quivered underneath him when Steve’s cock nudged up against him. Steve pushed in slowly, as slowly as he could, giving Bucky time to adjust to him before the muscles relaxed and the head of his cock was enveloped in Bucky’s tight channel.

“Oh, fucking christ…” Steve breathed out at the pressure around his dick, dropping his forehead down on Bucky’s shoulder. He hadn’t had sex in a stupidly long time and Bucky felt so good it was frankly overwhelming.

He pushed forward just a little more and Bucky gasped, breathing deeply beneath him. Steve looked up. “You okay, baby?”

Bucky ran his hands down over Steve’s arms, his head thrown back, eyes fluttering closed. “More,” he moaned out.

Steve’s arms tingled at the contact and he pushed in more, still going slow, until Bucky wrapped a leg around him and pushed against Steve’s ass, making him sink down into Bucky completely, eliciting a groan from both of them.

Bucky’s tight heat surrounded Steve, squeezing around him and Steve was right about it feeling fucking glorious. His heart was pounding at the sensation and Bucky was moaning beneath him and Steve was perfectly sure he never wanted to leave this moment.

“Baby, you feel so amazing, god you’re so tight…” Steve mumbled as he kissed along Bucky’s collarbone.

“Stevie, please…fuck me…” Bucky pleaded, gasping.

Steve kept kissing along Bucky’s chest before he started to move his hips, sliding his cock back slowly, Bucky so tight around him, until just the head was still inside, before he pushed in again, in a slow, long stroke, Bucky’s cock pressing against Steve’s stomach as he did. Bucky mewled as he did it again, lifting his hips to meet Steve’s thrust, forcing Steve deeper.

“More…” Bucky groaned out at him. Steve obliged, thrusting in a little harder, deeper and faster. “Jesus, fuck, that feels so good…” Bucky keened.

Steve started a firm, deep rhythm, panting as he held himself up, sinking into Bucky over and over again, feeling himself quiver at how good it felt, his mind practically whiting out. He wanted to touch Bucky, tell him how good he felt, but he couldn’t focus on anything in that moment, completely lost in the feeling of Bucky clenching around him and the fucking gorgeous sounds Bucky was making as he lifted up to meet Steve’s thrusts. Steve felt Bucky running his hands through his hair, making his scalp tingle. It made him thrust harder. Bucky cried out under him.

He wrapped his hands behind Steve’s neck, body jerking as Steve thrust into him. “Stevie, sit up,” Bucky moaned at him.

Hearing his name brought Steve back to himself. He did as Bucky asked, he’d do anything Bucky asked. Steve whined as the movement pulled him from Bucky, as he sat back on his heels.

“Turn round,” Bucky told him, as he rose from the bed. “Sit on the edge of the bed.”

Steve did as he was told, dying to get back inside Bucky, moving round and putting his feet on the floor, before Bucky appeared in front of him and straddled him.

Steve moaned, grabbing Bucky’s ass as Bucky raised himself up, taking Steve’s cock in his hand, before impaling himself back onto it with a heady moan.

“Holy fuck…” Steve stuttered out as Bucky took him in one smooth motion.

Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve, his head nestled against Steve’s neck as he raised his hips up and lowered them down, again and again. Steve could feel Bucky’s cock pressed against him, trapped between them. He sucked little kisses into Bucky’s neck, drawing his favourite whimpers from Bucky’s mouth. God, Bucky was too fucking smart—this position was so fucking perfect, he felt so wrapped up in Bucky and he could touch every inch of him and he felt so close to him, it was unbelievable.

He started snapping his hips up to meet Bucky’s thrusts, using his hands on Bucky’s ass to pull him down a little deeper, angling him a little so he knew he’d hit Bucky’s sweet spot.

Bucky pulled his head away when Steve did that, crying out Steve’s name in between swear words.

Steve moved his head forward, nipping at Bucky’s lips, before Bucky closed the distance between them and they kissed deeply, Bucky holding onto his neck, helping to stop the movement of their thrusts interfering with their lips meeting.

Bucky bit down on his lip and Steve pulled away with a little surprised yelp. He looked to see Bucky staring back at him, still rising and falling on his cock, panting with the feeling. Steve loved the eye contact, he felt so connected to Bucky, and god he loved him so fucking much.

Steve let out a panicked breath as that thought overtook him and grabbed Bucky round the waist, flipping him back onto his back, managing to stay inside him, leaning over him. He thrust harder into Bucky, causing him to make these little gasps with every thrust of Steve’s cock inside him.

“Fuck, I’m so close…” Bucky choked out, his fingers digging into Steve’s back.

“God yes, baby, come for me, wanna feel you…” Steve moaned back at him, feeling close himself.

He kept driving into Bucky, practically pounding him into the mattress now, Bucky keening each time he slid against his prostate. He reached between them to stroke Bucky’s cock, fairly certain Bucky didn’t really need him to, what with the sounds he was making.

“Fuck, Steve, fuck…” Bucky kept punctuating each of Steve’s thrusts before he gripped Steve’s back so tightly, Steve knew he’d leave marks, and then stiffened beneath him. Steve felt him clenching around his cock so tightly Steve thought he might die, as Bucky let out a sharp exhale of breath as white streaks of come covered his stomach.

Steve followed only seconds later, the feeling of Bucky coming around his cock too much for him, as he felt himself drop over the edge, coming with a guttural moan, filling the condom with his release, collapsing his weight down on top of Bucky, completely enraptured.

“Stevie,” Bucky’s voice broke through his haze what must have been a few minutes later. “That was incredible, but you’re really heavy.”

Steve opened his eyes with the realisation that he was sort of crushing Bucky. His softening cock slipped from Bucky as he raised himself up, getting a little moan out of Bucky.

“Sorry, baby,” he said as he rolled over to lie next to Bucky, removing the condom carefully and tying it off, throwing it towards the bin next to his nightstand. His stomach was sticky with come where he’d been pressed against Bucky but he didn’t really care. He rolled onto his side to look at Bucky, who had done the same and was watching him, looking totally dishevelled. He was the sexiest thing in the world.

Steve ran his hand under Bucky’s chin, guiding him into a deep kiss. “God, baby, that was just…” he broke off. He didn’t really have words to describe it.

Bucky pulled himself forward, nestling into the nook at Steve’s shoulder and neck, as Steve moved onto his back. Steve stroked his hand through Bucky’s hair.

“Never been like that before,” Bucky murmured quietly.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked softly, still stroking through Bucky’s hair.

Bucky nuzzled against him. “Just felt really safe with you,” he said, so quietly Steve could only just hear him.

Steve practically crushed his arms around Bucky, holding him closely, completely intent on making Bucky feel warm and loved and protected.

Bucky chuckled into Steve’s neck.

“Let’s stay like this for a little bit,” Steve requested, feeling like there was no more perfect moment in the world than cuddling with Bucky.

“Okay, Stevie,” he heard Bucky say quietly, as they lay there in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah it's like 2,000 words of sort of plot followed by 4,000 of porn. Kinda wanted to call this chapter Panic and Porn.
> 
> Love hearing what you think, so comment me up :)


	12. Tony throws friendsgiving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Bucky's stay with Steve, Thanksgiving and freakouts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there is some angst in this chapter.

Steve sat on the sofa with Bucky snuggled in his arms. It was Saturday afternoon and they were watching some action movie about a guy who made a suit out of iron or something. Steve wasn’t really paying attention, he was just enjoying spending time alone with Bucky seeing as Clint hadn’t come back yet.

The night before had been so perfect, Steve could barely think about it without getting hard or getting that damn moony look on his face. Just looking at Bucky was a reminder of it—he had a couple of hickeys just showing at his collarbone above his shirt and some beard burn along his neck where Steve had been a little too enthusiastic. Steve felt a little guilty about that, but even guiltier about the fact that he loved it—that little reminder that Bucky was his. When they’d eventually untangled themselves, Steve had wondered if there was anything Bucky couldn’t do because when they’d finally got round to dinner, his bolognese was incredible.

Still, there was something playing on his mind that he wanted to ask Bucky about. He’d not wanted to ruin the night before by discussing it, but he’d been working up to it all morning now.

“Buck?”

“Mmm?” Bucky replied, eyes focused on the movie.

“When was your last relationship?” Steve asked carefully, using the question as a starting off point.

Bucky seemed to be thinking for a minute. “Ended about seven months before I met you,” he said, eyes still on the TV.

“How long were you together?” Steve followed up.

Bucky reached for the remote and paused the movie, turning to look at Steve. “What is this about, Steve?”

“I just want to know more about you,” Steve said gently. Bucky got so shy sometimes, almost cautious, that Steve couldn’t help wondering what had happened, especially after Clint’s comments on his ex.

Bucky looked a little perturbed. “About a year.” He fixed his eyes on Steve. “What about you? Thor said you’d been single for over a year, but how long were you and your ex together?”

Steve sighed. “So you did hear that in the bar.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Of course I heard it, Thor’s not really the definition of quiet.”

“Me and Sharon were together for just over two years,” Steve answered, figuring if he was asking Bucky about his relationships then Bucky had every right to ask him.

Bucky frowned. “Your ex was a girl?”

Steve bristled a little. “Yeah, does that bother you?” he asked carefully. Sharon hadn’t really liked that he was attracted to guys too.

“No, just didn’t know that,” Bucky replied, no longer frowning. “Why did you break up?”

Steve shrugged, feeling a little uncomfortable revisiting it. “Wasn’t working. She didn’t like how much time I spent working and I didn’t feel supported by her.” That was the nice version of the story. Steve had only realised the second part months after she’d left him. “What about you?”

Bucky sighed. “Finally realised what a dick he was.”

“Is that why—”

Bucky cut him off. “Why I wanted to go slow? Yeah, pretty much. I just wasn’t sure if I could trust myself.”

Steve pondered his words. He didn’t say he couldn’t trust someone else, he said himself. “Did he hurt you a lot?” Steve asked gently.

Bucky sighed. “I mean, at the time, yeah. I can look back now and wonder what the hell I was thinking, which I guess is why I didn’t really trust myself getting into something again,” Bucky told him. “It was just all about him, you know? I didn’t realise at the time, but it wasn’t a real relationship, it was more like I was there whenever he wanted sex and I got sucked in thinking he gave a shit. I guess eventually the fog sort of cleared and I realised what an idiot I’d been.”

Steve literally couldn’t fathom someone treating Bucky, the sweetest, most amazing person he’d ever met, like that and he really wished he knew who this guy was so he could—

“No Steve, I don’t need you to go kill him for me,” Bucky said, breaking Steve out of his thoughts, somehow reading his mind or maybe just the murderous look on his face. “I’m really okay. Just a little gun shy.” He paused, looking down. “In the back of my mind I sort of expected you to get up and leave straight after yesterday...but you stayed and practically suffocated me with cuddles...” he confessed, trailing off. Bucky took Steve’s hand. “You’re just kinda amazing, it’s still sort of blowing my mind.”

Steve squeezed his hand, looking into Bucky’s eyes, pleased Bucky had opened up to him. “You’re the amazing one, Buck, god, look at how well you treat me. You never get mad when I have to work and you remember the coffee I like and go all the way to Brooklyn for my favourite cinnamon rolls—”

“I live in Brooklyn, remember?” Bucky smirked at him.

Steve put his hand on Bucky’s face. “Still. You’re so thoughtful and sweet and I’m just trying to keep up with you.”

“It’s not a competition, Stevie,” Bucky teased, before leaning in and giving Steve one of his soft signature kisses, that Steve had come to adore because Bucky only gave him those when he was being his absolute sweetest with Steve.

God, Steve had to bite his lip to stop himself telling Bucky how much he loved him. The words kept trying to make their way out of his mouth, but he was terrified of scaring Bucky away.

Thankfully, a knock on the door ruined the moment they’d been having.

“Bucky!” Clint yelled through the door. “Have you finished screwing Steve yet?”

Steve scrambled to his feet and ran over to open the door to find Clint standing there. “I have neighbours, Clint!” he scolded him as he walked in.

Clint headed over to Bucky. “So, did you guys have a good evening?” he asked, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Steve screwed me till I couldn’t walk straight,” Bucky replied, un-pausing the movie.

“Bucky! God, too much information!” Clint said in horror, holding his hands up.

“Don’t ask then,” Bucky said with an evil smile while Steve went bright red and wanted to disappear.

“Ooh, I love this movie,” Clint said flopping down next to Bucky, stealing Steve’s seat.

Steve frowned and then another knock on the door surprised him. He went to open it to find Sam standing there.

“Sam? Were we supposed to do something today?” he asked, racking his brain for any previous conversation about that.

“Just came to see how you were doing,” Sam said, a slightly worried look on his face as Steve gestured for him to come in.

“I’m fine, everything’s okay,” Steve told him, shutting the door as Sam made his way to the living room. He was touched that Sam had come over to check. He really was the best friend a guy could have.

“Oh hey, Bucky,” Sam said, a wide smile appearing on his face as he looked over at Steve.

“This is Clint,” Steve told him, and Sam walked over to shake Clint’s hand.

“Do all his friends look like this?” Clint whispered loudly to Bucky.

Sam chuckled as Bucky said yes, and then noticed what they were watching. He sat down next to Clint on the sofa. “I love this movie. I like the second one better though.”

Steve watched as Bucky and Clint turned to stare at him in disbelief and then they all started arguing the merits of the first, second and apparently third movie in the series, because apparently one was not enough for Hollywood.

Steve watched them, feeling a little fond of all three of them. Okay, a lot fond of Bucky. He made his way to the kitchen and found popcorn to microwave for them, having no doubt that they were now having a movie marathon for the rest of the afternoon.

 

****

 

Steve woke up wrapped around Bucky. As his brain woke up he realised with sadness that it was the last day of Bucky and Clint staying there. He was so mad at himself for missing out on the evenings he could have had with Bucky when he was freaking out in San Francisco.

Bucky shifted in his arms, stretching a little. Steve pulled him back tighter into his arms.

“Stevie,” Bucky said, his voice croaky. “Why are you crushing me?”

“Just like you,” Steve murmured, smelling Bucky’s hair.

Bucky let out a soft breath. “Okay,” he said drowsily, settling back to sleep.

Steve just stayed there holding him, letting Bucky sleep more. He deserved it—he was always working so hard. Steve let himself take in every part of Bucky’s beautiful face. He watched how his long eyelashes fluttered as he slept and listened to his soft breathing from his perfect pink lips. He let himself breathe in time with Bucky. It was almost like meditation, Steve felt so calm.

Bucky woke up properly an hour or so later. He stretched out, pushing his ass back into Steve. Steve thought it was by accident until Bucky did it again, more purposefully this time, Steve starting to get a little hard against him.

Bucky let out a little “mmm” noise at him. “Steve?” he murmured.

“Morning, baby,” Steve said, softly kissing the slight redness that remained on Bucky’s neck.

“Wanna help start my day off right?” Bucky murmured at him.

“What did you have in mind?” Steve asked softly, nuzzling Bucky’s neck.

“Just your dick inside me right now,” Bucky said back.

Steve felt all his blood rushing south. “Jesus, Bucky,” he choked out.

Bucky pushed back, rubbing against Steve again. “I’m waiting,” he said impatiently.

Steve groaned and reached over to open his nightstand. When he looked in he noticed a little stack of money sitting there that he hadn’t left there. “Baby, what’s this?” he asked Bucky.

Bucky shifted his head round to look and sighed. “Oh, that. I forgot to tell you off for that. That’s the money you left before you went away.”

“You didn’t use it?” Steve hadn’t really thought about it, he’d assumed it had been used to buy food or something.

Bucky sighed again and untangled himself from Steve, flopping down onto his back. “No, Steve, I didn’t use five hundred dollars in three days. And once again, you have to stop with the money thing.”

He sounded slightly annoyed more than mad at him, Steve thought. “It was just in case there was an emergency or something.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Does this count as a stupid thing that I have to make up to you?” Steve asked him, head spinning with ideas that involved Bucky being naked.

Bucky cracked a smile. “Oh I see what you’re doing, Steve, purposely trying to mess up, aren’t you?”

Steve laughed softly.

“Well, seeing as I already want you to fuck me right now, you’ll have to come up with something else to make it up to me later,” Bucky told him decisively.

Steve groaned at his words and reached for Bucky, yanking him back into his arms.

 

****

 

Steve found himself getting sadder and sadder throughout the day. His morning had turned out incredible, then he’d taken Bucky and Clint out for brunch, and then they’d gone to see the newest movie from the people who made the superhero ones that Bucky and Clint liked. Steve had to admit he enjoyed it—it was pretty funny, even if he didn’t totally understand the background of the guy with the hammer.

When they got home, Steve even played on the Switch with them, before offering that they take it with them. Clint had been thrilled until Bucky refused, but he eventually relented and thanked Steve once they decided that Bucky and Clint would just be borrowing it for a while. Clint was so happy, he hugged Steve.

When Bucky and Clint made him a thank you dinner, for having them to stay, Steve felt a little choked up. As they packed, Steve resisted the urge to pull Bucky’s things back out his bag and put them back in his drawer where they belonged. After they’d packed, Clint left them alone so he could take one last bath in what he called “Steve’s bathtub of dreams”.

Steve wrapped his arms round Bucky once Clint left. “Thanks for dinner, sweetheart. You know, I still need to make it up to you for the money thing,” he reminded Bucky, suggestively.

“Hmmm…” Bucky said as though he was considering his options. “Actually, there is something I want.”

Steve smiled. “And what’s that?”

Bucky looked up at him, looking a little serious. “I want you to draw something for me.”

Steve was surprised. He didn’t think that was where this was going.

“I’ve only seen your stuff that Nat’s shown me. You don’t even have any of your own art up here,” Bucky continued.

That was true. Steve didn’t display his art at home. He had a few pieces up by other artists and a couple of photos of his friends in frames but nothing he’d done. It wasn’t that he wasn’t proud of some of his work, it just felt a little egotistical to put it up.

“Okay,” Steve agreed, because again he was powerless to say no to Bucky and it was actually really nice that Bucky wanted a piece by him. “What do you want me to draw?”

“Whatever you want,” Bucky replied.

Steve nodded and went to retrieve his sketchbook and pencils from his room. When he returned, Bucky had settled down on the sofa with one of his textbooks, apparently content to leave Steve to it.

Steve sat at the table and glanced over at Bucky, an idea already forming, as he started working on a cartoon style drawing. He drew Bucky in a lab, mixing test tubes and bottles with his hair sticking up and soot on his clothes like he’d just accidentally exploded something. He took his time on it, losing himself in drawing, before he was finally happy and went over to present it to Bucky.

Bucky laughed when he saw it. “That’s incredible, Stevie,” he said, his face filled with happiness as he poured over the detail of the drawing.

“I’ll grab you a folder for it,” Steve suddenly thought aloud, heading to his room to get a plastic sleeve to protect the picture so Bucky could take it with him.

He realised his mistake when he came back and saw Bucky looking through the rest of his sketchbook. Bucky was so curious about everything and Steve hadn’t said he couldn’t look. Bucky was running his hand across a page and Steve knew it must be one of the pages of the more lifelike drawings of Bucky that he had done. One of the _several_ pages of Bucky sketches that were in the sketchbook. Steve couldn’t interpret the look on Bucky’s face.

“Hey, Bucky, are you ready to go?” Clint said from behind Steve as he entered the room. Steve had insisted on calling a cab for them to get home and he realised when he looked at the clock that it would be there in a few minutes.

Bucky nodded and closed the sketchbook, leaving it on the sofa, noticing Steve was back, but not saying anything about the sketches.

“Thanks again, Steve,” Clint told him. “The craphole is going to really seem like a craphole after staying here,” he joked.

“Sorry, Clint,” Steve said, still looking at Bucky who was gathering his things and pulling on his jacket and shoes.

Bucky stopped in front of Steve and gave him a quick hug. “Yeah, thanks Steve,” he said.

“I’ll walk down with you,” Steve offered.

“Nah, we got it,” Bucky replied, pulling his bag onto his shoulder. “See you soon,” he said as Clint opened the door.

Steve didn’t like the vagueness of that, but he stayed silent as Bucky and Clint left, Clint giving him a wave as they went.

Steve closed the door behind them, feeling a little sick as he looked over at the sofa to the sketchbook—the drawing that Bucky had left behind within.

 

****

 

Steve didn’t hear from Bucky that night or the next morning. That wasn’t that unusual, they weren’t in constant contact, but that was before they’d slept together and Steve was starting to freak out anyway. He tried to focus on work until he realised it was almost seven and he was on his own in the office and he finally broke.

He texted Bucky to see if he wanted to do something on Wednesday evening. Bucky replied after fifteen minutes.

 **Bucky:** Can’t, travelling to New Haven with Nat for thanksgiving

Right. Steve had forgotten it was Thanksgiving on Thursday. Tony was throwing a “friendsgiving” as he liked to call it, like he’d done every year for the past six years.

Steve felt a flood of disappointment go through him.

 **Steve:** Okay, see you when you get back?

He wondered if the question mark was too much, was it too needy?

 **Bucky:** Yeah, happy holidays x

Steve felt anxiety rising up in him. Maybe it didn’t mean anything, maybe Bucky was just busy or maybe Steve was reading too much into a text where he couldn’t sense the tone through the screen, but Bucky’s reply didn’t sound good.

The drawings must have freaked him out. He must know how Steve felt about him and realised he didn’t feel the same and was finding a way to let him down easy, or maybe he was just going to pull away slowly by not contacting Steve.

Steve wasn’t sure if he was breathing right anymore, he felt so sick. He grabbed his things and practically bolted from the office. He walked home, making it there ten minutes quicker than usual, but didn’t want to go back up to his empty apartment.

Instead he kept walking. He ended up walking all the way to the Brooklyn Bridge and got about halfway across before he finally stopped, looking towards the familiar Brooklyn skyline.

He was suddenly struck by the hard thought that he missed his mother. She would have been able to talk him down and offer her always somehow spot on advice. He sat down on one of the benches, lost in memories of her, and watched as tourists walked along, gushing as they took in the city lights at night, while he sat alone.

 

****

 

Steve tried hard to not be miserable at Thanksgiving, he really did, he didn’t want to ruin it for anyone, but Sam and Wanda apparently knew him too well. They kept giving him looks across the table. He hadn’t heard from Bucky. The more he thought about that, the more depressed he got.

Tony congratulated himself for doing a great job again, though everyone knew it was really Pepper who organised everything. They were surprisingly traditional, having everyone bring a dish with them, rather than having the meal catered.

Pietro and Bruce were also at the table, the others having plans with family or other halves. It was a nice, small group, but Steve couldn’t help but feel a pang every time Tony leant over to kiss Pepper.

Partway through the meal, Tony checked his phone and then dinged a spoon against his glass. “Okay freeloaders, it’s time to say what we’re thankful for.”

“But we haven’t finished the food,” Pietro complained. He’d been to two of Tony’s friendsgivings and Steve knew he remembered that they usually did their thanks after eating. Steve put his fork down, wondering why Tony was changing it up.

“Humour me,” Tony said, before looking over at Wanda who was on his left.

“Okay,” she started, “I am very thankful for my friends and my family,” Wanda said simply, raising her glass at them all, “and that these days those seem to be the same thing.”

Tony clutched his chest. “Oh Wanda, it’s like beautiful word shrapnel piercing my heart.”

Wanda threw a bread roll at him.

Sam was up next. “I’m thankful for my friends and family too. And Riley. I miss him and hope he’s keeping safe.” He raised his glass up.

“On that note,” Tony said, standing up and heading for the door. He opened it with a flourish to reveal Riley standing there.

Sam looked completely flabbergasted. “Riley?” Sam got to his feet like he couldn’t believe it.

Steve was stunned. Tony had obviously arranged this and not told anyone. Sometimes Steve forgot how sweet Tony could be. He broke into a wide smile as Sam crushed his arms around Riley and watched as they held each other. Steve started to feel a little choked up. He could see tears at the corners of Riley’s eyes.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Steve said when they all got up to greet Riley, which was made a little difficult because Sam wasn’t letting go of him.

Steve couldn’t help himself and snapped a picture of the two of them.

They spent the rest of the day with Sam attached to Riley’s side, apparently unable or unwilling to let go of him while they all caught up. It made Steve’s heart happy to see his friends so happy, he was almost able to forget about his worries about his own relationship.

Sam and Riley left early. They hadn’t seen each other in so long and Steve was sort of surprised they lasted at Tony’s as long as they did. Steve hugged them both. His thoughts started turning to Bucky again. He went to Tony’s kitchen to start on the dishes, slipping away from the others.

“You know, I think Tony hires people to do that,” Wanda commented, surprising him as she joined him in the kitchen.

Steve shrugged. “I don’t mind. It’s good to be useful.”

Wanda sighed at him and sat down on one of the kitchen stools. “What’s wrong, Steve?”

He didn’t bother saying “nothing”—Wanda could read him too well. Instead, he stopped doing dishes and slid onto a stool next to her, confessing the whole thing to her.

“Oh, Steve,” she said sympathetically, “I think you’re reading too much into this.”

“You think?” he said, sounding a little more disbelieving than he meant to. “He hasn’t even sent me a Happy Thanksgiving message.”

“Did you send him one?” she asked.

“No,” Steve confessed, a little shamefaced. He’d been too scared to. He was certain he’d sit around all day waiting for a reply that wouldn’t come.

“Steve,” she admonished him. “Send him something. If you don’t get a reply then maybe you’ll know something is wrong. Isn’t that better than wondering and tying yourself up in knots?”

Steve had been planning on avoiding confirmation as long as possible so he could still keep a little hope in the back of his mind, but he supposed she was right.

“Fine. I’ll send him the picture of Sam and Riley. He likes Sam, he’ll be happy for them.” He pulled out his phone and did so.

 **Steve:** Look who came home for a week! Happy Thanksgiving! Are you having a good time?

He figured that sounded casual enough. He put his phone away and Wanda forced him back into the main room with the others and kept an eye on him, making sure he was staying involved instead of brooding. He checked his phone whenever she wasn’t looking right at him.

By the time Steve got home that night, he’d probably checked his phone eighty-seven times and there was nothing from Bucky.

 

****

 

Steve spent Friday in bed. He’d given his staff the Friday off so they could have a long holiday weekend. He hadn’t felt this bad in years. Instead of dealing with it, he opened a bottle of whiskey.

Only Wanda texted him. He texted back briefly saying he was fine.

 

****

 

Steve did much the same on Saturday, except he spent it on the sofa, buried under blankets and forgoed the whiskey due to his pounding headache. At one point a scratching noise distracted him and he looked over to see the gray cat at his terrace door.

Steve spent the rest of the afternoon with the cat curled up on his lap.

A knock at the door awoke both him and the cat, the cat digging its claws into Steve in surprise before jumping off him, as Steve realised he must have nodded off.

Steve sighed and pulled himself up, still wrapped in a blanket and bleary from sleep, to open the door.

“Hey, Steve.”

Steve thought he might be hallucinating, because Bucky was standing there in his doorway, holding a pie.

“Buck? What are you—” Steve stumbled over the words.

“I left my phone at home by accident when I went to Nat’s parent’s house,” Bucky said, looking shamefaced. “I just got back. Nat’s parent’s gave me the pie,” he said, lifting the pie in his hands a little. “Can I come in?” he asked, and Steve realised he’d just been standing there dumbly.

“Uh, sure,” he said, moving out of the way. Bucky stepped inside and Steve closed the door.

“Are you mad?” Bucky asked him, his face unhappy.

“No,” Steve shook his head. He wasn’t sure what he was. He wanted to be relieved, but all he felt was anxiety.

“Are you sick?” Bucky followed up as they stood in the hallway looking at each other.

“No?” Steve said, wondering why he’d asked.

“You’re just all wrapped up and you’re kinda looking rough,” Bucky said by way of explanation. “No offence,” he added quickly.

Steve looked down at himself, having forgot he was bundled in a blanket and wearing the same sweats and t-shirt he’d been wearing the day before. “Oh, no, I was just…sleeping,” he said lamely, finally moving towards the living room, with Bucky following.

“Oh,” Bucky’s voice went up in pitch, “kitty’s here!” He put the pie down on the kitchen counter and moved over the play with the cat that had settled itself back on Steve’s sofa.

Steve watched him, Bucky’s face lighting up as he stroked the cat, dropping to his knees next to the sofa. He wasn’t really sure what to make of anything. Bucky forgot his phone so he didn’t mean to ignore him, but the days before when he’d had his phone, Steve still remembered the messages that had seemed so cold and not Bucky-like.

Bucky looked over at Steve as he stood there watching him. His face fell and he paused playing with the cat. “You _are_ mad,” he said, frowning.

“No,” Steve shook his head again, “I’m just a bit confused.”

Bucky stood up. “I told you, I forgot my phone.”

“Yeah, but before that…” Steve started. Maybe he was being an idiot, making a big deal out of things.

Bucky walked over to him. “Before that what?” he prompted, stopping in front of Steve.

Steve sighed. He should just say it. “The sketchbook, did it freak you out?” he finally asked directly.

“No,” Bucky said, not sounding honest. Steve gave him a dubious look and Bucky sighed. “Okay, yes.”

God, Steve knew it, he was such an idiot, he’d gone and scared Bucky off.

Bucky took his hand lightly, surprising Steve. His hand tingled like it had missed his touch.

“They were amazing, I just…I got scared,” Bucky admitted to him, sounding anxious.

“I swear I wasn’t trying to be creepy or something,” Steve said quickly.

Bucky gave him a small smile. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just…” He broke off for a moment and let go of Steve’s hand, shoving both hands into his jacket pockets. “No one sees me the way you do, Stevie, I just…I don’t know if I’m worth all this, like the person you drew in those pictures is a lot to live up to.”

Steve felt completely astonished. Bucky wasn’t freaked out because he’d figured out how much Steve cared, he’d freaked out because he wasn’t _used_ to someone caring. “Buck, are you crazy?” he said gently. “You’re incredible.”

Bucky looked down at the floor.

“We haven’t really known each other that long, but every day I learn new things about you and my life is just so much better because I know you,” Steve continued, as Bucky lifted his eyes to meet Steve’s. “You’re amazing and you’re…well, you’re pretty important to me.”

Bucky looked a little bashful. “I…I’m sorry I got scared,” Bucky told him, moving his hand to push his hair back.

Steve pulled Bucky into his arms, which meant he wrapped his blanket around both of them. “I thought I was gonna lose you,” Steve confessed quietly to him, his chin on Bucky’s shoulder.

“I’m not planning on going anywhere,” Bucky said as he pulled back, his arms round Steve’s waist.

Steve looked into his eyes and saw so much genuine affection there, the relief that flooded his whole body was almost overwhelming. He kissed Bucky’s temple.

“Is that why you sorta look like you haven’t showered in three days?” Bucky asked him, a little mischievous spark in his eyes.

“It’s only been two days,” Steve retorted.

“Hmmm…you’re kinda smelly, but for real this time,” Bucky half smiled at him.

Steve gave him a little fake scowl before brushing his hand down the side of Bucky’s face and giving him a soft smile. “Just talk to me next time, okay?” he asked gently. “If anything’s bothering you or if I do something dumb or something that upsets you, I want you to tell me, okay?”

Bucky nodded at him, looking a little remorseful. “I will. I’m sorry…I’m just not used to this. Feelings haven’t really been a thing in my relationships, I just kinda bottle stuff up, it’s sort of how I deal with things.”

Steve brushed his fingers into Bucky’s hair. “The thing is…you don’t have to. I want to know whatever you’re feeling—good, bad, weird, everything,” Steve promised him.

Bucky nodded at him, looking so much happier than when he’d arrived. “Well then, I feel like you really should take a shower.”

Steve let out a breath. “Jerk.”

 

****

 

Steve did go to shower. When he returned, Bucky was dancing round his kitchen again, heating up the pie in the oven. He saw Steve come in but didn’t stop dancing this time—instead he reached out for Steve, making grabby motions with his fingers.

Steve walked over to him, a huge smile on his face, watching Bucky’s hips sway in time to the music, somehow straddling the line between adorable and sexy. Of course, dancing was just another thing Bucky was good at.

Bucky reached for Steve and linked his fingers with Steve’s, pulling him forward, trying to force him into dancing. Steve laughed and let Bucky drag him around, a little unresponsive at first until he finally gave in and started dancing too, far less coordinated than Bucky.

Bucky moved with him, looking stupidly happy when Steve started dancing. Steve’s heart felt so full, he couldn’t stop the beaming smile on his face, laughing when Bucky grabbed his other hand and pulled them towards each other before swaying out, doing exaggerated cheesy dance moves.

They kept dancing till the end of the song, when Bucky pulled Steve back towards him, his fingers carding through the back of Steve’s hair as he pressed those flawless lips of his to Steve’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually like Sharon (minus Steve kiss) so feel bad for making her the evil ex-girlfriend. Also I know I gave Steve a Bucky line, but it worked better that way.
> 
> Oh and in case you like a soundtrack like me, Bucky and Steve were dancing to I Will Break Your Heart by Busted (which sounds like a weird choice, but sounds kinda 80s style and I think this as a movie would have an 80s style soundtrack for some reason) ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	13. Steve and Bucky's weekend away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have a weekend in the Hamptons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bring you porn - both property and the other kind.
> 
> This is the Hamptons house I imagine them staying at. Holy crap.  
>    
> 
> 
> [Hamptons house](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/20-Hook-Pond-Ln-East-Hampton-NY-11937/32651019_zpid/?fullpage=true)

Steve was stupidly happy when he hung up the phone with Tony. When he walked back into his living room, Bucky looked over at him from where he was studying at the dining table.

“What are you so happy about?” Bucky asked him.

Steve walked over until he was behind Bucky’s chair and planted a kiss on the top of his head, while Bucky craned his neck to look up at him. “You’re still free this weekend right?” Steve checked.

“Yeah, I switched my shift, remember?” Bucky said as Steve slid into the chair next to him.

It had been a couple of weeks since Thanksgiving, and Steve was finally going to make good on the promise he’d made when he went to San Francisco that they’d do something special when he came back. He considered sex with Bucky to be the most special thing in the world, and it was mind-blowing every time they did it, but that wasn’t what he’d meant when he’d promised that.

“Good. I’m going to pick you up at your place at a ridiculously early time on Friday,” Steve grinned.

Bucky frowned at him. “How ridiculously early?”

“Oh, probably around six. Got to make the most of the weekend. Oh and pack a bag,” Steve added, still grinning.

Bucky looked at him suspiciously. “Why? Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise!” Steve said joyfully.

“What is it with you and surprises?” Bucky said, looking disapproving.

Steve just leant in and kissed him. He still loved that he could just _do_ that. The butterflies he felt when he looked at Bucky hadn’t gone away, but they’d settled into their relationship and Steve loved that he was free to kiss or hold Bucky without feeling nervous. After Thanksgiving, Bucky had opened up more too. He wasn’t as shy as he’d sometimes been with Steve.

Bucky pushed him away after a moment. “Stevie, you gotta let me focus on this if you expect me not to study all weekend,” he said, letting out an over the top sigh.

They’d agreed that Steve wouldn’t do any work and Bucky wouldn’t do any studying for the whole of that weekend, though Bucky hadn’t realised Steve was taking him away. Steve couldn’t remember the last time he hadn’t at least checked his work email on a weekend, but he was excited to spend quality uninterrupted time with Bucky. With their schedules being so busy, it was still tricky finding time to see each other sometimes, particularly as much as Steve would like, which was, frankly, every day. Bucky had taken to sometimes studying at his place in the evenings so they could at least be around each other.

Steve stole another quick kiss before getting up. “Alright, I’ve got some more calls to make anyway. You study.” He wandered back to his bedroom, thinking about the weekend, and feeling as excited as a kid on Christmas morning.

 

****

 

Steve stood looking round Bucky and Clint’s apartment while Bucky darted in and out of the room, gathering his things. It was Friday morning and Steve had arrived at six on the dot. Bucky had apparently thought he’d been kidding about getting there early and was now rushing to throw some clothes into a bag for the weekend.

Steve couldn’t help but think that Clint was accurate when he’d named the place “the craphole”. He supposed it was normal for college students to live in places like this, but he sort of wanted to force Bucky to move in with him right there and then. The place was tiny, the furniture looking a little dilapidated and the walls definitely needed repainting. It was remarkably tidy though, considering Clint lived there. In his brief time with Bucky and Clint living with him, he’d discovered that Bucky was pretty tidy while Clint was, well…not.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Bucky said, appearing in front of Steve with a bag in his hand. He’d packed remarkably speedily.

“Do you have enough warm clothes?” Steve checked.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yes mom, it _is_ fucking December.”

“Language,” Steve mock reprimanded him.

Bucky smirked at him and moved past him to grab a coat from near the door, pulling it on, along with a scarf. Steve hadn’t seen him in it before. It was a black pea coat and looked gorgeous on him. He looked so classic and handsome in it, Steve loved it.

“Come on Steve, it’s already six-fifteen, why are you taking so long?” Bucky grinned at him, standing there waiting with bag in hand as Steve stared.

Steve glowered at him. “Oh right, _I_ made us late, sure,” he said, following Bucky out the apartment.

Once they got outside, Bucky seemed surprised to see Steve unlocking the car he’d rented. “We’re driving somewhere?”

“Yep,” Steve said, taking Bucky’s bag and putting it next to his own in the trunk.

“Okay, you know I’m not going unless I get to pick the music,” Bucky threatened.

Steve stood there about to get in. He’d expected as much, and it wasn’t like he minded—he liked a lot of the music Bucky had played him before, but he still gave Bucky an exasperated look. “Fine. Now get in the car.”

Bucky smiled and wandered round to the passenger side. “Oooh bossy Steve, I like it,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

They climbed into the car and Steve started the engine, Bucky already pulling out his phone. “You are a menace,” he told Bucky.

“Eh, you love it,” Bucky joked.

Steve felt his throat constrict a little. Yes, he fucking did.

 

****

 

After the first thirty minutes, Bucky figured out where they were going. It wasn’t really like they could be going anywhere else by that point.

“The Hamptons, Steve, really? It’s winter.”

“It’s better in winter. There’s no crowds and the beaches are empty,” Steve rebuked. He’d been a few times and he truly did like it in winter.

“Yeah, cause it’s freezing.”

Steve glanced over to see Bucky scowling a little.

“Plus beaches are for lying out in the sun and going in the water without turning into ice,” he continued.

Steve huffed out an over the top sigh. “You try to do something nice for someone and all you get is moaning,” he grumbled. “You even let them pick the music the whole time and still, all they do is moan,” he continued, shaking his head at Bucky like he was completely exasperated with him.

“Aww Stevie, I’m sorry, I’m super excited to freeze my balls off with you,” Bucky drawled at him.

Steve rolled his eyes even though he adored sassy Bucky. “Just for that, no jacuzzi for you.”

“Jacuzzi?” Bucky said, his voice perking up a bit. “I’ll be good, don’t punish me, Stevie.” He ran his hand over Steve’s thigh and Steve glanced over to see him wide-eyed and pouty looking.

Steve scowled. “Stop that.”

“Stop what?” Bucky said in a completely innocent tone as he ran his hand further up Steve’s thigh.

Steve tried hard to keep focusing on the road. His body always seemed to react instantly to Bucky’s touch, like he’d been made to feel it. It was ridiculous how much just Bucky’s hand on his thigh was turning him on.

“Am I distracting you?” Bucky said softly, leaning towards Steve before kissing his neck.

Steve let out a hiss and moved away. “Yes and it’s really dangerous,” he choked out. God, Bucky’s mouth was just the best thing on the planet.

“Such a boy scout,” Bucky whispered, his hand moving onto Steve’s crotch.

“Bucky…” Steve said in a low and warning tone.

Bucky started undoing Steve’s pants, very nimbly all things considered, and reached in to wrap his warm hand around Steve, stroking him.

“Stop that,” Steve groaned, as his body lit up with little sparks and in seconds he was fully hard.

“Okay, if you say so,” Bucky surrendered, stopping moving his hand, but keeping it there holding Steve’s dick.

“Bucky,” Steve huffed out.

“What? You told me to stop, I stopped,” Bucky complained at him.

Steve glared at the road. “You know what I meant.”

Bucky’s hand squeezed him a little. “Just doing as I’m told.”

Steve drove, getting more and more agitated as Bucky gripped him, refusing to take his hand away and refusing to move it. After a while, Steve couldn’t take it anymore—Bucky’s warm hand wrapped round him, even unmoving, was too teasing for him. He pulled the car over as soon as it was safe.

Bucky had his seatbelt unbuckled before they fully stopped, finally moving his hand, before clambering over onto Steve’s lap. He grabbed Steve’s head and met his lips in a fierce kiss that sent Steve’s head spinning. His lips were so warm and wet and soft and he was practically smothering Steve with urgent kisses and Steve was certain he’d never ever tire of kissing Bucky.

“Mmm…people could see,” Steve managed to mumble against Bucky’s lips, between moaning.

“Well then, they’ll get a real good show,” Bucky murmured back, unrelenting in kissing Steve and grinding into Steve’s lap.

Fuck, if he kept doing that Steve was going to come in his pants and it was still a two-hour drive. Bucky moved to his neck and bit down a little and god, it felt so good that Steve stopped worrying, grabbing Bucky’s ass with his hands. He could feel Bucky smiling into his neck.

Bucky kept grinding onto him, never stopping kissing Steve, alternating between his lips and his neck and down onto his collarbone and up to his ear, sometimes so soft and sometimes almost biting, and Steve was just so lost in the sensations and thinking how lucky he was and suddenly his body was stiffening and he was coming hard.

“Oh, god, jesus, fuck…” Steve let out as Bucky bit down on his earlobe at the same time.

Bucky laughed against his ear. “It is so cute how you only swear when I’m getting you all worked up.”

Steve groaned, panting a little, recovering. He trailed his fingers to Bucky’s waistband, but Bucky abruptly moved, clambering back into his own seat.

“Don’t you want—” Steve started, reaching for him.

“I’m not an animal, Steve, I can control myself,” Bucky said, smirking widely at Steve.

Steve dropped his head back against the headrest. “Oh my god, you are the worst.”

“Come on, we’ll never get there if you keep stopping like this,” Bucky said, tapping on the clock on the dash, a massive grin still on his face.

Steve glowered at him, turning the key in the ignition. “I hate you.”

 

****

 

Steve was very uncomfortable for the next thirty minutes. Trying to clean up in a gas station bathroom didn’t help all that much. He was extremely relieved when they finally reached their destination, pulling into the gravel driveway in front of the most incredible house he’d seen.

Bucky was staring out the window in wonder. “Please tell me this isn’t yours,” he muttered.

Steve laughed. “I don’t really have millions lying about, Buck. It’s Tony’s.”

Bucky sucked in a breath. “Jesus.”

Steve had to agree with him. The house was huge and impressive. Tony had only bought it recently so Steve hadn’t been there before. Tony was planning to have everyone over in the summer, but had been his usual super generous self and had been happy to let Steve borrow it for the weekend. Steve wasn’t even sure if Tony had stayed there yet.

He switched off the engine and he and Bucky got out, Steve getting their bags from the trunk, before locking the car and walking to the front door and letting them in.

Bucky followed him into the large hallway that was probably bigger than Bucky’s whole apartment, looking around a little awed.

Steve felt the same. “Whoa, this is nice.”

“Nice?” Bucky said incredulously as they wandered into the living room, which had a giant feature fireplace with a pool table on the other side of it.

They wandered through the expanse, reaching another living area and the kitchen with glass doors all along one side, looking out to the garden where they could see the pool.

“This place is insane,” Bucky said.

They continued to wander, kicking off their shoes and hanging up their coats, and making their way to the second floor and into the master bedroom. Steve put their bags down, peering into the bathroom. “I think I’m going to take a quick shower, why don’t you keep looking around, get settled.”

Bucky turned from where he’d been staring at the view of the lake, and smirked at him. “Why? Are you all dirty or something, Stevie?”

Steve exhaled deeply and rolled his eyes. He headed to the bathroom, pulling off his sweater as he went. He didn’t realise Bucky had followed until he spoke.

“Wanna take a bath with me instead?”

Steve turned to see Bucky staring at the giant tub by the windows. “Why are you so smart?” Steve said with a happy smile. They’d never used his bath together at home—it was great for one, but definitely not big enough for two grown men.

Bucky grinned and moved to start running the water. “One of us has to be,” he sassed back at Steve. “Think Tony’s got any bubbly stuff?”

Steve bent down to look through the cupboards, which were surprisingly stocked with an array of probably expensive unopened bath products. Tony had probably got the house stocked with everything someone might need, even though Steve knew he’d probably spend less than a couple of weeks a year at the house.

He located some bubble bath. Bucky poured in a liberal amount while Steve stared, bemused.

“What?” Bucky frowned. “I don’t have a bathtub! Gotta make the most of it.”

Steve smiled and continued to strip out of his clothes, while Bucky didn’t even try to pretend that he wasn’t staring at him. Steve stripped a little slowly on purpose, enjoying the look on Bucky’s face. He turned off the tap once the bath was full, while Bucky started pulling off his clothes too, and Steve climbed in, slipping down into the bubbles, amazed at how big the bath was.

Steve only got to admire Bucky’s naked body for a second before he climbed in, facing the same way as Steve, nudging Steve’s legs so he could settle back against Steve’s chest, his ass pressing against Steve’s crotch. Steve kissed his hair and ran his hands down Bucky’s arms as he relaxed into the water, letting out a happy sigh.

Steve rested an arm across Bucky’s chest, closing his eyes and feeling all the tension leave him. He wasn’t thinking about work for once, he was just enjoying relaxing with Bucky, feeling his warm body up against him.

Bucky let his head drop back against Steve’s chest. “Jeez, Steve, it’s like lying on a fuckin’ brick,” he grumbled.

Steve opened his eyes and ran his fingers over Bucky’s neck in a way that he knew tickled. “Shut it you.”

Bucky jerked and pulled his neck away, then settled back down. Steve stroked his fingers along Bucky’s chest.

“Mmmm, this is nice,” Bucky murmured.

“Yeah, it is,” Steve agreed. It was perfect actually.

Bucky captured one of Steve’s hands and brought it to his mouth to kiss Steve’s wrist, his fingers stroking across Steve’s, making the nerve endings there tingle. He traced his fingers along Steve’s hands like he was memorising them.

“Steve, I…” Bucky started.

“Yeah, Buck?”

He kissed Steve’s wrist again before releasing it. “Nothing.”

 

****

 

They stayed in the bath for a long time. Bucky seemed to drift off a little as Steve rubbed his shoulders. They finally got out and bundled themselves up in towels.

“Do you want to get dressed and go find somewhere for a late breakfast?” Steve asked as he dried off while Bucky sat on the bed.

“Nope,” Bucky replied. “Want you to come here.”

Steve looked over and smiled, and of course did as Bucky requested, standing at the edge of the bed in front of him.

“You obviously didn’t bring me here just to go out and get breakfast,” Bucky said, very matter-of-fact.

Steve smiled curiously. “Oh really, why did I bring you here then?”

Bucky tugged on Steve’s towel, pulling him forward a little more. “Obviously so we could have lots and lots of uninterrupted sex.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong, Steve thought, though he did intend to show Bucky around East Hampton as well. But that could definitely wait until later.

“Get rid of the towel then,” Steve half suggested, half ordered, with a smirk at Bucky.

Bucky immediately yanked Steve’s towel from his waist.

Steve rolled his eyes as it dropped to the floor. “I meant yours.”

Bucky smiled that mischievous smile of his. “Oh, my bad, Stevie.”

Steve clambered over him, pushing Bucky down onto the bed, then placed one hand on either side of Bucky, holding himself up. “I swear you used to be sweeter,” he teased.

“Honeymoon period’s over, my true colours are coming out,” Bucky sassed back. He smiled darkly up at Steve. “Unless you want me to be sweet? Maybe if you get all bossy with me, I’ll be sweet for you.”

Steve looked at the frankly sinful look on Bucky’s face and raised an eyebrow. “You like when I tell you what to do, huh?”

“Maybe,” Bucky replied slyly.

“Take off your towel, Buck,” he ordered, trying to give Bucky a stern look.

Bucky grinned at him and unwrapped the towel. Steve raked his eyes over Bucky. He didn’t think he’d ever tire of seeing him naked, he was just so beautiful and sexy and made Steve want to lock him in the bedroom and never let him leave.

Steve dropped his head down and started kissing along Bucky’s chest, licking and nibbling on his nipples, feeling them peak under his mouth as Bucky let out a little moan. He kissed his way along down Bucky’s hips, Bucky arching his back as he did so, ghosting his breath over Bucky’s rapidly hardening cock.

Bucky shivered beneath him. Steve kept kissing along the lines of Bucky’s hips, avoiding his cock entirely until Bucky started moaning for him. “Stevie, please…” he breathed out. There was his sweet boyfriend, Steve thought, triumphant.

Instead of doing what Bucky wanted, he pulled away. “Turn over.”

Bucky made a noise of protest. “Want your mouth,” he complained.

“That’s what I’m gonna give you,” Steve said, his voice full of promise. He watched as Bucky realised what he meant. “Let me get you ready, baby?” Steve asked.

“God…” Bucky breathed out, before doing as Steve said.

Steve just looked and admired Bucky’s ass for a moment before he started trailing his fingers along Bucky’s back and pressing kisses down his spine, getting another shiver out of Bucky. He trailed his hands lower to Bucky’s ass and held him apart gently, before continuing his kisses further down, until his breath was ghosting over Bucky’s opening.

Steve leant in and raked his tongue over Bucky’s hole ever so lightly. Bucky jerked beneath him and let out a muffled cry. Steve looked up to see Bucky had buried his face in a pillow.

“None of that, baby,” he chastised. “Wanna hear you.”

Bucky whimpered and moved his face from the pillow.

“Good boy,” Steve praised him. He leant in again and used a firmer stroke of his tongue this time, his beard rubbing against Bucky’s cheeks. He kept varying the pressure of his tongue, licking round Bucky’s skin, delighting in the lewd moans coming from Bucky’s mouth. It was a good thing there was no one around because Bucky was _loud_ now.

Steve delighted in the sounds. Bucky was arching his hips back, all wet and fluttering under Steve’s tongue and Steve pushed just the tip of his tongue inside.

“Jesus, fuck,” Bucky sobbed out when he did that.

Steve kept going, working Bucky up into a quivering mess beneath him, until it sounded like he was practically crying. Steve loved doing this—it was so intimate and erotic and Bucky looked so beautiful when he was coming apart like this.

“Please, I can’t…” Bucky sobbed out at him. “Please, Steve, please fuck me.”

He kept pleading as Steve teased him further, choosing to ignore his request until Bucky was truly begging him. Steve finally reluctantly pulled away to grab for his bag and find the lube and condoms he’d brought with him.

He climbed back over Bucky, up to plant a kiss to his hair, to find Bucky had actual tear lines on his cheek. “Baby, you okay?”

“Fuck me,” Bucky whimpered at him again.

“Like this?” Steve questioned. Bucky might have liked him playing the boss, but they both knew who was really in charge and Steve would always ask what Bucky wanted.

“Anyway you want, but I swear to god, if you don’t fuck me right now—”

“Okay, okay,” Steve chuckled. He rolled a condom on fast, squeezed out some lube and coated himself before he lined up with Bucky. He stroked his hands over Bucky’s back, before sinking down into him.

“Oh god,” Steve breathed out as he sank in a lot easier than usual, Bucky taking him in one slow stroke. Bucky let out the most pornographic moan Steve had ever heard and what sounded like a sigh of relief.

“You happy now, baby?” Steve questioned as he dropped his head to press a kiss to Bucky’s shoulder blades, relishing the soft warmth of Bucky around his cock.

Bucky let out another moan. “Fuck me hard, Steve, please…I need it…”

Steve’s eyes practically rolled back. “God, baby, you turn me on so much when you talk like that.” He started moving his hips a little slow, making sure Bucky was slick enough for him.

“Will more talk make you actually fuck me?” Bucky bit back at him.

Steve frowned at his complaint and thrust into Bucky hard and Bucky gasped like all the breath had been knocked out his body. “Maybe,” Steve said, glowering. He started a faster pace, thrusting hard and deep into Bucky’s ass.

“Mmm, you feel so good,” Bucky panted, making a very satisfied noise.

“You feel incredible,” Steve started babbling, fucking Bucky hard, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling the room. “So tight around me, taking me so well, god just look at you, fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” he continued, running his hands over Bucky’s back.

Bucky started writhing beneath him. “Please…touch me…” he moaned, obviously unable to get enough friction on his cock this way.

Steve pulled Bucky up, pressing himself deep inside, sitting back on his heels, pulling Bucky against his chest. He wrapped a hand around Bucky’s cock, the amount of pre-come leaking from the head giving his hand easy glide, then started snapping his hips up.

Bucky reached behind, sliding his hand round Steve’s neck to help hold himself up.

Steve loved this position—it meant he could nuzzle into Bucky’s neck, one of his absolute favourite spots on Bucky. He started leaving bruising kisses down it, too turned on to hold back.

Bucky started bouncing back to meet his thrusts, letting out those little grunts of his. “I’m so close already, so close…oh god…”

Steve was already there as Bucky’s movements became too much for him. He accidently bit down a little hard on Bucky’s shoulder as he came, pushing his cock deeply into Bucky, revelling in the wet, tight heat and feeling like his vision blurred a little at the intensity as he let out a choked gasp.

Bucky whimpered as Steve came, but kept bouncing on him, Steve working his hand faster over Bucky, even though he just wanted to collapse on the bed, determined to make Bucky come.

“Come for me, baby, let me see you,” Steve encouraged, his cock feeling overly sensitive now. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

That seemed to be all it took as Bucky stiffened and cried out, gripping tightly on Steve’s neck, and then Steve’s hand was getting coated with Bucky’s come as he milked Bucky through his release.

“Jesus christ,” Bucky groaned as Steve pulled out and Bucky let himself flop onto the bed.

Steve got rid of the condom and flopped down next to him, pulling Bucky onto his side so he could spoon him, and they lay there recovering for a good ten minutes before Bucky spoke.

“Okay, now breakfast.”

 

****

 

Steve walked with Bucky on the mostly deserted beach. Bucky had finally relented and agreed that the beach was pretty nice without people, even if it was cold. He was wearing Steve’s hat and gloves, after Steve had to battle to convince him to, seeing as Bucky had forgotten to bring his own. Sure, Steve was a little cold, but he didn’t care as long as Bucky was warm, plus he looked cute all bundled up.

They’d got a late breakfast and Steve had showed him round the small town before they headed to the beach for a walk. Steve breathed in deeply, the air feeling so much cleaner than in New York, the sound of the birds and the ocean filling his ears.

Bucky reached for his hand when they approached a slightly more sheltered part of the beach, near the dunes. “Can we sit for a bit?”

“Sure,” Steve agreed.

They sat next to each other, facing the ocean, watching the waves go in and out. Steve loved the ocean. They’d never had much money when he was a kid, but trips to even the nearest beach had always felt wondrous to him, and he could imagine they were someplace else entirely. The ocean always seemed infinite, but rather than seeming daunting, it reminded Steve that there was a world of possibilities out there. It made him feel even luckier to have found Bucky, out of all the possibilities there might have been out there for him.

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice broke the silence.

“Mmm…”

“What was the Army like?”

Steve was a little surprised by the out of the blue question. “What do you want to know?” he asked, turning his head to look at Bucky.

“Well you said you served eight years. That’s pretty long right?”

Steve shrugged. “Not really, some do much longer.” He looked back at the ocean.

Bucky didn’t reply for a moment. “It was just...it obviously was a big part of your life, but you never talk about it,” he finally said softly.

“I don’t like to think about it,” Steve admitted, still watching the water. He’d spent a long time processing everything when he’d come back from overseas and eventually sort of let go of that part of his life. Well, not really. He’d never let go of it, but he’d found a way to deal with it.

“Okay,” Bucky said quietly next to him.

Steve could hear a little sadness in his voice. He let out a breath and turned his head to look over at Bucky again. He had taken off his gloves and was running sand through his hands, looking a little down. Bucky obviously wanted him to open up about it and Steve could do that, at least a little, he decided. He wanted Bucky to know he trusted him enough to do so.

“It’s not like in the movies,” Steve started. Bucky lifted his eyes to him. “It’s the hardest thing anyone can do,” he continued. “I mean, I’m still grateful in some ways…some of the guys I met there will be my family forever, but…we lost people, sometimes right in front of us…” Steve paused for a moment as memories he kept pushed down surfaced. “I was the captain of my unit, so I had to be strong, but sometimes it’s just like you’re playing the part and inside you’re terrified.”

Steve paused for a moment, looking back at the ocean. “Morita and Falsworth were our brothers and they died out there. Dugan, Jones, Dernier and me…we got to come back. It took me a long time to not feel guilty about that…sometimes I still do,” he admitted.

Bucky moved closer to Steve, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry, Steve.”

Steve pushed his thoughts down and focused on Bucky. He wrapped his arm round him and Bucky grasped his hand. The feel of his hand was calming to Steve. “I’d love for you to meet them someday,” he told Bucky.

“Me too,” Bucky replied. “Tell me about them?” he requested gently.

Steve smiled as he thought about his unit and started talking about them for the first time in a long time as they sat watching the ocean, Bucky keeping him grounded as he revisited old memories.

 

****

 

Steve had one of the best weekends of his life. It was so good to get away with Bucky and leave everything else behind and it had been surprisingly cathartic to talk about his Army days.

Bucky seemed to love being away too. They used the pool and the jacuzzi, they went for walks, they snuggled under blankets watching movies and ate out at stupidly expensive restaurants where Bucky pointed out how stupid they were. They also spent an inordinate amount of time in bed. And on the balcony next to the outdoor fireplace. And in the kitchen. And one time on the hallway floor.

They’d decided to drive back as late as possible on the Sunday and were sitting enjoying their last night there, out on the balcony next to the fireplace, looking out at the nearby lake, snuggled together in one of the chairs. Bucky seemed to have started to favour sitting squished next to or directly on top of Steve, instead of on his own chair and Steve didn’t mind one bit.

“Steve?” Bucky said his name as Steve carded his hand through Bucky’s hair.

“Yeah, Buck?”

He waited as Bucky didn’t reply straight away. “What are you doing for Christmas?” Bucky asked.

Christmas was only just over a week away. Steve had already bought most of his presents, including Bucky’s, but they hadn’t discussed holiday plans yet, Steve figuring it was too soon to be asking Bucky to spend Christmas with him.

“I usually go to Sam’s with him,” Steve replied. Sam’s family were in D.C. and he had a standing invitation for Christmas with them. It was the one thing Sam was looking forward to since Riley had left and he’d been pretty miserable. “What about you?” he asked Bucky.

“Oh…I’m going to Becca’s,” Bucky said, shifting out of Steve’s arms and standing up and stretching.

“That sounds nice. You haven’t seen her for a while, right?” Bucky didn’t talk much about his sister, but Steve knew they didn’t get to see each other a lot.

Bucky shook his head. “Starting to get pretty late. We should probably start heading back,” Bucky said, sounding disappointed.

Steve sighed and forced himself to get up. “I don’t want to go,” he said, wrapping his arms round Bucky from behind, looking out over the balcony with him where they could only just make out the lake now it was so dark.

“Me neither,” Bucky replied, leaning his head back. “Thanks for bringing me here.” He twisted his neck so he could reach Steve’s lips and kissed him softly.

“You’re welcome, baby,” Steve smiled when Bucky pulled away.

Bucky smiled back and then sighed after a moment. “I’ll go get our things, you turn off the fire and check the house?”

Steve grumbled, pulling Bucky in for another kiss before he eventually gave in.

Steve felt a pang of sadness as they started the drive home, leaving the Hamptons behind. It was one weekend he didn’t want to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up...CHRISTMAS! It's so fluff (with a tiny bit of sad).
> 
> Massive love to kudosers and commenters :D x


	14. Steve's Christmas miracle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Very Stucky Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it's so full of fluff, I make myself sick.

Bucky let out a massive sigh. “Really, Steve?”

Steve grinned back as he walked over to the sofa, trying to keep the pile of presents in his arms balanced. He managed and carefully dropped them onto the sofa next to Bucky.

Bucky stared down at them. “I got you like two things.”

Steve kept grinning. “You got me something?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Of course I got you something, it’s our first Christmas. I just didn’t get you an entire store’s worth of stuff.”

Steve’s heart swelled. _First Christmas_. Like there would be lots more to come. He perched on the arm of the sofa. “I didn’t spend a lot, I swear.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Like actually, or relatively?”

Damn, he was too smart. “Come on, Buck, I loved finding stuff for you, just let me have this one.” Steve really did love shopping for gifts and not just for Bucky, but for all his friends too. He didn’t think he’d gone too overboard though.

Bucky let out a breath. “Alright,” he surrendered. “I’m not opening them till Christmas though.”

Steve felt a flash of disappointment. It was the night before Christmas Eve and Steve was travelling the next evening with Sam so this was their last time together before Christmas. Steve had come home early so they could have some time together and had dragged Bucky into bed before they’d got Thai food and watched _Elf_ , snuggled on the sofa. Steve had really wanted to watch Bucky open his presents, but they _were_ for Christmas so he really should open them _on_ Christmas, Steve supposed.

“Got a bag for me to put them in? Or a truck?” Bucky continued.

Steve groaned. “So ungrateful.” He got up to find a bag for Bucky, grabbing a cookie from the kitchen counter as he went. Wanda had baked him a ton for the office and sent them in with Pietro and Steve had brought some home.

Bucky had got out Steve’s presents when Steve returned. He took the bag from Steve and stole the other half of his cookie at the same time.

“There’s yours,” Bucky said, gesturing to the gifts on the coffee table.

Steve was starting to feel like Bucky didn’t really like Christmas. “Thanks, baby,” he said, dropping down over Bucky’s lap and grabbing his face with his hands to pull him in for a long kiss.

“God, you really like Christmas,” Bucky grumbled when Steve released him.

“Don’t you?” Steve asked, moving to perch on the coffee table and pick up his presents carefully.

“Not in the over the top way you do,” Bucky replied, carefully putting his presents into the bag, occasionally giving one a small shake as if trying to figure out what it was.

Bucky’s phone bleeped and Steve caught a look at the screen as it flashed on before Bucky picked it up. He’d set the background to one of the pictures he’d taken of them together on the beach in the Hamptons. Steve smiled to himself. He’d actually printed one of them and had it in his office, but Bucky didn’t need to know that.

“I gotta get going,” Bucky said, standing up. Steve knew he had plans with Natasha and Clint before they went home for the holidays.

Steve followed as Bucky lifted the bag of presents with an exaggerated motion like they weighed a ton and Steve rolled his eyes at him, before Bucky moved towards the hallway, stealing another cookie on the way out.

He stopped by the door, putting his bags down, and pulled on his shoes and coat before facing Steve. “Make sure you miss me a bit,” he said with a little smile.

Steve smiled back, feeling stupidly sad inside. “Of course I will. I’ll call you on Christmas morning.”

“Not too early, okay,” Bucky warned. “You strike me as the kind who still gets up at five am like a little kid.”

Steve smiled sheepishly. He wasn’t wrong, though usually Steve was up early to help Sam’s mom with the cooking, rather than due to the excitement of Christmas.

Bucky leaned in and placed his hand on Steve’s cheek, stroking his hand over Steve’s beard, before pulling him in for a somewhat desperate kiss. Steve felt the world narrow to just the two of them. Bucky’s lips pressed hard against Steve’s, his hand holding Steve’s face, before he pulled away with a little tug on Steve’s lower lip.

Steve moaned when he broke the kiss and pulled Bucky back in towards him. Bucky fake sighed at him, but let Steve kiss him again. Steve got lost in the kiss. He would never tire of kissing Bucky—it was like his mouth had been made just for Steve to kiss.

They finally broke apart, both a little breathless, Bucky pushing his hand on Steve’s chest.

“Okay, I’m going,” Bucky said, lifting his bags again. “Merry Christmas and all that,” he said, opening the door as Steve sighed.

Steve held it open, watching him fondly as Bucky went into the hallway. “Merry Christmas, Buck.”

 

****

 

Steve was finishing up in the office. He’d gone round wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and given them an extra few hours off as a surprise so they could get home early on Christmas Eve. Sam was in his office across from him, but everyone else was now gone so he was surprised by a knock on his open door.

“Hey, Natasha,” he said as he looked up to see her there in a black coat, holding a festive looking tin. “You weren’t working today, were you?”

“No, I just wanted to drop by to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Just caught some of them before they left,” she explained. “Wanted to bring you this as well,” she said, holding up the tin in her hands and moving across the room to pass it to him.

Steve took it and opened the lid. “Cookies?” She didn’t seem the type to bake, but he was touched.

“My roommate made them,” she admitted. “Well, actually her boyfriend did,” she amended. “It’s the thought that counts.”

Steve laughed. “Thank you.”

“Are you excited for Christmas?” she asked, leaning over and lifting out one of his cookies and taking a bite.

“Yeah, me and Sam are headed off soon,” Steve replied, putting the lid back on the tin.

“Oh, Sam’s going to be with you? I thought it was just you and James,” she commented, taking another bite.

Steve felt a little puzzled. “Bucky’s going to his sister’s,” he told her.

She frowned at him, looking confused. “He told me you were spending Christmas together. I was really happy for him, cause him and his sister don’t get on so well, he never seems to like going there for Christmas.”

Steve shook his head. “I’m going to D.C. with Sam. Why would he tell you that?” Steve frowned, feeling completely confused.

“I don’t know,” Natasha said, looking concerned.

Steve pulled out his phone. “It’s probably a misunderstanding.” He called Bucky’s number but it just rang out until it went to voicemail. He put the phone down on his desk. “He’s not answering.”

Natasha pulled out her phone. “Hey, Clint, is James with you?” she asked and Steve listened as they had a brief conversation. She hung up. “Clint’s gone home already, but he said James said he was leaving for his sister’s. I guess I got it wrong.”

Steve nodded, though something still wasn’t sitting right with him.

Natasha shrugged, seeming to accept it. “I guess it’s all fine then. I really need to get going, I’ll miss my train otherwise. Merry Christmas, Steve,” she said, giving him a wave as Steve thanked her for the cookies again.

Steve finished up his work, hoping Bucky would call him back, but his phone didn’t ring.

When Sam came to see if he was ready to go, Steve couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. He apologised profusely to Sam, explaining the situation and promised to give Sam’s mom a call to say sorry. He had to go and find Bucky.

 

****

 

It took Steve twice as long to get to Bucky’s place in Brooklyn, what with all the holiday traffic. It only intensified his worrying. He finally got there and paid his cab driver, before making his way up the stairs to the door of Bucky’s building. He frowned when he realised the main door was a little ajar—Bucky’s building wasn’t the safest looking place and apparently other residents weren’t even careful enough to close the front door, but at least it worked in Steve’s favour.

Instead of having to ring the buzzer, he went in and made his way to Bucky’s apartment where he knocked on the door. He waited but there was no answer. He tried again and called out Bucky’s name.

This time he heard the locks on the door clinking and then the door opened and there was Bucky, wearing a t-shirt and boxers and looking at him a little shocked.

“Steve?”

“Hey.” Steve pulled him into a hug. “Why are you still here, you were supposed to leave hours ago?” he asked as he pulled away.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at Sam’s mom’s?” he asked, rubbing one of his eyes.

Steve frowned. He could tell Bucky was deflecting the question. “Answer the question, Buck,” he said firmly.

Bucky looked uncomfortable, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m, umm, not really going?”

“What do you mean? Why not?” Steve realised he was still standing in the hallway. “Can I come in?”

Bucky did a little shrug. “I guess…” he said, moving away so Steve could go in and closing the door behind him.

“Well?” Steve prompted as he looked round the room. They’d put up a little plastic tree, which wasn’t the worst tree he’d seen, but it was pretty close, and the presents Steve had given Bucky were piled up next to it. There was also a blanket on the sofa that looked like Bucky had probably just gotten up from under it. He turned to look at Bucky, who was frowning at the floor.

“I never go there, alright,” Bucky finally said. “At least not in the last three years. I just tell Nat and Clint that I do and then I stay here.”

Steve looked at the room, puzzled. “Why?”

Bucky let out a huff of air. “Because Christmas is not a happy time for me or my sister. We get angry at each other and we fight and it’s fuckin’ terrible so I stopped doing it.”

“So you just stay here on your own on Christmas?” Steve said as a realisation, his heart breaking a little. “Why didn’t you tell me, you could have come to Sam’s or we could have stayed home…”

Bucky started pacing. “Come on, I wasn’t going to impose on someone else’s family and I didn’t want to ruin your Christmas.”

“How would being with you ruin it?” Steve couldn’t understand. He’d been dying to ask Bucky to spend Christmas with him, but he hadn’t wanted to move too fast for Bucky.

“Because!” Bucky said loudly. “Because my parents fucking died on Christmas Eve,” he almost yelled, before going silent and stopping pacing.

Steve felt his words go right through him, like a cut. He looked at Bucky, struggling to find words that would comfort him. Bucky’s eyes looked glassy in the light.

“They died,” Bucky repeated, almost to himself as Steve watched, and oh god, he was crying now.

Steve surged forward and wrapped Bucky into his arms before Bucky let go and started crying in earnest on his shoulder. “Baby, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” Steve said softly into Bucky’s hair, holding him as tightly as he could. He could feel Bucky gripping him back just as tightly.

“I miss them, Steve,” he said, his voice muffled by Steve’s shoulder.

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” Steve murmured, stroking Bucky’s hair, because he did know. He knew all too well what it was like.

He held Bucky as Bucky let it out, letting himself let go in Steve’s arms. Steve knew sometimes you didn’t even need words, you just needed someone there, so Steve just held him quietly.

Bucky sniffed after a little while, as his tears started subsiding and he pulled his head back from Steve. “Now I’ve gone and ruined your Christmas too.”

Steve put his hand on the side of Bucky’s face and looked into his eyes, amazed that Bucky would think that. “You haven’t ruined anything, Bucky. All you’ve done since I met you is make things better. I love you so, so much.” Steve let the words out finally. He wasn’t scared anymore. He just needed Bucky to know.

Bucky stared at him, his eyes glassy and looking like a stormy sea. “You mean that? You’re not just saying that cause I cried all over you?”

Steve looked warmly at him. “I love you so much, I feel like I always have.”

Bucky stared him down, his eyes suddenly determined. “I love you.”

The words felt amazing to hear, but Steve just smiled at Bucky. “You don’t have to say that just cause I did.” He really didn’t mind—he knew it was probably too soon, but he was happy just having Bucky know how he felt.

“I’m not,” Bucky said, looking at him with those determined eyes. “I was trying to tell you when we were away, but I guess I got a bit scared. I’ve never said that to anyone before,” he admitted. “Never wanted to either.”

Steve couldn’t really believe it. His heart was going crazy. Bucky loved him. He _loved_ him. Steve wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve this, because happiness was just spreading through him and grabbing on like it would never let go.

“I love you,” Steve said again, smiling at Bucky, feeling those little firework sparks shooting all around his body. He pulled Bucky back in and held him.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” Bucky mumbled into Steve’s shoulder, sending Steve into a confusing feeling of both happiness and sadness at the same time.

“You promised you wouldn’t do that,” Steve reminded him gently, stroking a hand over his hair. “We said we’d talk about things.”

Bucky pulled back his head, looking up at Steve. “I was going to, I really was, but then you said you were going to Sam’s and I didn’t want to ruin it so I just figured—”

“Bucky?” Steve cut him off.

“Yeah?”

“Will you spend Christmas with me?” Steve asked, wishing he’d asked before.

A small, sweet smile grew on Bucky’s face. “Okay,” he said softly.

 

****

 

“I guess I should have just left these here,” Bucky mused as he hauled in Steve’s presents.

Steve unpacked the groceries in the kitchen. After an expensive cab ride back over, they’d found a store that was open and managed to grab a few last minute things so they could still have something resembling a Christmas dinner the next day.

“Now I get to see you open them,” Steve commented brightly.

“Ugh, now I’ll have to practice my happy face in case you got me something awful,” Bucky joked, joining Steve in the kitchen.

“If you don’t like any, I’ll get you something else instead,” Steve promised as Bucky helped put away the last of the groceries.

“Steve,” Bucky rolled his eyes at him.

Steve pressed a kiss to Bucky’s temple. “What do you want to do for the rest of the evening?” he asked gently.

Bucky looked up at him. “Can we just go to bed?” he asked softly.

It was still kind of early, but if that was what Bucky wanted, then that’s what they’d do. “Of course, baby. Why don’t you go in and I’ll finish up here,” Steve suggested.

Bucky nodded and did as he suggested while Steve finished up and turned off the lights. When he got to their bedroom, Bucky was in his boxers, pulling on one of Steve’s t-shirts.

“You did bring your own clothes with you, you know,” Steve reminded him with an eyebrow raise.

“I like yours,” Bucky said simply, climbing into bed. “They smell like you.”

Steve had always thought he liked wearing them because he realised it riled Steve up a little, bringing out the possessive part of him. Bucky’s real reason was even better and a thousand times sweeter.

Steve went to get ready for bed, then stripped down to his boxers and joined Bucky. As soon as he’d got comfy on his back, Bucky moved and smushed himself up against Steve’s side, a leg slung over his, an arm across his waist and his head on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve’s hand automatically started stroking through Bucky’s hair. He listened to Bucky’s breathing, waiting to see if he wanted to talk, but content to just lie there with him, holding him close, stroking his soft hair.

Bucky broke the silence after a while. “Steve?”

“Mmm?”

“Did it help to talk…when I asked you about the Army?” He sounded tentative.

Steve knew where he might be going with this. “Not at first,” he said gently and honestly. “It brings the memories back at first, but then it got a bit easier. I liked sharing it with you, telling you about the guys.”

“Do you think maybe it would help if I told you about the accident?” he asked quietly. He’d never sounded younger or more vulnerable to Steve than in that moment.

“I don’t know, baby,” Steve replied honestly. “Maybe you could start by telling me more about your parents and Becca?” Maybe that would be a good way for Bucky to ease into it.

He felt Bucky take a breath. Then he started talking.

Steve listened. He kept stroking Bucky’s hair. He gripped him a little tighter when Bucky got choked up. He kissed away the few tears that escaped Bucky’s eyes. He reminded Bucky that he loved him and stayed awake just watching over Bucky for a little while once he finally fell asleep.

 

****

 

Steve woke up slowly, stretching his arms out and fluttering his eyes open, before realising there was no one next to him in his bed. Where was Bucky? He frowned and turned his head to look at the clock. It was just after seven-thirty. Then Steve’s brain kicked in and he realised it was Christmas morning.

He replayed the night before. Bucky had opened up to him. It was been hard—Bucky wasn’t used to talking openly and hadn’t ever opened up about his family before. He’d told Steve about how he had been in the car with his parents when the accident happened and how Becca hadn’t and how it had somehow created a rift between them.

Steve had shed some tears for Bucky when he told him about being there when his parents died. It was horrific and Steve couldn’t really fathom it. Steve had been honoured that Bucky trusted him and loved him and wanted to tell him about them, but now he was worried. What if it had been too much and Bucky was upset?

Steve climbed out of bed and headed out to the living room to look for him. He stopped in surprise when he saw Bucky there in the kitchen, his hands in a bowl, coated in what looked like flour. He’d turned on the tree lights and also arranged all the presents neatly underneath, ready to be opened. The smell of chocolate was also filling the room, rich and comforting.

“Hey, Stevie,” Bucky said as he noticed him standing there. “Merry Christmas.”

Steve smiled, a little incredulous. “Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he murmured back. “What are you doing?” he asked, moving towards Bucky. He rested his hand on Bucky’s back and looked over to see what was in the bowl. “What are you making?”

“Apple pie,” Bucky replied, crumbling the mixture between his fingers. “It’s not really Christmassy but you had apples…” He shrugged. “Oh and hot chocolate is almost done,” he added.

“You didn’t have to do all this,” Steve told him, looking at him in wonder.

Bucky shrugged again. “Don’t worry, you’re helping me with dinner.”

Steve nestled in and pressed a kiss to Bucky’s face. “You okay?” he asked gently.

Bucky turned his head and half smiled at him. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he said, a little sadly. “It was good…having you there yesterday. Was nice not to be on my own.”

If Steve had his way Bucky would never be on his own again. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist from sideways on and squeezed him. Bucky chuckled and leant into it, unable to hug back with his hands covered in pastry mixture.

“Anyway,” Bucky continued, “I don’t want today to be a sad day, so let’s do all the cheesy Christmas things you like, okay?”

Steve nodded and rested his chin on Bucky’s shoulder. “Okay, baby.”

“Well then, go and pour the hot chocolate and stick a candy cane in them,” he ordered Steve.

Steve did as he was told, finding the Christmas themed mugs he had buried in a cabinet and took the hot chocolates to the coffee table, while Bucky finished the pastry and put it in the fridge to chill.

He joined him on the sofa when he’d washed his hands, pulling Steve’s blanket over his lap and picking up his hot chocolate.

“Okay, what next?” he asked Steve as he took a sip.

Steve looked over at the tree. “Presents?” He looked at Bucky with a hopeful smile.

Bucky shrugged. “Alright.” It wasn’t quite the excitement Steve was hoping for, but it would do.

Steve got on the floor and looked through the gifts. He knew which were from him, but there were a few Bucky had brought with him from his friends and Steve had gifts from his friends to open too so they started with those.

Bucky broke into a wide smile when he opened Natasha and Clint’s gift of concert tickets to a band they all liked. Steve thought seeing Bucky smile like that was the best gift ever and he didn’t really need to open his anymore, but Bucky said it was his turn.

Steve opened a few from his friends—there were the usual food and alcohol gifts, along with some books and movies, all of which Steve greatly appreciated. Bucky smiled as he watched him open them. Then Steve hauled out a pretty large and heavy box that Tony had brought to his office a few days previously.

Steve was pretty sure he knew what it was. He lifted the lid to be surprised though, because when he lifted the first wrapped box within, he found another wrapped one underneath. This one had a tag, which said ‘For Bucky’ on it. Steve smiled to himself. Okay, Tony could be a pain in the ass, but he could also be a sweetheart. He wasn’t sure how Bucky would react to it though.

“Umm, this one’s for you,” Steve said, lifting the box out and passing it to Bucky.

Bucky looked curious as he took it.

“It’s from Tony and I didn’t ask him to, so you can’t get mad at me,” he warned Bucky with a little smile.

Bucky frowned a little now, but then started unwrapping the gift. Steve did the same, and once he’d pulled off a little paper he could see his suspicions were correct. He looked up at Bucky as he got rid of the last of the paper.

“A laptop?” Bucky said, sounding completely shocked. He looked at Steve. “He got me a laptop?”

Steve held his up. “Me too. He does it every year—it’s the latest Stark Tech model. He gives them to all his friends.”

Bucky stared at the box in his hands. “I can’t take this. It must be worth a thousand at least.”

Steve knew it would probably be a couple of thousand at least, once it was on the market, but it wasn’t even out yet. “It means he likes you. You can’t really give it back…” Steve had tried the first time Tony had gifted him a new phone, but Tony wouldn’t hear of it.

Bucky seemed to be thinking hard. “I…” he started, then paused again, staring at the box in his hands. “Okay, I’ll keep it,” he finally said. “But only because I don’t want him to think I’m ungrateful,” he told Steve, looking over at him.

Steve smiled. “It’s probably best. It’s really not worth arguing with him.” He took a sip of his hot chocolate, delighting in how the melting candy cane made it taste like peppermint.

Bucky sighed to himself, looking at the box again. “We should call him later to thank him,” he told Steve.

“We will,” Steve replied, putting his box down and reaching for another present from Sam. He opened it to find the picture he’d printed of him and Bucky, that he kept in a drawer at work, had been framed. He let out a sigh. He knew this was Sam half being sweet and half making fun of him. He’d probably intended to laugh about Steve’s moony face in front of his family when he opened it.

“What’d you get?” Bucky asked.

“Photo frame,” Steve replied, showing Bucky the back of it.

Bucky reached his hand out for it. Steve reluctantly passed him it, figuring Bucky would see it anyway. He watched as Bucky turned it round and a soft smile appeared on his face. “We should take some Christmas pictures later,” he said, as he placed the frame on the coffee table, adjusting it so it was at an angle that seemed to please him.

“Really?” Steve asked with a little grin.

Bucky rolled his eyes and moved to join Steve on the floor. “I love you, you idiot, why wouldn’t I want pictures of us,” he said as he wrapped the blanket round his shoulders.

Steve thought he might explode every time Bucky said he loved him. It made Steve so happy, and feel so wanted, even if it _was_ followed with Bucky calling him an idiot.

“Looks like it’s time to start on yours,” Bucky commented, looking at the remainder of the presents.

Steve grinned and retrieved the easy gifts first—ones that weren’t expensive. Bucky looked pleased and thanked him each time he opened one to find little things like DVDs and chocolate and gloves. Then they got down to the last two. Steve knew he’d like one of them, but he was a little nervous about the other.

“Which first?” Bucky asked as he looked at the presents Steve had placed by his feet—one that looked like just a card and one small box shaped one.

“You pick,” Steve told him.

Bucky picked up the flat one and opened it to find a card. He opened it with a curious look on his face, seeing as Steve had already given him a Christmas card. Steve waited as he read, watching Bucky’s face change from curious to disbelieving to sort of still disbelieving but happy. Steve was so glad he got to see his reaction.

“You’re kidding me?” he said, his eyes wide when he looked at Steve.

“Nope. Tricked you, it’s not even a gift from me,” he laughed.

“Bruce freakin’ Banner is going to let me shadow him for a week?!” Bucky laughed, as though it was absurd.

“Yep!” Steve was so happy Bucky was happy. Bruce had been so willing to help this time, coming up with the full plan himself, writing the card to explain to Bucky, and promising that it wasn’t just because he felt bad, but because Bucky was really smart and he’d be happy to have him there.

“Did you force him to do this?” he asked Steve with an eyebrow raise.

Steve held his hands up. “No, I swear. I came up with the idea, but he took it further and he’s planned out the whole week and he thinks you’re incredibly smart, he wouldn’t do it just for me, I promise.”

Bucky launched himself at Steve, clambering into his lap, his legs wrapping round him, pushing his lips against Steve’s in a forceful kiss. “This is amazing, Stevie,” he said as he pulled back. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Steve reached down for the last present. “One more,” he said, holding it out.

Bucky moved his hand from around Steve’s neck and took the present, staying in Steve’s lap as he opened it. He blinked up at Steve as he unwrapped _On the Road_. “I love this book.”

“I know you do,” Steve replied, still feeling a bit nervous, his hands resting on Bucky’s hips.

Bucky turned the book over in his hands and opened the cover carefully, before closing it again and fixing Steve with slightly stern looking eyes. “Is this a first edition?”

“Yes,” Steve admitted. He couldn’t help himself, it had seemed like such a great idea when he’d thought of it that nothing else seemed right, so he’d gone for it. It wasn’t insanely expensive anyway.

Bucky stared at him for a moment. Then he sighed. “You should have opened your presents first cause they are super lame compared to mine.”

“Baby, I’d love anything you got me, you didn’t even have to get me something,” Steve promised.

“This is amazing,” Bucky said, holding up the book. He placed it carefully back in the box. “I love it.”

Steve was surprised he was being so accepting of it. Bucky leant in and kissed him again, taking Steve’s breath away. Steve crushed their lips together hard, one hand moving to Bucky’s cheek.

“Okay, your turn,” Bucky said, pulling his face away.

Steve shook his head, leaning his head forward, trying to get Bucky’s lips back. “Kisses can be my present.”

“Nope,” Bucky said defiantly. “I put a _little_ effort into these, you’re opening them.” He tried to move from Steve’s lap, but Steve held onto his hips and refused to let him. Bucky let out an exaggerated sigh. “Alright…” he said, leaning as far as he could to reach the gifts and pulling them over while Steve held onto him.

He gave Steve the first present and Steve unhappily moved his hands from holding Bucky, but Bucky stayed put, his hand snaking round Steve’s neck, watching him as he opened the present.

Steve unwrapped it to find a set of drawing pencils. He smiled as he looked at them. They were the exact type he used. “I love them, sweetheart,” he said, smiling up at Bucky. “You’re much sneakier than I think you are, aren’t you?” Bucky must have looked at his art things and noticed he was getting close to needing new pencils.

“Oh yeah, I’m always looking through your stuff,” Bucky replied. Steve noticed he suddenly looked nervous. Bucky passed him the second present.

It was fairly heavy and Steve wondered what it was as he unwrapped it, then realised it was a frame. Then he felt his breath catch as he realised what was in the frame. Bucky had taken a sketch he’d done of his mother, something that had been at the front of Steve’s sketchbook, and had it professionally framed. Steve just stared at it, unable to speak for a moment. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him.

“Are you mad I took it from your sketchbook?” Bucky asked quietly, clearly misinterpreting Steve’s silence.

“No, Buck,” Steve shook his head, feeling himself welling up, still staring at the picture. “It’s perfect.”

“I thought you could hang it over on the wall over there,” Bucky said, motioning with his head, Steve glancing in that direction.

“Yeah, it would look nice there,” Steve agreed.

“She was really beautiful,” Bucky commented, looking at the picture.

Steve nodded, looking back at the picture of his mother. “She would have really liked you.”

“You think?” Bucky said, a hopeful smile on his face when Steve looked up.

Steve reached over and set the frame down on top of the coffee table. “Oh yeah, you two would have been thick as thieves.” He wrapped his hands back round Bucky’s waist. “Thank you so much, sweetheart.”

Bucky smiled that pure genuine smile of his. “What’s next for your Christmas day traditions?” he asked.

Steve ran his hand along Bucky’s waist. “I can think of something, but it’s not a tradition. We could make it be one though?” he suggested, voice heavy with flirtation.

Bucky smirked at him. “How is that Christmassy?”

Steve shrugged a little. “We could do it right here in front of the tree?” he suggested, jokingly.

Bucky looked at the tree and then back at Steve. “Okay,” he shrugged. He pushed on Steve’s shoulders trying to get him to lie down.

“I was kidding!” Steve protested as Bucky pushed him down. But then Bucky kissed him and he stopped protesting.

 

****

 

It was the best Christmas Steve had had since he was a kid. They’d cooked together, managing to make something resembling a Christmas dinner, and Bucky’s pie had been outstanding, so much so that Steve had to renounce the pie at the diner and proclaim that Bucky made the best apple pie he’d ever had.

They facetimed Tony to thank him for the laptops, Bucky having opened his and nerding out as he tried it out. Bucky surprised Steve by calling his sister, sitting next to Steve on the sofa, holding his hand the whole time. When they hung up he seemed almost happy, the call having gone a lot better than he’d expected.

In the evening, Steve dragged Bucky out the apartment so they could walk uptown and look at the Christmas lights. One of Steve’s favourite things about New York was how many Christmas lights there were during the holiday season. Bucky wore his new gloves, much to Steve’s delight.

When they got home, Steve forced Bucky to watch _Home Alone_ with him while they stuffed themselves with Christmas chocolate, before they eventually both passed out on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and each other’s arms.

 

****

 

Steve sat at his desk listening to Sam regale him with stories from Christmas in D.C. He’d apologised for missing it again, but Sam was completely understanding about Bucky, though Steve didn’t tell him about it being the anniversary of his parents’ death—some things weren’t for him to tell. He just said Bucky had been having a hard time.

“Anyway, I never got to tell you my Christmas present from Riley,” Sam started.

“Are you pausing for dramatic effect?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow when Sam didn’t speak again.

“Hell yes I am,” Sam said, smiling widely. “He’s coming home in March! For good!”

Steve broke into a huge smile and got to his feet to hug Sam. “That’s so great, Sam!”

Sam nodded, clearly giddy about the news. “Oh, there’s something else also,” he said, looking at Steve a little more seriously. “Will you be my best man?”

Steve gaped at him. “You’re engaged?!” he practically shrieked.

Sam laughed at his reaction. “Yep! I always thought as soon as we knew when he’d be back, I’d ask him. So I did,” he said simply.

“I’m so happy for you,” Steve grinned, feeling giddy for his friends. They deserved it, they’d been through so much together and now they would finally have their happy ending.

“So you’ll be best man, right?” Sam asked again.

Steve hugged him again. “I’d be honoured.”

 

****

 

It snowed on New Year’s Eve. Much to Steve’s surprise, Bucky was delighted. He particularly delighted in putting snow down Steve’s back and pelting him with snowballs when they went to the park.

Steve watched Bucky running about, his heart completely full. Sometimes he was just hit by these moments where he didn’t realise it was possible to love someone so much.

It had been truly one of the best weeks of Steve’s life, even though it had started tinged in sadness. Bucky hadn’t left his place since he’d stayed at Christmas. Steve had gone in to work for a couple of days, but mostly they’d just spent time in their own little cocoon away from the outside world. Steve wished they could stay there forever—he’d even had little daydreams about asking Bucky to move in, but he knew it wasn’t the right time—Bucky wouldn’t want to leave Clint, even if they didn’t have until the end of school before their lease was up.

Still, maybe after that, Steve thought to himself, before he was rudely pulled from his thoughts by a snowball to the face.

He sputtered and looked over at Bucky who was standing there with a hugely satisfied smile on his face.

Steve growled at him. “Oh, you are asking for it now!”

He set off after Bucky, who had already had the sense to run. Unfortunately for him, Steve was faster and he quickly caught him, grabbing him from behind and wrestling him down into the snow while Bucky shrieked and laughed.

Steve got distracted again, lying there in the snow with Bucky, looking at the snow in Bucky’s hair and the beautiful contrast it made and then suddenly he was freezing as Bucky shoved snow up his shirt again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys, the stats for this are amazing to me, especially for my first ever fic, thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> If you like, leave me a comment, I love hearing what people think :)
> 
> Three chapters left :( And two of them aren't that long compared to later chapters :(


	15. Sam and Riley get married

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time moves on. Bucky gets jealous. Sam and Riley get married. Neither of those things are related.

Sometimes Steve wondered how his life got so perfect. He wondered if he had done something really good in a past life to deserve the happiness he had now, because everything seemed to have fallen into place. It had been four months since New Year’s and things were so great with Bucky, Steve sometimes felt like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Shield was also doing well—so well that Steve had hired additional designers a month previously, as well as another manager who’d started that week, to take some of the load off him, so he could do more design work. Viz came highly recommended and Steve instantly got on with him, liking his straightforward attitude.

Another thing Steve liked about Viz was his dry wit, which currently had Steve laughing so hard that his stomach hurt. Steve was showing him the system they used to track projects, in his office, Viz leaning over his shoulder to take a look at the screen.

There was knock on the open door and Steve looked up to see Bucky standing there, looking far too gorgeous in his leather jacket. He managed to control his laughter finally as he smiled over at him. “Hey, Buck, what are you doing here?”

Bucky occasionally stopped by the office, but not too often, saying he didn’t want to intrude on Steve’s place of work. Steve was, of course, perfectly fine with Bucky coming by whenever he wanted. He still felt a warm glow when he looked at his boyfriend. His boyfriend who was currently glaring at him just a little.

“Brought you coffee,” Bucky said, holding up the coffee holder in his hand that contained two Starbucks cups.

Steve watched Bucky’s eyes flicker over to the man next to him. “Oh, this is Viz, he’s our new account manager. Viz, this is Bucky,” Steve introduced them. He’d mentioned to Bucky that they’d hired someone new.

Viz moved his hand from where he’d been leaning over Steve’s chair and walked over to shake Bucky’s hand. “Pleasure.”

“Yeah, you too,” Bucky said, a little gruffly, Steve thought. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Steve shook his head. “It’s fine, we’re just going over some of the systems.” He smiled at Bucky, but Bucky still had that look on his face.

“I should let you get back to it then,” Bucky replied. “Here,” he said, passing the coffee holder to Viz. “Why don’t you have the other one.”

“Oh, are you sure?” Viz asked.

“Yeah,” Bucky said flatly. “Nice to meet you. See you later, Steve,” he said, turning and leaving before Steve could even say goodbye.

Steve frowned, completely unsure what that was all about. Viz looked a little bemused. “Umm, why don’t you sit and have a play on the system, I’ll be right back,” he told Viz, before getting up to follow after Bucky.

He found him in the elevator, the doors just about to close until Steve shoved his arm in, opening them again, joining Bucky, who looked up in surprise.

“Hey, what’s this face about?” Steve asked as he stood in front of Bucky and put his fingers under his chin as the doors slid shut again.

Bucky turned his head, pulling his face away. “Nothing. Just in a bad mood.” He glared at the floor.

“Why?” Steve asked, trying to catch Bucky’s eyes. If there was one thing he hated, it was Bucky being upset. He’d do anything to fix it.

“Got a bad grade,” Bucky confessed.

Steve reached out and ran his hand down Bucky’s arm. Bucky frowned down at his hand. “How bad?” Steve asked gently.

“Got a B,” Bucky mumbled.

“A B?” Steve repeated. He didn’t mean to laugh, he really didn’t, but he couldn’t help it. “You think a B is a bad grade?”

Bucky finally met his eyes, looking positively pissed off now. “It’s bad for me, alright.”

The elevator dinged as they arrived on the ground floor. Bucky made to move past him, but Steve blocked him and pushed the button to go back up, pleased no one was getting on.

“Steve, what the fuck,” Bucky complained as the doors slid closed again.

Steve frowned at Bucky’s tone of voice. “You’re really this pissed off about a grade?” he asked doubtfully. Bucky was acting like he never had before.

Bucky stomped across the elevator, which meant he stomped two steps. “No, I was slightly annoyed, so I thought I’d come and see my boyfriend and then I changed from annoyed to pissed off,” he practically growled.

Steve felt taken aback. “Because I was busy?” Steve asked, unable to think of any other reason. “You know if you said something, I would have dropped everything.” It was true. There was nothing in the world more important to him than Bucky.

Bucky snorted a laugh at him. “Maybe because when I got to my boyfriend’s office he was sitting there dying of laughter while some guy was draped all over him.” Bucky’s eyes were blazing now.

Steve blinked at him as his brain processed that. Then he burst out laughing. Bucky was jealous! That’s what this was about.

“Oh, I’m glad you think it’s so funny,” Bucky smarted.

Steve reached out and held Bucky by the shoulders. “He wasn’t draped all over me, Buck.”

This was an interesting role reversal for Steve. Usually it was him getting jealous, basically every time someone so much as looked at Bucky, which was basically every time he was out with Bucky. Bucky just turned heads wherever he went. Steve never acted on that little nagging green-eyed monster inside him—he was sure Bucky had no idea how much it bugged him—but he sometimes found himself glaring at people without Bucky noticing.

Bucky shrugged Steve off him and crossed his arms over his chest. “Jesus, you’re blind. He thinks you’re hot, I could see it on his face. And then you’re all “this is Bucky”, like how about “this is my boyfriend, Bucky” so the guy knows to back the hell off!”

Steve looked incredulously at Bucky. “Baby, there is literally a picture of you right there on my desk, I think he knows who you are. And even if he was interested, which he isn’t, why should that matter? Unless you don’t trust me?” Steve realised, frowning.

“I don’t trust other people with you,” Bucky scowled at him.

Well, damn, Steve did know how that felt. He’d once experienced it when he’d gone dancing with Bucky and his friends and some guy had tried to dance with Bucky. Bucky had very firmly told him no thanks, and Steve hadn’t intervened, not wanting to be _that_ kind of boyfriend, but it had made his blood boil that the guy had thought he even had the right to try.

The elevator dinged, back at Steve’s floor. He took Bucky’s hand and yanked him out, as Bucky objected a little. He pulled Bucky along, back to his office, where Viz was sitting at the computer.

“Viz, can we catch up a little later? I have to help Bucky with something,” Steve told him.

Viz nodded, looking at their entwined hands. “Of course,” he said, as he got up and left the office.

“You can’t just drag me back here like some kind of caveman,” Bucky complained at him.

Steve shut the door and made sure the blinds on the glass sections of his office walls were firmly shut, before grabbing Bucky by the face and pushing him up against the door and crushing their lips together.

Bucky pushed his hand against Steve’s chest, pushing him off after a second. “And you can’t just kiss me and think it’s all okay,” he grumbled.

Steve ran his hand down Bucky’s face. “It’s all in your head, baby.” He pushed himself back up against Bucky. “Why would I want anyone else when I have the most perfect, sweetest, sexiest boyfriend in the world right here,” he said, punctuating his description with kisses to Bucky’s neck while Bucky squirmed.

He broke away and looked into Bucky’s eyes. “You know I love you,” he said softly.

Bucky sighed, finally relenting. “Fine. But I don’t like that guy,” he warned.

Steve smiled. “Noted.”

Bucky caressed his face, Steve’s skin tingling beneath his touch. “I love you too,” Bucky sighed out at him.

Steve’s heart glowed. Though they said it often to each other, he still felt affected each time. It hadn’t become normal for him to hear it. He wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist. “Did we just have our first fight?” he asked, a little bemused. They’d had misunderstandings before, but nothing where Bucky had seemed truly angry with him.

Bucky shrugged. “I guess so.”

Steve couldn’t help the sly grin that came over his face. “Does that mean we get to make up now?”

Bucky’s eyes flickered over his shoulder towards Steve’s desk. Steve started to get hard as he followed Bucky’s train of thought.

“This door locks, right?” Bucky questioned.

Steve reached behind Bucky and turned the lock with a flick of his wrist. “Yep.”

Bucky looked at him, pupils dilated. “Fuck me on your desk,” he told Steve, wrapping his hands round Steve’s neck.

Steve’s brain imploded, filling with all kinds of graphic images. “Jesus, Buck,” he groaned, grabbing Bucky’s ass to lift him up, Bucky wrapping his legs round him instantly. He carried him over to the desk, before dropping him down onto it on top of some paperwork. He pulled off Bucky’s jacket and started nuzzling into Bucky’s neck, pushing him onto his back.

“Mmm, god you smell good,” Steve murmured, kissing Bucky’s soft skin while Bucky squeezed his legs together around Steve, crushing their pelvises together, causing all kinds of wonderful friction.

Bucky moaned under his kisses. “No time for that,” he said, his hand finding its way to unbutton Steve’s pants.

“Oh fuck,” Steve breathed out as he realised something, pulling away from Bucky’s neck. “I can’t.”

Bucky frowned at him. “Come on, Steve, you’re not _that_ old,” he said, with a pointed look at Steve’s crotch.

Steve swatted him on the leg. “Not that,” he said, shaking his head at Bucky’s sass. “I don’t have any stuff here.” It wasn’t like Steve kept condoms and lube on hand at the office.

Bucky grumbled, reaching into his pocket for his wallet. “God, you’re lame,” he stated as he pulled out a condom and a small lube packet and dropped them onto the desk.

Steve frowned at them. “And why are you walking around with those on hand?” he said, raising an eyebrow at Bucky.

“Gotta be prepared,” Bucky smirked back.

“I thought _I_ was the boy scout?” Steve replied.

“What you are is taking too long,” Bucky griped back.

Ugh, Steve fucking loved when Bucky got all sassy and impatient with him, because it was usually in direct correlation to how turned on he was. He undid Bucky’s jeans and pulled him up off the desk, before turning him so Bucky had his hands braced against the desk. He pulled down Bucky’s jeans, and for god’s sake, he wasn’t wearing underwear again.

“Bucky, why are you walking around out there without underwear?” Steve growled in his ear, feeling all kinds of possessive and turned on.

“Why the fuck did you think I was coming to see you,” Bucky bit back at him. “I was upset and wanted you to make me feel better.”

Steve bit back a moan. Bucky had planned this. He’d turned up to Steve’s office in the middle of the day with this in mind. He’d done that once before, blowing Steve while he sat at his desk, and it had been amazing, and now Steve thought about it, he was surprised they hadn’t done anything in his office again until now.

“I’m going to make you feel so fucking good,” Steve promised him, his voice filled with lust as he grabbed the lube packet. What the hell it was about the idea of having Bucky over his desk that made Steve so goddamn hard, he wasn’t sure, but fuck, Steve was so turned on he was practically buzzing.

He prepped Bucky as quickly as he could and soon they were fucking, hard and urgently, Bucky pressed down into the desk, covering his mouth so Steve’s office wouldn’t hear him. Steve had to hold back his own groans and it was so erotic, trying to keep quiet, while having Bucky completely at his mercy.

He eventually got Bucky to turn around, back on the desk, so he could kiss him while driving into him. It seemed a much more effective way to swallow the whimpers Bucky was making.

Steve’s phone bleeped and they snapped out of the haze they were in. He stopped thrusting as they both turned to look at the phone and he pressed the button to take the call, noting it was Peter on the intercom.

“Yeah, Pete?” he answered, before rocking his hips slowly and as quietly as he could and raising a finger to his lips as Bucky looked like he wanted to moan and also stared at Steve with wide condemning eyes.

“Just wanted to remind you that you’ve got a meeting in ten minutes,” Peter said while Steve sucked a little mark onto Bucky’s collarbone and he let out a small squeak.

“Thanks Pete, I’ll be there,” Steve said, before disconnecting and thrusting harder into Bucky.

Bucky smacked him on the arm. “You are such a dick,” he groaned out quietly.

“You love my dick,” Steve said back, reaching to stroke Bucky’s cock.

Bucky gasped at the contact. “God, that was awful, Steve,” he managed to say as the air seemed to be punched from his lungs.

Steve smiled and moved his hand faster and moments later Bucky was coming around him, as Steve smothered his gasp with a long, deep kiss, before the pressure around his cock was too much and he came as well, panting, feeling sweat rolling down his back under his shirt.

“Fuck,” Bucky breathed out quietly as Steve pulled out. “Oh, fuck,” he said again, but not in the same reverent tone and Steve saw him looking at his shirt, which he’d now ruined with his own come.

Steve pressed his lips together in a tight line, trying not to laugh.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at him. “Hey, I’m not the one who’ll be embarrassed walking past all your employees out there.”

Hmm, he had a point. Steve did up his pants, trying to make himself look more respectable again. Bucky did the same, grimacing as he used some tissues to clean himself up a little.

“There might be a flaw in the office sex plan,” Steve admitted.

Bucky stood and started smoothing down Steve’s hair, helping make him look presentable, then pulled on his jacket, doing it up over his ruined t-shirt. “Guess this’ll work.”

Steve pulled him in for a kiss. “See now, Buck. Why the hell would I be looking for something else? You’re incredible.”

Bucky poked him in the chest. “Yeah, and don’t you forget it.”

As if Steve could ever forget it. Bucky blew his mind in more ways than one.

He held back a smile as Bucky moved round Steve’s desk and picked up the picture of them before placing it in a more prominent position, very deliberately, before looking back at Steve with a look of innocence on his face as Steve raised his eyebrow at him.

When he walked Bucky out, they went past Viz’s desk and Steve was pretty sure he saw Bucky smirk in his direction, looking a little triumphant.

 

****

 

Steve wasn’t going to cry. He was definitely not going to cry. He took a deep breath and tried to control himself.

He stood next to Sam, watching his face as he looked at Riley, as they were about to start their vows.

Steve had been amazed at how fast they had been able to organise a wedding after Riley got home. They’d gone for a fairly small and simple wedding, Steve helping to organise things whenever Sam needed help, but it was beautiful.

They were in upstate New York, the wedding taking place outside at a beautiful wedding barn venue, decorated in a simple blue and gold theme. It suited Sam and Riley to a tee.

It was gorgeous weather—Steve could see why they’d chosen early May for the wedding. That and Sam said he didn’t want to wait anymore, to the point that he hadn’t been above getting Tony to pull some strings with wedding vendors when he needed him to.

Steve glanced over at Bucky where he was sitting looking stunning all dressed up in a suit. He raised his mouth in a little smile at Steve, possibly noticing Steve getting emotional. Steve managed a smile back, while still trying to keep from getting teary.

Riley went first with his vows. Sam had said they were keeping them short cause “no one really wants to listen to us showing off about each other”, but that didn’t make them any less beautiful. He spoke about how lucky he’d felt to find Sam and Steve watched as Sam got a bit teary.

Sam spoke about all they’d been through together since meeting in the Air Force and the obstacles they’d overcome and how he wouldn’t have it any other way. Steve could understand that. Sometimes the bumps in the road were hard, but it was how you ended up where you were. Who knew where you’d be without them.

Steve passed Sam the ring when it was time, while Riley’s best man did the same. And then just like that, they were being declared married and Steve was feeling weepy again and tried to dab surreptitiously at his eyes as they kissed.

 

****

 

“They are so cute together,” Steve commented to Bucky as they watched Sam and Riley’s first dance, his heart full of happiness for his friends.

Bucky nodded and took a sip of his wine. “Yeah, they are.”

When they asked for other couples to join them on the floor, Steve reached out his hand to Bucky.

“I don’t know, Steve, I’ve seen you dance,” Bucky teased.

“This isn’t dancing, it’s swaying. I’m an excellent swayer,” Steve argued.

Bucky downed his wine and took Steve’s hand and Steve led him onto the dance floor. They swayed to the music, Steve getting lost in the feeling of holding Bucky and having Bucky hold him.

It was especially nice to spend time with Bucky like this. He only had a couple of weeks until he finished college and the past month had been particularly hectic. Bucky had been stressed and Steve had been missing him. They’d hardly had time to talk about Bucky’s plans for his masters. Steve knew that his lease wasn’t up until August though, so he was planning to wait until Bucky graduated to raise the idea of Bucky moving in with him. It had been nine months since they’d met and Steve thought they both seemed ready for that next step. Who was he kidding—he’d been ready since the first time Bucky stayed with him.

After a couple of slow dances, the music changed to something more upbeat, and Steve was definitely not drunk enough to attempt that sort of dancing yet, so they abandoned the dance floor.

“Drinks?” Bucky suggested, as Wanda and Pietro joined them.

“What else are weddings for?” Pietro agreed. “Come on,” he said to Bucky and they headed to the bar, leaving Steve and Wanda behind.

Bucky and Pietro had become much friendlier over the last few months, maybe because Pietro was younger so they had more in common, and especially since Natasha had finished her internship so there was no weirdness about her being friends with Pietro outside work. Steve had been informed that they were definitely _just_ friends when he’d got curious.

“It was such a beautiful wedding, I’m so happy for them,” Wanda said as they watched Sam and Riley dancing still, but now showing off the fact that they actually _could_ dance, Steve thought.

“I know, me too,” Steve said with a little happy sigh as he watched them.

“Maybe you will be next?” Wanda said suggestively, somehow reading the look on Steve’s face.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he replied casually.

Wanda scoffed at him. “Look at your lying face! You’ve definitely thought about it.”

He definitely had. Maybe a bit too much lately. Bucky was everything he wanted, of course he wanted that forever.

“What’s he thought about?” Tony interrupted, slinging his arm around Steve’s shoulders.

“Doing this with Bucky,” Wanda told him, smiling widely.

“Oh jeez, well that’s obvious,” Tony replied while Steve shrugged him off. “You’ve practically been in love with him since the moment you met, you probably fantasize about this daily.”

Steve glared at him for a moment and then relented. “Okay, sure, yes, I’ve thought about it. I mean, not yet, but one day.”

“Pfft,” Wanda replied. “One day soon.”

Steve rolled his eyes. Okay, technically she was right, if Bucky wanted to, Steve would marry him tomorrow. But Bucky was young and Steve wasn’t crazy enough to think he was ready for marriage.

“Just admit it, Cap. You know you wanna put a ring on that,” Tony said, before laughing at his own words.

“Put a ring on what?” Thor boomed as he joined them, taking a sip from his glass of what looked like whiskey.

“Fire emoji Bucky,” Tony informed him.

Wanda laughed. “Please tell me you haven’t called him that to his face?”

Tony lifted his hands in a ‘who knows’ sort of gesture.

Steve pulled an exaggerated frown. “Should I be concerned with how hot you apparently find my boyfriend?”

“Careful, Tony, don’t poke the jealous bear,” Thor said in a fake whisper.

Steve hit him on the arm. He was pretty sure it hurt his hand more than Thor’s arm.

“The jealous bear should tie his boy down already.” Tony suddenly looked bemused. “Huh, there’s a visual…”

“Oh god, please stop,” Steve groaned.

“Admit you want to and I will,” Tony smirked.

Steve rubbed his hand over his forehead. “Okay, fine, yes I’d love to marry him,” he admitted.

“White for you,” Pietro’s voice cut in as he appeared behind Steve and passed Wanda a glass.

“I got you red,” Bucky said as he moved round Steve’s left side to pass him a glass. He took a large sip of his own wine as he did so.

“Hmm, looks like I need to catch up,” Tony mused, looking at his own empty glass. “Just don’t do it today and steal Sam’s thunder,” he said loudly at Steve as he wandered off. Steve cringed a little.

“I’m gonna go dance with Nat,” Bucky told Steve. “I saw her flirting with Sam’s cousin at the bar. He’ll probably have a heart attack if I don’t save him.”

“Okay,” Steve nodded as Bucky moved away again, happy that he didn’t seem to know or care what Tony was talking about.

“Come on, you can dance with me,” Wanda told Steve, dragging him out before he could protest too much.

 

****

 

“You know, you’re really pretty.”

Steve looked over at Bucky. “Okay, you’re definitely drunk,” he replied.

They’d just made it back to their hotel room and it was nearing three in the morning. Steve was a bit drunk himself but every time he’d seen Bucky, he’d had a glass in his hand. Not that he’d even seen him that much in the last few hours of the reception. Bucky had taken it upon himself to dance with Nat and then almost every one of Steve’s friends, basically never leaving the dance floor.

“I drunked but I’m not drunk,” Bucky replied, not slurring but getting the words wrong. “You’re still pretty.”

Steve shrugged as he removed his shoes. “Whatever you say, Buck.”

Bucky flopped back on the bed. “I like it here, can we stay here?”

Steve started undressing. “We are staying here,” he reminded Bucky, smiling as he looked at his boyfriend and how cute he was, all tired, with his suit a little rumpled now.

“Noooo,” Bucky said as one long sigh. “Can we stay forever? I don’t want to go out there anymore.”

“Out where?” Steve asked, a little amused, as he dumped his clothes on a chair.

“There!” Bucky emphasised the word like it would make more sense that way. “The real world.”

Steve started taking off Bucky’s shoes for him as he didn’t seem to be making a move to do so. “Hate to break it to ya, but this is the real world too.”

“You’re wrong,” Bucky said emphatically. “I have to be James out there. I have to know things and do things. Here I’m just yours.”

Steve wasn’t really sure where he was going with this. Probably nowhere seeing as it was the alcohol talking. “You’re mine out there too,” Steve reminded him.

“I want to sleep,” Bucky said decisively and abruptly, lifting his arms and dropping them back onto the bed, spreading them wide. “Steve, make me naked,” he ordered.

Steve chuckled. He went to unbutton Bucky’s shirt and pants and after some cajoling, managed to get Bucky out of them.

“You’re so nice,” Bucky told him, sort of patting Steve’s face. “I didn’t want to like you,” he whispered as though telling Steve a secret.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Okay?” He pulled back the bedcovers, getting Bucky to roll under them.

Bucky let out a happy sigh as he smushed himself into the bed, that thread of conversation apparently over. “Why can’t I stay?” he murmured into the pillows.

Steve climbed in, shaking his head at Bucky. He was a cute drunk. “We are staying, Buck,” he reminded him before planting a kiss on Bucky’s head and switching off the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters left. 
> 
> Mad love for everyone who's stuck with this fic :)


	16. Bucky graduates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's bad. Turn back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise in advance.
> 
> This is what the angst tag always referred to.

Steve was starting to worry. He wished Sam wasn’t on his honeymoon because he could really use his advice right now.

It was Bucky’s graduation the next day and he’d invited Steve, and Steve _still_ hadn’t decided on a present. He’d just arrived home, having failed at shopping again.

He stood trying to think of something as he waited for his coffee to brew. He found himself staring at his kitchen drawer, where he kept his spare key. Maybe he didn’t need to buy anything after all. He’d been thinking about asking Bucky to move in with him and Bucky didn’t really care about presents much anyway. The idea made him buzz with excitement and nervousness all at once.

Not five minutes later, Bucky knocked on the door, there to bring Steve his ticket to graduation. Bucky had given his other ticket to Clint for his family to use, seeing as his sister couldn’t make it.

Bucky had actually asked her—they seemed to be trying a bit harder to stay in contact lately, Steve knew, but she already had a vacation booked with her boyfriend. Bucky didn’t seem too upset by it. Though actually, Steve wasn’t really sure. Bucky hadn’t been himself lately. Steve figured it was the stress of finishing college, but now the hard part was done and Bucky still seemed on edge. Steve hadn’t seen his favourite smile in what seemed like weeks.

“So, I’ll see you after the ceremony then,” Bucky finished. He’d been explaining to Steve what time to get there and where to meet later. As the graduate, Bucky needed to be there earlier so he wouldn’t see Steve beforehand.

Steve looked at Bucky’s face. He didn’t look even a tiny bit excited. He just looked withdrawn and a little sad.

“I better go, just wanted to drop this off,” Bucky said, kissing Steve’s cheek lightly and starting to turn back to the hallway.

“Hey, wait,” Steve said. “Can’t you stay for dinner? I feel like I haven’t seen you this week.” He felt bad for saying it as they’d always agreed to be understanding about each other’s schedules, but he missed his boyfriend.

Bucky didn’t even turn. “Can’t,” he said simply.

Steve frowned. This wasn’t normal behaviour from Bucky. He usually would have at least _acted_ sad that he couldn’t stay. He usually would have looked at Steve.

“Bucky, what’s wrong?” Steve asked, starting to get worried.

Bucky paused a few feet from the hallway. “Nothing, just got stuff to do,” he said with a little turn of his head. His eyes didn’t meet Steve’s.

Steve’s heart had started pounding. He could feel it jumping in his chest. There was a strange atmosphere between them. “James,” he said before he even realised he’d spoken. He’d never called Bucky that before. It made him stop entirely and turn around.

“Steve…” Bucky said. It came out as a pained sound. He was still not looking at him, but Steve could see the look on his face now. It was the look that said ‘I’m about to say something you won’t want to hear’.

“I didn’t want to do this yet,” Bucky said quietly.

Steve felt a chill go through him at those words. “Do what?”

Bucky ran a hand through his hair, looking at the floor. “We should sit.”

Steve was feeling a little like he might need to sit down, so he did as Bucky wanted and moved further into the room to sit on the sofa.

Bucky joined him, leaving a gap between them before he turned a little to face him, though still not looking directly at Steve. “I...” he started. He paused for a moment. “I’m going away.”

Steve frowned. “You’re going away?” he repeated doubtfully.

“To South America,” Bucky confirmed. “There’s this thing where you go and help build houses and that sort of thing. I signed up for summer.”

“Oh.” Steve wasn’t sure why Bucky was only telling him this now. He’d thought Bucky was going to spend the summer working, getting ready for his masters. Bruce was happy to give him an internship if he wanted one. “How long for?” he asked, while he tried to get his head round it.

Bucky was clasping his fingers together and looking down at them. “I mean, officially three months, but I don’t know.”

 _Three months?_ Steve thought. That was a long time. And what did he mean officially?

“I just...I don’t really know where to go next, you know? I’m graduating and all I’ve been focused on for four years is that, and now I feel like I don’t know what I want to do after all that work,” Bucky continued.

“What about your masters?” Steve asked. Bucky had never told him he wasn’t sure about continuing his studies.

Bucky shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I applied for that because I really wanted to or if it was just because it seemed like the thing to do.” He paused again. “I feel like I’m on this train and it keeps going and if I stay on it either it’ll never stop or I’ll fall off it.” He sounded kind of shaky.

Steve could understand that. “It’s okay if you’re unsure, Buck. You just need to take some time and clear your head. You’re probably just still stressed from finishing.” Steve wasn’t trying to make light of what Bucky was telling him, but he was sure Bucky just needed a few days to decompress and relax. Steve could help with that. Maybe he could take him somewhere for a weekend away or maybe a proper vacation.

“You’re right,” Bucky agreed. He looked like he was struggling for words for a moment as Steve watched him. “The thing is, I don’t think I can do that here,” he said finally.

“So you’re going to be gone for three months?” Steve couldn’t really imagine being without Bucky for three months. He didn’t _want_ to be without Bucky for three months.

Bucky finally lifted his head and looked at Steve. His eyes were glassy. “It might be longer.”

Steve took a deep breath, trying to hold it together himself. He was having a hard time processing it. He looked down at his hands where they rested in his lap.

“I don’t want you to wait for me.”

Steve was used to stopping breathing around Bucky but it was usually for very different reasons. The sudden lack of air that overcame him now was due to intense panic running through him.

“I don’t know where I’m going to end up and it’s not fair to you. So I think we should make a clean break,” Bucky continued.

Steve couldn’t look at Bucky but he could hear Bucky’s voice shaking. The word “break” reverberated in his head. “We’re...we’re breaking up?” Steve asked quietly, barely able to get the words out.

“Steve, it’s not because I don’t love you because you know I do. I love you so much,” Bucky’s voice hitched.

Steve forced himself to look at Bucky. There were tears on his face. “So don’t do it. If you need time to do this then I’ll wait,” he told Bucky. It would be horrible and hard to be without him, but Steve could do it, if Bucky needed it. They could talk on the phone and Steve could maybe visit and they could make it work.

“I need to figure out what I want and I can’t do that if there are things I’m…tied to,” Bucky said carefully. “I need to be by myself and I don’t…I don’t think we should stay in contact.”

Steve had always thought he’d been heartbroken before. Now he knew what a fool he was because those times had been nothing. This was like everything inside him had been ripped out. He felt hollow. He didn’t feel like crying. He didn’t feel like yelling. He just felt dead.

“Okay,” he found himself saying slowly. “That’s your choice to make so okay.” He stood up from the sofa with no idea why.

“Steve…” Bucky sounded wounded. He was crying. Steve thought that was weird because he was the one leaving. He was the one causing himself to cry.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for,” Steve said. It seemed like the right thing to say.

Bucky stood and moved towards him. Steve felt himself step back. He didn’t really mean to. He moved towards the kitchen instead. He thought practically.

“Here, you should have this back,” Steve said, picking up his graduation ticket from where he’d left it on the kitchen counter and holding it out to Bucky.

Bucky didn’t take it. He shook his head. “I…I’d still really like you to come. I know I have no right to ask you, but please...think about it?”

Steve put the ticket back down on the counter. “Uh, okay.” He wasn’t sure if he was saying okay to going or okay to thinking about it. He wasn’t sure about anything. He wasn’t really sure how he was still standing.

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” he heard Bucky say.

Steve nodded, still staring at the graduation ticket on the kitchen counter and taking in the detail of the quartz countertop as it reflected the light. “Yeah, me too. I guess you should go.” He felt like he wasn’t sure what he was even saying. It was more like automatic responses coming out of his mouth.

Bucky stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Steve before Steve could do anything and Steve realised he wasn’t dead because sudden pain was thundering through his chest. He pulled away quickly. Having Bucky in his arms was too much—holding him, smelling him…there was too much he was losing.

“I need you to go now,” he told Bucky because he suddenly knew he wasn’t going to be able to hold it together much longer.

“Stevie…” Bucky breathed out.

“Please, Buck,” Steve said, his voice tight. He dug his nails into his palm and walked mechanically to the hallway, forcing his feet to move, feeling Bucky following him.

When he opened the door, Bucky went to leave but then stood there in the outside hallway just looking at Steve. Steve met his eyes for a moment and it was crushing, looking into those perfect gray-blue eyes and knowing that he didn’t get to see them anymore.

Steve couldn’t do this anymore. He looked at the floor. “Bye, Buck,” he said quietly, before doing something he never thought he’d do and closing the door while Bucky stood there.

Then the choked gasp he’d been holding down surfaced.

 

****

 

Steve went to Bucky’s graduation. He sat next to Clint’s family. When Bucky crossed the stage, he looked over at Steve. Steve tried to smile for him. He applauded for him. He applauded for Clint and Natasha when they called their names.

When it was over, the graduates stood and started to head off to see their families. Steve watched Bucky stand and look over at him. Steve looked back at him, his eyes capturing all the details of the face he loved. Then, before Bucky could start moving towards him, he forced himself to walk away.

 

****

 

When Steve got home, he changed out of his suit. Then he spent the next two days in bed.

On the third day, he made some calls. On the fourth, he packed a bag. He knew exactly what he had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> Comments/hate mail welcome :p


	17. Bucky on the road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter.

_'Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.'_

That fucking quote kept running round in Bucky’s head. He’d always loved that book, but now he sort of felt like he’d come to hate it. Sometimes he did feel like he had everything ahead of him, it was true, but there was always something behind him.

He shut his eyes for a moment and shook his head, trying to shake his thoughts away. He didn’t want to think of that. He lifted up the next beam needed to support the roof section they were working on today. One of the guys, T’Challa, helped him lift it and they moved it over to where it was needed. Then they did the same with the next eight beams.

Bucky paused and wiped away the sweat gathering on his forehead. It was blisteringly hot and the manual labour wasn’t helping matters, but it was good. All he could think about was how sweaty he was.

He made sure to work hard all day, knowing it would help him sleep better later. Sleep was better than lying awake and letting his brain kick in. Sleep was better unless he had dreams.

Unfortunately for him, he didn’t sleep well that night. He lay there staring at the ceiling, listening to the sounds of other people sleeping in his shared room. Eventually he pulled out his phone and sent a message to Nat. She wasn’t really talking to him much lately, but she never ignored him outright.

When she’d found out that he was leaving, she’d been pissed at him. When she’d found out he’d left Steve, she’d been so fucking angry with him, he’d actually had to leave her house so she wouldn’t convince him that he was making a mistake, because she was so adamant that he was. She’d kept going on about Thanksgiving and telling him it was just like that, when he’d been scared and had pulled away from Steve, until she’d told him how stupid he was being. She really liked Steve. She thought he was good for Bucky. Now she thought he was _too_ good for Bucky. The last thing she said to him before he practically ran out of her house was to call him a coward.

She’d since apologised by text, but things were still different between them. Bucky sometimes hated that, but sometimes he thought not having much contact with his friends was good. He’d left to get away from everything, after all.

Nat sent him back a quick update on what she was up to and Bucky did the same. She never told him about Steve and he never asked. He knew she was still in contact with some of the people at Shield, and possibly Steve himself, but it was better for him not to know.

He kept in contact with Clint a little too. Clint had got a job at the Bronx Zoo just like he’d hoped to after graduation. Bucky was proud of him. Clint had never given him an opinion on what Bucky was doing, he’d just asked Bucky to let him know in time if he’d be wanting to rent with him again. Bucky still wasn’t sure.

Bucky put his phone down and closed his eyes, trying to sleep, but he kept thinking about what his options were and what he should do next.

The next day he did it all over again, just like he had the day before, and the day before that.

 

****

 

“Jesus, I’m tired,” Bucky groaned as he settled down on the mat placed next to the fire, pulling his knees up, arms wrapped round them. It wasn’t cold, but the fire was needed for light and possibly to keep some animals away.

“You and me both,” Loki replied as he settled down next to Bucky. He passed him a can of beer, which Bucky took gratefully. He wasn’t sure where Loki had managed to acquire it, but they’d gotten into this routine of drinking by the fire most nights. Bucky liked it. It helped with sleeping.

In the two and a half months he’d been there, he’d become closest to Loki out of all the other volunteers. They were the same age and he was always somehow getting into trouble and always entertaining Bucky. Where the other volunteers seemed a little more sensible, Loki was always wanting to get out and explore and Bucky was more than willing to go with him. Where the other volunteers went to bed early, like right then, he and Loki would stay up talking, even after having an exhausting day.

“Sometimes I wonder why I’m putting myself through this,” Loki continued.

Bucky nodded, staring into the flames of the fire as they danced in front of him, flickering and crackling. He wondered that every day, but for different reasons. It wasn’t the work that made it hard. He liked it here—he knew he was helping and doing good and there was something freeing about being in a new place and experiencing everything it had to offer, but that didn’t mean that every day he didn’t struggle. He tried hard not to think about it but sometimes he couldn’t help it. Sometimes the thoughts just overwhelmed him. Some days he wanted to leave so badly he couldn’t stand it. Most days he wondered if he’d completely fucked up. Every day he thought about Steve.

He had hoped it would fade with time. That’s what everyone always said, right? Time heals all wounds? So far, time was doing jack shit. And his wounds were self-inflicted. That was what hurt the most sometimes—that he could pinpoint the exact moment he made himself feel like this.

When they were working, it was better. There was something about doing really hard manual labour that didn’t give your brain time to think as much. Bucky liked having a focus like that. Part of the reason he’d left was because he’d lost that. He hadn’t known what to focus on. So he’d thought like a scientist—thinking with logic. He didn’t know what he wanted—Steve did. He was just starting out—Steve, from what he’d overheard at Sam’s wedding, was ready for marriage. He was supposed to be on a wide open path, but if he was with Steve…well, he knew himself. Steve would always come first in Bucky’s mind and logic told him that that wasn’t the way to decide on his future—by basing the decision on someone else and where they were. So logic told him he should leave Steve. Logic made it sound simple.

Instead it was, and continued to be, the hardest thing he’d ever done. Even though it fucked him up to think it, it was even harder than coming to terms with the death of his parents. At least then there had been nothing he could do. He couldn’t have chosen differently and have them be alive. It was out of his hands. This was completely in his hands. _His_ hands had broken Steve’s heart and his own. His stupid, dumbass, logic hands.

Steve’s birthday had been the hardest day so far. He’d felt like complete shit for not calling him or at least texting him, but it wouldn’t be fair on Steve—he had no right to contact him in any way—he’d made the choice after all. Still, he’d thought of him all day. Bucky hoped he’d been out with Sam and his friends somewhere, having a good time. Maybe Tony had thrown him a ridiculous party. Maybe Steve was seeing someone new and had spent it with them. The thought of that made Bucky feel sick. Even though he knew he should wish the best for Steve, he didn’t want to think of someone else with him, of someone else getting to touch him. He hated himself for feeling that way, it was completely selfish, but he couldn’t stop the way his stomach clenched at the thought of it.

Bucky often thought about what Steve was doing at that exact same moment in time, especially when it was night and he was left alone with his thoughts. He could picture Steve in his apartment right now, maybe settled on the sofa, or maybe drawing something outside on the terrace. His unhelpful brain painted himself into the picture so he was there next to Steve, and he took a long swig of his beer, trying to clear the pictures from his mind.

Sometimes he thought back to when they’d met. He remembered how he hadn’t been looking to get involved with anyone but Steve drew him in and he couldn’t help himself. In his really low moments he sometimes wished that he’d done the smart thing and not got involved. In the low moments he wasn’t sure if that saying about it being better to have loved and lost was true.

He felt Loki nudge him with his shoulder. “What’s got you so deep in thought?”

Bucky realised he’d just been staring at the fire, probably for a good few minutes. He shrugged. “Just thinking. Ever regret something?”

“Sometimes,” Loki replied. “What do you regret?”

Bucky turned his head towards him. “Just sometimes wonder if I should have done something. Then I wonder if I should or shouldn’t do something now.”

Loki looked at him, his eyes looking almost completely black like coal in the firelight. “I think the same thing sometimes,” he said, almost dreamily.

Bucky let out a small huff. “Yeah?” he said, raising his eyebrow. He was sure Loki couldn’t possibly have as many regrets as he did.

“Yeah.”

Bucky was suddenly shocked as Loki abruptly moved, leaning in and kissing him before he could do anything. Bucky felt himself freeze for a second.

He automatically thought back to the last time he’d kissed Steve. It hadn’t been any special moment, just a normal kiss before they’d both headed off out somewhere, but Bucky remembered it. He remembered the times when Steve would kiss his hair or his face when he thought Bucky was still sleeping soundly. He remembered how Steve would hold him and sometimes he would wake up feeling smothered by Steve’s large frame, but he loved it. He remembered how Steve would look at him like he was the only thing in the room. He remembered how Steve would always find some way to touch or kiss him, never wanting to be away from him for too long. He remembered when they would make love. Bucky had always hated that term, but it was the only term for how Steve treated him. He remembered how safe he felt afterwards, wrapped in Steve’s arms.

Bucky pulled away from Loki. He felt physically sick. He felt like the fire had burnt away all the air, even though they were outside.

“I’m sorry, I thought…” Loki apologised as Bucky stumbled to get to his feet.

“I have to go,” Bucky managed to say, leaving Loki there, not even noticing if he was upset.

He made it to the other side of the main building before he stopped moving and stood there, hand against the wall to steady himself, breathing heavily, feeling panicked.

Loki kissing him was nothing like Steve kissing him. He was a fun, cute guy, and objectively Bucky could see he was a catch, but he wasn’t Steve. It felt wrong. They didn’t fit together like he and Steve did. With Loki he didn’t feel anything, not like he had with Steve. Even that first moment when he’d seen Steve in the diner, there had been something there. Something more than just attraction or lust for the frankly devastatingly handsome man who’d stared at him the whole night with those bright blue eyes. There had been this spark and the spark had never disappeared since. It was always there—Bucky had just been doing an apparently better job than he’d thought at burying it down and trying to smother it. It was like Loki kissing him had been the catalyst and all the thoughts he’d tried to push down were surfacing.

He had the sudden and horrific realisation that with all his thoughts of logic, he’d completely missed the most obvious logic of all—that he loved Steve and Steve had loved him. Nothing else needed to match. Bucky’s future could be whatever he wanted, but it would only be the right future if he was with Steve.

Oh god, Steve…Steve whose heart he completely stomped on. Steve who’d made the most heartbreaking sound after he’d closed the door on Bucky. Steve who even after that _still_ came to his graduation the next day to support him and had _still_ sat there looking proud of him. Steve who’d completely respected his wishes and hadn’t contacted him once. Steve who would probably never speak to him again.

Bucky truly felt like he might throw up. He took these deep, gasping breaths, trying to stop the pure anxiety now coursing through him. He thought he’d known what he was doing, but it was as though he’d never truly processed reality until then. What the fuck had he done? He had to see Steve.

 

****

 

Being outside the Shield offices, looking up at the glass-fronted building, felt a little surreal to Bucky. The volunteer organisers had been remarkably understanding when he’d gone to them two days ago to explain that he had to return home early, though that may have been because he’d made up having a family emergency. That, and a large chunk of his savings, meant it hadn’t taken him long before he’d arrived back in New York, though to Bucky every minute felt like it was taking a day. He’d stopped to literally throw his bag into Nat’s house, thanking her profusely, before going straight into Manhattan. He was half terrified and half buzzing with electricity at the thought of seeing Steve again.

He knew it probably wasn’t his best idea, to ambush Steve at work, but Bucky couldn’t wait until later, he just couldn’t. He’d spent too long away already—every minute more was a wasted minute.

He took a deep breath and went in. Security still recognised him, he’d visited many times before. As he stood in the elevator, he tried to control his breathing and stay calm. If Steve didn’t want to see him, he would have to accept that, not that he was sure _how_ he’d accept that. He tried to not think about that outcome and hoped to god that Steve would want to see him. He managed to have a little faith somehow that he would.

The doors dinged open and he automatically started gazing around. Steve was sometimes out in the main office space, but not today. He sort of nodded at a couple of people who knew who he was, but didn’t stop until he got through the glass doors to where Peter’s desk was just outside Steve’s office.

He watched as Peter’s eyes went wide at seeing him, while he took in that Steve’s door was closed. “Is Steve in?” he asked Peter with no preamble. He didn’t have time to catch up right now.

“Umm, no, he’s not,” Peter said, looking a little flustered. “Sam?” he called out and Bucky saw Sam’s door was open and a moment later Sam appeared in the doorway. Sam looked at him with the same wide eyes as Peter for a moment. He supposed he should get used to that.

“Sam, do you know when Steve will be back?” Bucky asked him, looking at Steve’s closed office door again. For some reason he flashed back to Sam’s shovel talk. He’d really screwed up. He was surprised that Sam hadn’t slammed the door in his face yet.

Sam stopped making the surprised face and sighed. “You should come in,” he said, gesturing for Bucky to follow him to his office.

Bucky followed frowning. Sam closed the door behind them and Bucky saw that Tony was there and seemed to be glowering at him. Bucky supposed he deserved that—Steve’s friends probably didn’t like him much anymore.

“You’ve got balls, kid,” Tony said, full of hostility as he saw Bucky.

“Tony...” Sam said in a warning tone.

“No,” Tony replied, glaring at Sam. “What the hell is he doing here?”

“I just need to see Steve,” Bucky told him. He hadn’t expected to have to battle with Steve’s friends, but he would explain himself to all of them if he had to, if it meant they would tell him where to find Steve.

“Why, so you can break his heart again? Even with his ex he wasn’t crushed like this,” Tony said angrily.

Bucky didn’t want to argue with him. He tried to block out Tony’s words and the idea that he’d crushed Steve. “I just need to see him.”

Tony scoffed.

Sam gave him a look. “He’s not here, Bucky. He’s gone.”

Bucky blinked at him. “What do you mean?”

“He went to stay with Jacques in Marseille,” Sam said gently.

“Well when will he get back?” Bucky asked. Steve never took more than a week’s vacation at once, and that was very rare, so the most he’d be away was a week, if he’d left that day. Waiting a week to see Steve would be awful, but maybe he deserved that. No, he definitely deserved that and worse, he corrected himself.

“Yeah, we’d like to know that too,” Tony spit out.

Bucky cringed a little at the hostility and saw Sam frown at Tony, but he looked back at Bucky after a moment. “He left a few days after you broke up with him. He hasn’t been back.”

Bucky felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Steve left? Steve left because of him? Steve had been gone for almost three months because of him? He hadn’t thought he could feel worse, but apparently he could.

“But what about the company?” Bucky stuttered out.

“Viz is in charge of day to day. Steve still works remotely, mainly doing graphics again,” Sam replied while Tony scowled at him.

“But he loves this company...” Bucky said, almost to himself. Of all the things Bucky knew, he knew that was true.

“I guess he loved you more,” Sam said. Somehow he didn’t say it like an accusation and Bucky was thankful for that kindness, even though he didn’t deserve it, especially not from Steve’s best friend.

“So kid,” Tony started before Bucky could process more or say anything, “if you’re going to hurt him again, I suggest you get the hell out.”

“I’m...I’m not,” Bucky stuttered. “I came back to ask him for another chance.”

Bucky thought Sam looked slightly happy about that. Tony looked suspicious.

“Please, just tell me where Jacques lives. I’ll fly over there, I have to talk to him face to face.” He wouldn’t have any savings left at this rate, but he didn’t care. He stared at Tony, trying to convey that he really meant it.

Tony regarded him for a moment. “You promise you’re going to stick with him this time and bring him home?” he asked.

“I don’t know if he’ll even forgive me, but I have to try.” God, Bucky hoped Steve would forgive him. When he thought of going on with his life without Steve…well, there came that feeling like he had to throw up. Bucky focused on slowing his breathing. “I know I’m an idiot for letting him go,” he told them, his voice quiet. “But he’s it, you know?” He’d never been more certain about anything and he hated himself for not realising it before.

Tony stared at him, like he was deciding if Bucky was telling the truth and then his face changed and he looked a little friendlier. “Well alright then. I’ll get the jet fired up and fly you over right now,” he said, already pulling out his phone from his jacket pocket.

“Seriously?” Bucky asked, a little stunned at the offer.

“You’re not the only one who misses him, kid,” Tony said, before starting to talk down the phone.

Bucky looked over at Sam. “Sam, do you think...will he give me another chance?” Bucky asked tentatively.

Sam shrugged a little. “I really don’t know. I don’t know where his head’s at. Whatever he says though, you gotta promise me that you’ll accept it? If he doesn’t want to see you, or if he says no, then you let him decide that, no arguments, okay?” Sam looked deadly serious as he said it, folding his arms across his chest.

Bucky swallowed hard. “I promise,” he uttered. It was completely fair of Sam to say, but Bucky once again prayed that it wouldn’t be the case.

“Alright,” Tony said, as he hung up the phone. “Let’s go get our boy.”

 

****

 

Bucky thought again that he might be sick as he slowly opened the door to the garden, nerves flooding through him. Jacques and Tony stayed in the house. Jacques had been just as protective as Tony when they’d arrived without warning and knocked on his door and Bucky had needed Tony’s help to convince him to let Bucky see Steve at all. He’d finally relented and informed him that Steve was outside, painting.

Bucky had to take a moment before he went out to the garden, trying to calm his nerves and the anticipation flooding him, his body knowing that Steve was out there, just a few feet away from him now. He took a deep breath.

It took him a moment to spot Steve as he looked across the large garden. Steve was standing with his back to Bucky, an easel and canvas in front of him, in front of some trees that seemed to border the property.

Bucky paused for a moment just to look at him and the way the sun’s rays were shining off his hair and the way his back and arm muscles flexed as he moved the paintbrush across the canvas. Bucky felt his heart racing as he walked closer until he was maybe five feet from him. God, he had missed him and just being near him was overwhelming and he hadn’t even seen his face again yet.

“Stevie?” he said softly.

He saw Steve go rigid, the muscles in his back tensing up. He turned slowly and Bucky had to try to keep from crying because it felt that good to finally see him after so long. He was clean-shaven. Bucky had never seen him without a beard before. It made him look younger, more boyish. Bucky wanted to just run over and wrap his arms around him, but he had to force himself not to.

Steve looked like he’d seen a ghost, the way those perfect blue eyes were staring at him, paintbrush frozen in his hand. “Bucky?” he said quietly, voice full of disbelief.

Bucky really thought he would cry, because the sound of his voice was devastating. How could he have been so stupid to leave that?

“You cut your hair,” Steve uttered, still looking frozen in shock.

“Your beard is gone,” Bucky commented back. It really wasn’t the first thing he wanted to say to Steve.

“What are you doing here?” Steve asked, while Bucky tried to pull himself together. Steve looked so gorgeous and vibrant, it was making Bucky’s fingers ache with wanting to touch him.

Bucky took a breath. “I had to see you.”

“How did you know where I was?” Steve asked, still looking shocked but also puzzled now.

“I went to your office. Sam and Tony told me. Tony flew me over.” He couldn’t keep from staring at Steve the whole time he spoke. He looked as flawless as ever, but his eyes…there was something different there, they weren’t _his_ Steve’s eyes and then Bucky realised it was because they looked filled with pain. The realisation made Bucky truly hate himself.

Steve frowned. “He flew you over?”

“Yeah, he’s inside,” Bucky told him.

Steve looked over towards the house. “Oh.”

“You left?” Bucky said as a question, even though he knew the answer.

Steve looked troubled. “I did,” he finally replied. “Why did you need to see me?” he added.

He sounded so different, so cautious. Bucky knew he deserved that, but it was still hard to have Steve be so formal with him. Bucky moved towards him a little. Steve stayed still. “I know you must hate me—”

“I never hated you, Bucky,” Steve interrupted. “I completely understood why you left.”

Bucky blinked at him. Steve was too generous. Bucky felt the need to explain anyway. “I thought I needed to,” he started. “It felt like everything was at a turning point and I didn’t know which way to go. I needed to get my head together and I knew if I factored you in then I wouldn’t think straight.”

Steve listened to him, an unreadable look on his face.

“Three days ago, I kissed someone,” Bucky confessed softly. He didn’t want to hurt Steve, but he wanted to be honest. Maybe he was an idiot and Steve wouldn’t even care. Maybe he’d met some French guy or girl and was happy with someone else. Bucky tried to push those thoughts away.

Steve didn’t really react but he visibly swallowed.

“Or, well, they kissed me, I guess,” Bucky continued. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that it made me realise how stupid I was. It was nothing. It meant nothing and it felt wrong and all I could think about was you and how right we always were and how no one else would ever be right. All I could think about every day before that was you.”

Bucky paused for a moment, before looking into Steve’s eyes and laying himself bare. “I just didn’t think it was possible that I’d meet the love of my life at twenty-two.”

Steve visibly reacted to that one. His breath hitched as he looked at Bucky.

Bucky felt his eyes getting wet. “I know I told you not to wait. But please, please tell me that I haven’t lost you for good,” he pleaded. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I love you so damn much,” he implored Steve. He had to put his heart on the line. Steve deserved it. If Steve decided to stomp all over his heart then Bucky deserved that, but at least Steve would know that he loved him.

Bucky waited in agony while Steve took a moment to reply, just looking at Bucky for a minute. “I thought you were gone for good,” he said softly. “I knew I had to let you go, but I don’t think I managed it yet,” he admitted with a little smile.

Bucky stepped closer, the smile filling him with hope. Steve hadn’t let him go yet…

Steve moved forward until he was right in front of Bucky and dropped his paintbrush to the ground and pulled Bucky into his arms. Bucky couldn’t hold back a small sob that escaped him as he breathed Steve in. He smelled like lemongrass and paint. Steve’s arms squeezed him tightly and he felt warm and solid and just like he always did. Bucky felt his cheeks getting wet with tears as they spilled over. He didn’t care. Steve was holding him again and it was the only thing that mattered. He clung on like he would never let go.

“I’m so sorry,” Bucky sniffed at Steve’s shoulder. “Please, just say we can go back, please forgive me,” he murmured, hearing himself almost rambling at Steve.

Steve pulled back. He looked troubled again. “Bucky,” he started, and Bucky felt a little panicked, “if we do this again...” He paused and sighed. “We can’t go back. We’d be starting over and I know that no one can say forever, not really...but I just, I don’t think I can start again without feeling like it’s for the long run, you know?”

Bucky nodded furiously at him. “That’s what I want too, I swear.” He wanted forever with Steve. It had scared him before, but now the only thing that scared him was being without Steve.

Steve looked at him and brushed his thumb over Bucky’s face, wiping the tears. Then he leant down, looking at Bucky like he was the only thing in the world, and pressed his lips to Bucky’s.

It was like coming home. Steve was his home and sparks were going off inside of him. He’d been so scared he wouldn’t have this again. Steve’s lips were soft against his and sent trembles down his body just like they always did. Steve had always poured so much passion and love into every kiss with Bucky, seeming to delight in it and he was exceptionally good at it. Bucky wrapped his hands around Steve’s neck and held him close, as they kissed until they were both breathless.

Steve broke the kiss and smiled at him, looking a little dazed. Bucky kept him close, not letting go, resting his forehead against Steve’s.

“Will you move in with me?” Steve asked.

“Yes.” Bucky didn’t even need to think it through. It was what he wanted. He moved his head away for a moment. “Wait, do you mean in New York or do you want to stay here? It seems nice here, I could do here,” he said, looking around.

Steve looked bemused. “I meant New York.”

“That’s probably better,” Bucky admitted. He pressed his fingers into Steve’s neck to get him to lean down again. Steve kissed him again, deeply. He wrapped his arms around Bucky, pulling him tightly against his chest. It felt different, Steve’s skin a little stubbly against his, instead of his familiar beard, but it felt perfect.

“Stevie, I’m so sorry I put you through this,” Bucky said when he had to pull away to breathe. He knew he’d never be able to apologise enough.

Steve’s troubled look came back. “It’s been hard,” Steve admitted. “I think being here was good for me though, forced me to slow down. I picked back up with doing art for art’s sake...” he said, looking over at the painting he’d been working on.

“It’s beautiful here,” Bucky said, looking at Jacques’ garden. It was peaceful. There were beautiful wild lilies all across the garden. He could see why Steve had chosen to come here and he was glad that Steve had liked it here. It didn’t make him feel less guilty, but it made him feel happier to know Steve had been in a place as beautiful as this at least.

“Did you...I mean, if you don’t need to get back right away, maybe we could stay for a little while?” Steve asked, sounding hopeful.

Bucky wasn’t going anywhere without Steve again. He told him as much, as his hands traced up and down Steve’s waist absentmindedly. Plus he’d love to stay and have Steve show him Marseille.

Steve kissed him again and Bucky instantly wrapped his arms around Steve again. He felt so scared this might not be real, it was like he needed to keep hold of Steve to reassure himself. But with every kiss the fear faded to give way to happiness and Bucky knew he was okay. He was home.

 

****

 

“Stevie?”

Steve heard the voice from behind him and it made him freeze. It was a voice he didn’t think he’d ever hear again. For a moment he wondered if he was hallucinating. He turned round slowly, still not really believing his ears, and then didn’t believe his eyes.

Bucky was standing there, a few feet away. Bucky was looking anxiously at him. Steve tried to process the idea that Bucky was in Marseille.

“Bucky?” he said, his voice not quite working right, coming out too softly.

He must not have been hallucinating because this Bucky had cut his hair and that would be a weird thing to hallucinate, Steve thought.

“You cut your hair,” he said out loud, without really meaning to. He looked even more beautiful than he did in Steve’s memories. Steve took in every inch of him, from his shorter hair, to the gray and white checked shirt he was wearing over a white t-shirt, to his dark jeans and his boots that were definitely not the right sort of footwear for the climate. He looked a little bigger, more muscled and stronger, and a little tan, like he’d been out in the sun a lot.

“Your beard is gone,” Bucky replied. Steve watched as his perfect lips formed the words and his voice reached Steve’s ears again, making his chest clench at the sound, as though his heart was physically squeezing itself.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, still shocked that Bucky was actually there.

“I had to see you.”

Steve’s brain engaged a little more, moving past the initial shock and he was suddenly curious. “How did you know where I was?”

“I went to your office. Sam and Tony told me. Tony flew me over.”

Steve frowned. “He flew you over?” _Why would Tony fly Bucky over here?_

“Yeah, he’s inside,” Bucky replied.

“Oh.” Steve looked over at the house. He was surprised Tony hadn’t come straight out to see him. Steve had not been great at keeping in contact for the last couple of months.

“You left?” Bucky asked.

Steve thought back to the day he left. It brought back all kinds of bad memories. “I did,” he said to Bucky. “Why did you need to see me?” Bucky really wasn’t explaining himself here and Steve couldn’t let himself fill in the blanks because what if he was wrong?

Bucky stepped forward. Steve wasn’t sure what to do so he didn’t move. “I know you must hate me—”

“I never hated you, Bucky,” Steve interrupted straight away. “I completely understood why you left.” He really had. It made sense that Bucky left him. Bucky was young and he needed to discover the world for himself. He didn’t need Steve dragging him down, keeping him from all the options out there for him. Steve didn’t want to be the thing Bucky settled for and regretted later.

“I thought I needed to,” Bucky said. “It felt like everything was at a turning point and I didn’t know which way to go. I needed to get my head together and I knew if I factored you in then I wouldn’t think straight.”

Steve listened, wondering why Bucky was telling him this. He already knew this. He’d said he didn’t want to be tied down by Steve.

“Three days ago, I kissed someone,” Bucky said, his voice soft, as though he knew the damage he would cause Steve.

Steve felt a sharp pain go through him, like how he imagined it would feel to be stabbed. Why was Bucky telling him this? His throat felt dry. He swallowed hard.

“Or, well, they kissed me, I guess,” Bucky continued. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that it made me realise how stupid I was. It was nothing. It meant nothing and it felt wrong and all I could think about was you and how right we always were and how no one else would ever be right. All I could think about every day before that was you.”

Steve stood staring at him. Bucky had been thinking of him?

Bucky looked into his eyes and Steve felt his heart thumping, having those amazing gray-blue eyes looking at him again.

“I just didn’t think it was possible that I’d meet the love of my life at twenty-two.”

Steve forgot how to breathe. He took a sharp intake of air. Bucky thought he was the love of his life? Steve couldn’t believe it.

Bucky kept speaking. “I know I told you not to wait. But please, please tell me that I haven’t lost you for good,” he said, his voice sounding sad. “I know I don’t deserve you, but I love you so damn much.”

Steve’s heart felt like it was taking off, threatening to burst out of his chest. Bucky still loved him? Bucky wanted to be with him? Bucky was here and he was saying everything Steve had never let himself fantasize about. He’d come back to Steve. Steve didn’t care about the hurt anymore. His whole body was singing out for Bucky.

“I thought you were gone for good,” Steve said quietly, still not quite believing it. “I knew I had to let you go, but I don’t think I managed it yet,” he admitted, unable to keep a smile from his face.

Bucky stepped closer and Steve moved forward, pulling Bucky into his arms. It felt like actual heaven, being able to hold him again and breathe him in. The empty feeling Steve had been carrying around for months was just gone in a moment, replaced by pure happiness at having Bucky back in his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” Bucky sniffed at him. “Please, just say we can go back, please forgive me.”

Steve pulled back. As much as he wanted that too, he knew that wasn’t possible. There was no going back—things had changed and they wouldn’t work that way.

“Bucky, if we do this again...” He stopped for a moment, trying to phrase it right. “We can’t go back. We’d be starting over and I know that no one can say forever, not really...but I just, I don’t think I can start again without feeling like it’s for the long run, you know?”

He knew it was a risk, that it might overwhelm Bucky, but as much as Steve wanted to be with him, he couldn’t risk his heart that way again, not without knowing Bucky was all in.

Bucky nodded vigorously. “That’s what I want too, I swear.”

Steve looked at him, at the pure openness on Bucky’s face and he believed him. Bucky really loved him and wanted to be with him. He used his thumb to wipe over the tears on Bucky’s face. It still killed him when Bucky cried.

His heart was aching. He leant down, sparking with anticipation, not believing he was able to do this again, and kissed him.

It felt at once familiar and new. It was perfect. It was everything—Bucky’s soft lips moving against his, Bucky’s hands round Steve’s neck, sending shivers down his spine.

Steve broke the kiss feeling a bit overcome with emotion. Bucky rested their foreheads together—he didn’t seem to want to stop touching Steve.

“Will you move in with me?” Steve asked before he could stop himself. He needed that little reassurance that this was real and that Bucky really meant what he said.

“Yes,” Bucky replied straight away, and Steve felt relief and then happiness flow through him.

“Wait, do you mean in New York or do you want to stay here? It seems nice here, I could do here,” Bucky added, Steve watching bemused as he looked around.

“I meant New York.” He felt even surer of Bucky now, considering he seemed happy to move to France to be with him if that was what Steve wanted.

“That’s probably better,” Bucky told him and Steve had to agree. They kissed again, long and deep and Steve felt a massive sense of contentment, like everything was right in the world again.

“Stevie, I’m so sorry I put you through this,” Bucky said. He sounded truly heartbroken about it.

Steve thought back. When he’d first arrived in Marseille, he knew he’d been running away and he didn’t care. He couldn’t stay there in his apartment, with it holding so many memories of Bucky and with the city they’d met in taunting him at every turn. Jacques had been happy for him to come and stay when he’d called, though Steve hadn’t told him the whole story until he’d arrived.

Sam had picked up the email Steve wrote to him explaining everything as soon as he’d arrived back from his honeymoon, and he had flown over with Tony. That had been difficult, with them both trying to convince Steve to come back. He’d definitely said some things he didn’t mean and some angry words had been exchanged, but eventually they’d given up trying. Steve had spent a long time with only minor contact with his friends. He’d truly wanted to get away from everything.

Every day hurt. His least favourite part of the day became when he’d just woken up and his brain hadn’t remembered, before it kicked in a second later and reminded him how hollow he felt. In his stronger moments he wondered what Bucky was doing and if he was happy. In his weaker moments, a bottle of whiskey became his best friend.

Still, it hadn’t been all bad. He’d spent his days on his art, sometimes for work and sometimes just for him. He and Jacques talked about the war in a way they hadn’t before. Gabe and Dum Dum had even visited once and those few days had been the best he’d had here, because they were so effective at keeping his mind off Bucky. But still, he’d never stopped thinking of him and missing him.

“It’s been hard,” Steve admitted. “I think being here was good for me though, forced me to slow down. I picked back up with doing art for art’s sake...” He looked over at the painting he’d been doing.

“It’s beautiful here.” Bucky looked round Jacques’ garden.

Steve followed his eyes. Somehow he didn’t feel ready to leave this place just yet. “Did you...I mean, if you don’t need to get back right away, maybe we could stay for a little while?” Steve asked hopefully.

“I’m not going anywhere without you,” Bucky told him, turning his head back to Steve. “Ever,” he added firmly.

Steve kissed him again, feeling relieved. He’d never dreamed Bucky would come back. No one had ever come back before. He’d certainly never believed that Bucky would want him the way he had always wanted Bucky. Of course he wished Bucky had never left, but now it felt like there was this promise between them—that this was it and nothing would keep them apart ever again.

 

****

 

When Steve and Bucky finally went back into the house, Tony and Jacques were waiting. Tony strode over to Steve and practically body slammed him with a hug, pulling Bucky’s hand away from Steve’s.

“Hey, Tony,” Steve said with a laugh.

“Missed you, Cap,” Tony said as he pulled away. “Everything okay?” he asked, frowning at Bucky.

Steve gave him a soft smile and took Bucky’s hand again. “Yeah.” He appreciated Tony’s concern, but as far as Steve was concerned, everything was exactly as it was supposed to be.

Tony seemed happy with that. “Excellent. So you’re coming home.”

“Actually, I thought we might stay a little, if it’s okay?” he asked Jacques.

“Of course,” Jacques responded. “You know that.” Steve was so grateful for his generosity.

“How long is a little?” Tony asked.

Steve shrugged. “Maybe a week or so?” he suggested. He wanted to show Bucky around and have a chance to say goodbye to the place.

Tony gave him a slightly annoyed look. “Alright fine, but I’m sending the jet to get you when you call.”

Steve tried to protest but Tony argued back until Steve agreed.

Tony decided to stay overnight so they could all have dinner together and Jacques suggested taking him out to see the area. He didn’t invite Bucky or Steve. Steve appreciated that.

When they were alone again, Bucky instantly wrapped his arms around Steve again and buried his head against Steve’s chest.

“Buck, what’s wrong?” Steve asked, kissing Bucky’s hair.

“I just...I can’t even explain how much I missed you.”

Steve just squeezed him. Steve had never missed anything the way he’d missed Bucky. “What are your plans now?” he asked, feeling only a little tentative. Bucky had made it clear that whatever his plans were, they would involve Steve.

Bucky shrugged as he looked up at Steve. “Move in with you?”

Steve chuckled at him. “Apart from that?”

“I think my masters,” Bucky admitted. “I really do want to do it.”

Steve nodded at him. “That’s great.”

“It’s kind of stupid that it took me this long just to figure out that I wanted what I already had,” he replied, his voice low, sounding a little ashamed of himself.

“Hey,” Steve said, his hand running through Bucky’s hair, “it’s okay. At least now you know for sure.”

“What sort of rent should I pay you?” Bucky asked suddenly. “I got a scholarship I applied for just in case, but that’s only going to cover school expenses so I’ll have to see if I can get my bookshop job back...” Bucky babbled a little, like he was talking to himself more than to Steve.

“Can I make a request?” Steve asked.

Bucky looked up at him. “Sure?”

“Two actually,” Steve amended. “One—no rent. I own my place, I don’t need it—”

“I can’t—” Bucky started.

“Yes, you can. And two, don’t get a job. Let me help out,” Steve continued.

“Steve, no,” Bucky said firmly.

“A masters is intense. I don’t want you having to worry about the work and having a job and paying for things. You don’t have anyone to lean on, but I can be that person,” Steve argued. He wanted Bucky to know that he would always be there for him and know that he didn’t have to do everything alone anymore. They were a team.

Bucky looked like he didn’t know what to say. “Can we discuss this later?” Bucky asked.

Steve smiled with a sigh. “Fine, we’ll talk on the plane ride back,” he allowed. There was no need to ruin the best day of his life with talking about practical matters. He wasn’t going to let this go though.

Bucky nodded. “Good. I really feel like any moment we aren’t kissing is a moment wasted right now.”

Steve smiled. “So demanding.” He pulled Bucky back in and kissed him, his hands running into Bucky’s hair, Bucky’s hands caressing his face, as he delighted in having Bucky back with him, just like it had always meant to be this way.

 

****

 

It was late when Tony and Jacques finally packed it in for the night. Jacques had made butternut squash soup for dinner and then they’d all sat in the garden, drinking wine as the sun set. Jacques had taken the time to get to know Bucky, but not before giving him a stern warning, which led to Tony saying he’d already handled that and Bucky wasn’t going to do anything stupid this time. Steve had felt a little embarrassed, but Bucky seemed to know that, through the jokes, they were deadly serious and he had promised them both, while looking at Steve, that he was here to stay.

Steve held Bucky’s hand as they headed for Steve’s bedroom. He was on the ground floor, with glass doors straight onto the garden so it only took a few moments. The room was cloaked in darkness, but with enough light coming in from outside. He stood and looked at the bed and felt Bucky’s hand in his and suddenly realised he was nervous. He let go of Bucky’s hand and sank down onto the edge of the bed.

Bucky apparently noticed his nervousness. “Stevie, you okay?” he asked, coming to stand in front of him.

Steve breathed in deeply, looking at Bucky’s waist in front of him in the semi-darkness of the room. “Just…it’s…” he stopped. He couldn’t really put it into words.

Bucky’s hands ran through his hair, gently lifting Steve’s face to look at him. “It’s a lot, right?”

Steve nodded, glad Bucky understood. He was beyond overjoyed Bucky was here, but the day had been pretty overwhelming and extremely emotional and he sort of felt like he was crashing.

“We don’t have to do anything,” Bucky told him. “I know I need to earn your trust back, I don’t expect you to just…” he trailed off and gave Steve a little smile, his eyes open and honest.

It was exactly what Steve needed to hear. He lifted his hand to Bucky’s face and pulled him in for a kiss. He went slow, lingering over it, feeling every second of it.

At some point, Bucky climbed into his lap, but he continued to only kiss Steve, not doing anything more, except being able to grasp Steve’s face in his hands more closely.

Steve felt the tears on his face before he’d realised he was crying. Bucky must have felt the moisture on his hands because he pulled away, face full of worry.

“Stevie…” he breathed out, gently wiping his fingers across Steve’s cheek.

Steve sniffed, embarrassed. “Sorry, I…umm…I think it’s just been a long day.” It was as though his brain had finally processed reality and all his emotions were hitting him at once.

Bucky shook his head at him. “Don’t say sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry for putting you through this.”

Steve smiled softly at him. “Can we decide now that that’s the last time you say that? I don’t want you to feel like you have this hanging over you. I understand and you’re back now,” he said simply.

Bucky looked like he was getting a little teary now. “Jesus, Steve…I could live a thousand lifetimes and still not deserve you.”

Steve shook his head. “You deserve anything you want.”

Bucky chuckled softly. “Would it be too cheesy to say I just want you?”

Steve smiled and leant forward to kiss him again, capturing Bucky’s bottom lip gently. He tentatively pushed Bucky’s shirt down over his arms when he broke the kiss, Bucky watching him, until the shirt was discarded to the floor. He continued slowly, lifting Bucky’s t-shirt until Bucky helped him pull it over his head.

Bucky stared at him, clearly unsure what to do, until Steve pulled off his own t-shirt and pulled Bucky against him. Bucky pressed against him—the feel of Bucky’s warm skin against his own—sent electric sparks through Steve’s body. Bucky kissed him, running his hands over Steve’s arms.

It felt like they stayed like that for hours, kissing softly and holding each other, slowly divesting each other of their clothes. Sometimes Bucky would murmur to him about how happy he was or how much he loved Steve. It made Steve relax further.

They lay together naked, just touching and kissing each other. It was as though they were rediscovering each other and it felt like the most intimate moment Steve had ever experienced.

They finally made love softly and slowly, making every moment last, Steve feeling overwhelmed by it all again, as he stared into Bucky’s eyes. When they finally collapsed together, Bucky held him, seeming to sense that Steve needed it and Steve started to feel calmer. He realised he’d been holding back as Bucky told him again that he loved him and Steve didn’t want to hold back anymore.

“I love you too, Bucky.”

 

 

 

 

_Epilogue_

 

Bucky got a job before he’d even started his masters. When Steve had called Tony, ready to return to the States, Tony had surprised them by returning himself on the jet. He and Bucky had got to talking and Tony had offered him a job on the spot, working on his project looking into advanced prostheses for injured soldiers. He said he’d been inspired by Steve, Sam and Riley’s service and those who hadn’t been as lucky as them. Steve had hugged him for an extra long time after Tony had told him about the project.

Bucky had been fascinated with Tony’s ideas for using biotechnology. Tony decided Stark Industries would sponsor Bucky, who would do his masters part-time, while working at Stark Tower. Steve reminded Tony that he actually had to ask Bucky.

Bucky had been completely bowled over and worried that it was just because of Steve, before Tony revealed that he may have read Bucky’s final year project and been impressed. Steve didn’t bother to ask how he managed to get his hands on it—Tony, it seemed, could do anything. Tony also seemed excited at the idea of pilfering him from Bruce, who’d apparently been interested in offering Bucky a job before he’d left.

Steve returned to Shield, but with a slightly reduced workload, with Viz still managing most of the business side of things. They hired Natasha as a junior designer. Steve got to keep being creative and he got to leave the office at more normal hours most of the time and he was grateful for it. The time away had given him perspective on what was most important.

Spending time with his friends was important. He’d never felt luckier to have them. They’d welcomed him home with open arms and none of them had questioned his decision to take Bucky back. He was grateful for that, especially as some of his friends were fiercely protective of him. He’d been a little worried, the first time they’d all met up, but then Thor had crushed Bucky with a hug and the others had followed his lead and it had been like nothing had changed, except for the fact that Viz was there too, holding Wanda’s hand. Steve had been thrilled to find out they’d been dating for a month, though Wanda told him to calm down and not make a big deal of it. Bucky had looked pretty sheepish when he’d realised they were together.

Living with Bucky was even better than Steve had imagined because even though he’d stayed before, now he was there for good and it was their home. He loved going to sleep with Bucky every night and waking with him there every morning. He loved when they’d catch up about their days or when Bucky would surprise him with dinner when he got home a little late. He loved dragging Bucky into the shower with him in the morning or into bed when he arrived home at night. He loved weekends when they’d spend hours wrapped up in each other, away from the rest of the world. He never stopped feeling lucky to have Bucky and he knew now without a doubt that Bucky felt the same way.

 

****

 

Five months after Bucky moved in, he proposed to Steve. Steve said no, completely annoyed that Bucky had ruined the proposal Steve had been planning. It took Steve a minute to realise exactly what Bucky was asking and then he changed his answer. He still proposed to Bucky later, even though they were already engaged, refusing to miss out on getting to do his proposal. Bucky rolled his eyes and said yes.

When they kissed, Steve still felt the sparks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! We made it! I hope you liked it, tell me all your thoughts below! I hope this makes up for the evil chapter ;)
> 
> If you'd like some music to go with this, it's This Love by Ryan Adams (which is a cover of Taylor Swift). It wasn't written with the song in mind but it totally fits.
> 
> Now...not to make this sound like an oscar speech, but thank you so much to everyone who has read this, kudosed it, and commented on it. I appreciate every single one of you. I will be around so I hope for more comments as people read the completed fic :) I promise I'll always reply :)
> 
> Repeat commenters - you are my stars, it's hard to stick with WIP fics sometimes (at least it is for me) so thank you. Some of you have commented on practically every chapter and in honour of that a few of you might notice that I've weaved versions of your usernames into this chapter (some obvious, some more tenuous). Those that I haven't, I still love you, but your names were too hard to do that with!!
> 
> There's a [deleted scene from TSS on my tumblr](https://deadto27.tumblr.com/post/177660219815/the-sweetest-spark-deleted-scene) if you're interested also :)


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